Rescue Me
by Alliehalliwell
Summary: GorenOC. Judge burned alive...Goren & Eames up to their neck in suspects. Will Goren cross the line when he falls in love with one of them? While dealing with his mother's death, will Goren's light lead him into the darkness? CH 35 is up!
1. Chapter 1

L&O:CI – I own nothing but the OC. Law&Order and it's characters belong to Dick Wolf and NBC.

I'm pretending events in CI happened a few years earlier so that Bobby's only 40 during S6. Why? Because I feel like it….so b/c of that and the fact that I might mess with the time line later, I'm saying it's AU. You don't like, then stop reading:0)

I have most of the story written but I'm fixing some parts. Hopefully it won't take long to post the whole thing up here. Italics are generally thoughts.

Reviews welcome as long as they're constructive and not mean.

* * *

An Italian couple walked down the street, talking. The man had his arm around the woman. 

"Yeah and next time David, if we get there earlier than we can actually get some seats."

"I know, I know, next time I'll just shut up and do as you say. If you tell me to get ready when I get home then I will."

"_Right_."

"What, you don't think-" He stopped, hearing a man scream from nearby.

"What was that?"

He took his arm from his girlfriend's shoulder. "Hold on." He went around the corner. In the parking lot across the street a man ran around, waving his arms and screaming, on fire.

"Jesus!" David pulled out his phone and dialled 911.

* * *

Detective Alexandra Eames came back from talking to the couple and headed over to her partner. 

Detective Robert Goren picked up a tiny white piece of fluff from the victim's burnt shoe and studied it. "It's not cotton…" He tilted his head, thinking. "Maybe cashmere?" He felt a pang of sadness remembering the day when he was 10, when he got home from school and found his mom at home burning a cashmere sweater of hers in the sink. She had thought it was crawling with germs.

It wasn't a pleasant memory but now that's all he had left of her. As of 9 days ago, she was just a memory. This was Goren's first case back. No one could talk him into taking more time off.

He needed a distraction and solving a puzzle, which was his job, always helped.

Eames shook her head. "Looks more like angora or chenille…it's hard to tell."

He dropped it into a plastic evidence bag and told the CSU. "Test this." The CSU officer nodded and brought the bag over to the other evidence bags. Goren stood up, over the charred body and looked around. He pointed. "Cameras."

"I'll collect them." Eames volunteered and headed towards the office across the street. Goren walked around the rest of the crime scene, checking under the car for any clues. He didn't find any.

Later that day…in the coroner's office...

"Autopsy confirms, our vic died by fire. His throat closed in an attempt to prevent smoke inhalation but he then affixiated…time of death between 10:30pm and 11:30pm."

"Any…injuries aside from that? Signs of a struggle?" Goren asked though he hadn't seen any at the crime scene.

"No, nothing."

"He was probably caught by surprise." Eames said. "What was the accelerant?"

"Good ole fashioned gasoline."

"That'll narrow down our search." Eames sighed.

Back at MCS...

"You don't see too many of those." Ross said interested.

"Well fire…fire's generally used to represent a cleansing o-or…retribution from above…"

"And rage." Eames added.

Goren nodded, closing his eyes briefly. "That too…as for the killer. He's likely male...female arsonists aren't as...common...and they tend to use...nail polish remover."

"_Traditionally_...that doesn't mean women still use that as often. There's plenty of chemicals a woman could use aside from that."

"You're not on the same page?" Ross asked curiously.

"I think we have every reason to believe this is simply payback. Nothing suggests anything else."

"Yes but…i-if it was revenge there are...other ways to do it….easier ways. Why fire?"

"A good question…go find out." Ross told them then picked up the phone that was ringing.

Goren and Eames left the office and went into the interview room where a bunch of the boxes were of Judge Edmund Ellison's cases. They started going through them.

"Ellison was a family court judge…what would be the most emotional cases?"

"Child Abuse cases."

"Or...custody cases...divorces."

They started taking out all those files and stacking them on the table. They were still left with an overwhelming number of cases to go through.

* * *

Goren hung up the phone. "Mrs. Navatni's alibi checked out….next on the list is…" He put her folder into the box next to him and took the next one of a stack of 100 left on his desk, Eames handling other folders as well on her desk. Each case had just enough given to the women in divorce cases that made it look almost fair, though most of those were possessions rather than any financial support. "Hannah Winters…sent in several different appeals…" he flipped a couple pages and skimmed a letter. "And a…diplomatic plea for more financial assistance from her ex." 

"Maybe it's the fact that these are all the hate letters and problem cases but it seems like there's a bit of a theme."

He nodded. "They got the r-raw end of the deal…maybe…maybe this is his punishment? The killer sees himself as a…vigilante?"

"You know, it's possible the killer's a woman." Eames offered. "If she was one of the scorned women then she'd have the rage to fit the bill."

"I-I suppose it's _possible_…just improbable."

They both got up, Goren slipping the file into his folder and they left.

Since it was the middle of the day they knew Miss Winters would be at work.

* * *

Hannah showed the couple the indoor fountain which was in the middle of a circular room that had gardens all around the glass walls. "This area's generally used for cocktails but if you prefer using it for a sitting area or if you would like the gift table and the guest book in here that's easy to arrange." She gave the information package to the future bride. 

"What are the flowers that grow outside? What will we have when I walk down the aisle?"

"If you decide on May you'll have Azaleas, bluebells, tulips, crabapples, rhododendrons, tree peony, irises, and lilacs. If it's in June, it'll be English marigolds, yarrow, love in a mist, lindens, California poppies, columbines, violets and roses. There's a booklet with pictures and descriptions of each flower for each month that we're open, inside your package."

They smiled, pleased.

"Do you have any questions?"

"Oh…no. We'll call and let you know what we decide."

From experience Hannah could tell she won them over. They shook hands and the couple left.

Hannah was unaware that behind her, in the doorway , the two detectives had been waiting, so as not to disturb her with the client. She leaned over and drew in the scent of the white orchids for a second. That was a perk to her job. Being around so many flowers. She couldn't deny the fact that she loved flowers. She was a sucker for them.

"Miss Winters?" Eames asked as they started towards her.

Goren's heart raced as they walked towards Hannah. He felt like everything was moving slow and he suddenly felt dizzy. _'Something about her…'_ He thought. _'She is so…'_

Right off he could tell she wasn't the career type. She had on a very feminine short sleeved pink peasant blouse and a dark brown skirt that came to her knees. Once she and the clients came inside she had taken off the long white winter jacket. Her hair was long and had two barrettes, one on either side. Her jewellery was a set of pink, purple, and blue glass beads hanging on fishing wire so they appeared to be floating.

She was not at all wearing anything inappropriate, but she wasn't exactly wearing the boring suits like the other people they often talked to who worked at one business or another. In Goren's experience the career driven women preferred suits rather than something what Hannah was wearing. Her outfit was a little more casual and eclectic. But then again that was generalizing. There was no other way to put it except that she dressed cute.

He swallowed the lump in his throat and found his mouth unusually dry. She was absolutely gorgeous which didn't help matters. However, she wasn't 'gorgeous' in the sense that she had legs to her neck and a bony body. She was thin but healthy looking and toned, and her hourglass figure…well he found it quite appealing. She was about 5'5" in height and had more of a classic beauty, but her emerald eyes also made her look more exotic. Of course it was her face he was taken in by first. Everything in him made him want to touch her and just see if her skin was as soft as it looked. Or to see if her lips felt as good against his as he imagined they would be.

_'She probably already has a boyfriend, or is remarried.'_ Goren thought to himself.

Hannah turned to them and smiled softly. She found it difficult to hear past the booming of her heart. _"With one look I knew I was going to marry your father and that I would love him for the rest of my life." _When she was little, before her parents had died she had believed her mother's words. But after their death she had learned that love wasn't like that.

Now, at 30, she was a believer again. She tried to seem calm.

"Yes? What can I do for you?"

"We're detectives Goren-" Eames motioned to her partner then herself. "-and Eames…we have some questions for you."

She frowned. "Are my kids-"

"They're okay." Goren said quickly, noticing the relief wash over her instantly. Her eyes were very expressive he noticed.

Eames added, "We're here about Judge Ellison. He was the judge for your divorce and custody proceedings?"

She nodded, wondering what that had to do with anything. "Yes."

Goren smelled some of the flowers around him and couldn't help but want to see if Hannah smelled anything like them.

"In your file it says you've appealed 6 times the decision the judge made concerning your kids. Why so often?"

Goren opened his notebook and returned his attention back to Hannah. He watched her seriously as she spoke.

"At first, because our house was in my husband's name. It didn't matter that I was the one that paid for most of it. It was after the third appeal that he finally changed his mind about the house."

Goren tilted his head. "The file…it said your husband is a…corporate attorney?"

She nodded, pushing the feeling she felt in her gut away. "Why are you interested in my divorce?"

"Judge Ellison was killed three days ago."

She flinched. "Why? What happened?"

"He was murdered."

She couldn't hide the surprise on her face.

"Just to…for procedure…we need to check…w-where were you...Monday night?"

"At home with my kids…all night."

"We'll have to verify that."

She nodded.

"Do you get a lot of weddings here?" Goren motioned, smiling.

She blinked at him, her face softening. "Yep. There's usually four or five a month. More in the summer."

He crossed his arms over his binder and leaned forward. "And w-why did you keep putting in... appeals if you got the house?"

"Oh…" she tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "My ex husband wanted partial custody of the kids. I wanted full custody…well the judge granted him partial custody but because I got them during the week he decided against granting me alimony and the child support…well I thought I should get more."

Goren tilted his head while Eames looked at her confused. "Alimony? You weren't making a lot?"

She shook her head. "At the time I was working in a clerk in a bookstore…it didn't pay much."

"There's a notation in the file…UBC…w-what do you think that means?"

"UBC?" She asked confused.

Goren read what was written in the judge's handwriting. "'Miss Winters' medical bills will not be required to be paid by Jake Moore. The UBC's effect on her is not of Mr. Moore's doing."

She frowned. "Unborn Child…I was pregnant at the time…it was a lot of stress. I fainted a few times."

"You were pregnant…so you thought…you were going to lose your house and you had medical concerns…you couldn't have worked then?"

"Right." She tucked her hair again. "The judge didn't see it that way."

Goren gave a little nod. "Okay…" he took a card out of his binder and gave it to her. "If you think of any reason…remember anything…about judge Ellison…or anything…" he pointed to the card.

Eames raised her eyebrows, smirking at him. He fidgeted more than normal.

Hannah nodded and watched them go.

Goren smiled, glancing at Hannah over his shoulder when they reached the doorway. She was studying his business card.

"You can roll in your tongue now." Eames smirked at him.

He looked at her surprised and serious now. "Uh…" he blinked and shook his head. "Her uh…case." He blinked again. "The…c-child support." He looked in his binder again. "It says she's supposed to get $400 a month…"

"That's not even enough to pay for food…she got screwed alright. If I had two kids to take care of and that's all I was getting it'd make me want to kill too."

"But I don't think it's her. She's too…" he waved his hands, searching for the right word. "Anxious." He glanced at Eames, then back at the doorway they just came out of. She didn't get what he was saying. "The way she played with her necklace…she's got little…nervous habits. The killer doesn't. He's direct and determined." He pointed behind him, at the door. "She didn't get angry when we spoke of the judge's decision…just…upset…and she had an alibi."

"Who were _her_ children."

Bobby sighed, hearing the warning in Eames voice as she said the last part. It was a subtle way of saying, "remember the last woman you fell for on a case?" He did. Nelda had been a suspect and still Bobby had found himself growing to care for her, even when he knew she could be the killer. Part of him had wanted to believe otherwise, so he did. Then he discovered that she was in fact a murderer. Falling for someone he was meant to protect innocents from broke his heart and gave him even more trust issues to deal with.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimers: The brilliance of Law&Order: Criminal Intent, and all its characters belong to Dick Wolf and NBC. I own none of that and never will.

First off, thank you to all of you who've read and reviewed. Sorry about the weird posting problems with this story. I still don't know why it kept vanishing. The problem seems to be fixed though.

Also, I just thought I'd give a special thanks to HX9 for helping me with a few questions when I was still working on writing this story.

* * *

Hannah started making dinner and wondered what detective Goren liked during his meals. Her mind wandered back to him all day. The man seemed to fidget a lot but somehow it was attractive. It wasn't like he had strange ticks in anyway, but the mannerisms were just…appealing. He looked especially cute when he tilted his head or the way he smiled. 

She felt butterflies in her stomach and her body melt at the same time. She smiled to herself, unaware that she was blushing, while she dropped the pieces of beef into the large pot to let it cook.

Her son Max, who had shaggy dark brown hair and square wire framed glasses, came into the room. "Why are you humming?"

"Hmm?" she looked at him surprised. "Humming?" she asked confused.

"Yeah you're humming. You never hum."

"Uh…" she wasn't aware of any humming. "I do too."

"No you don't." He walked over to the fridge and grabbed a pizza pocket from it.

Hannah snatched it from him. "No _you_ don't...dinner will be ready soon."

"You're making stew…that's 5 minutes for _that_…30 minutes for water and spices to cook…and another 25 for the gravy broth and tomato paste to cook."

"So? For the next hour you starve." She turned him around. "Homework."

"Done."

"Then go watch something fun on tv."

He shrugged and did just that. For a kid of 14, Max was far beyond his years. He had already skipped 3 grades and could have gone further, but his social life which was bad to start with really had trouble. Kids at school always had ridiculed him and some beat him up. Hannah didn't want to add to those problems.

About twenty minutes later the doorbell rang.

Hannah stirred the broth then answered the door, not realizing her hair was now up and messy, in her clip. She hid her pleasure the best she could when she realized it was detective Goren again. It came out in a small smile. "Detectives."

"We were in the neighbourhood." Eames smiled.

Goren took a step forward. Hannah stepped aside to let them in. "Please, come in."

He turned around and smiled at her. "Oh boy, _something_ smells great." He wandered into the kitchen. It was an open-concept connected to the living room. He stirred the pot and waved the steam upwards to smell it better.

Max came from the living room, with a hooded zip up sweater in his hands. "What are _you_ doing?" he asked suspiciously. He'd never seen this guy before and here he was on the verge of giving their meal a taste test.

Goren looked at him surprised, then back at Hannah, then back at him again. Hannah was only thirty but she had a 14 year old. It didn't take a genius to figure out what had happened there. He smiled, pointing at Max. "You must be Hannah's brother?" he grinned at Hannah.

She couldn't help but smile. She glanced down sheepishly, beaming, lifting her eyes first before the rest of her followed. Flirting wasn't something foreign to her. Men flirted a lot with her but Goren's flirting affected her differently. She actually wanted his advances.

Goren stared at her for a second. Not only was he glad that she liked the compliment but her reaction…it took his breath away. She had an incredible smile. It made him light headed and he couldn't think.

Max narrowed his eyes at Goren.

"This is my son Max…Max these are detectives Goren….and Eames."

He pulled on his sweater over the Simple Plan t-shirt he already wore. "'Cause of the judge?"

Goren blinked. "Yeah." He left the kitchen. "Simple Plan?" he pointed to his shirt. "Does t-that mean anything?"

"They're a _band_." He said like it was obvious.

"If we could talk to your kids separately…" Eames told her. It wasn't an interrogation and they weren't exactly suspects so Hannah didn't see what was wrong with it.

Hannah nodded. "Noah's not feeling well today though." She led Eames upstairs.

Goren wandered over to the fireplace. "You have a nice house…I like it…it's…colourful and…warm." He pointed to the 8x10 picture framed and sitting on the middle of the mantle. "This was recent? At Christmas." He could see a blurred image of Christmas lights over Hannah's shoulder in the picture. It was of her and the boys. They were sitting in front and she had her arms around them.

Goren felt a pang of envy…and grief. His Christmas was spent watching over his mom. Due to the radiation therapy, that completely wiped her out, she had slept for 22 of the 24 hours. The other two hours had been alright but he had been very lonely…something not uncommon for him.

"Yeah."

Goren glanced briefly at a couple of the other pictures then gravitated to the bookshelf to look at some there, and some of the book titles. "Monday night, what time did you go to bed?"

"You think I did it?" he bit.

Goren turned to him surprised. "No…" The kid was definitely threatened by him alright, and he was angry.

He took a deep breath. "Went up to my room at ten it was about midnight when I passed out."

"And your mom…?"

"Mondays…she doesn't normally get to sleep until two."

"Why's that?" he asked interested.

"After she gets home from work she does chores."

"Don't you help her?"

"Of course I do. Laundry, wash the dishes, and cooking sometimes…and she makes me clean my room once a week." He spat, insulted that it had been implied that he didn't do anything to help his mom.

Goren held up his hands in surrender, not liking the fact the boy was so pissed off at him.

Max went to the stove and stirred the pot a little.

"This yours?" Goren asked, taking the clay disk which stood up on a little stand, with the hand imprint off the shelf.

"Yeah, when I was 2."

"Does your brother have one?"

"It broke. We'll make another eventually."

He smiled and pointed out the fat pink, squatting flamingo statue on the shelf. It had bulging eyes and bucked teeth. It was real goofy looking. He chuckled. "I _like_ that."

Max's voice relaxed for a moment, trying to figure the detective out. "It's a flamingo…a bank."

"Yours?"

"I don't 'do' pink."

"Your mother's?"

"Yeah but technically it's the family's…she bought it though."

Goren went up to a picture on the table by the window ledge. It was of Max, a couple years younger, holding Noah who was barely a year old. They were next to a man who had his hand on Max's shoulder. He grabbed the picture. "This your dad?"

"Yeah…are you always so nosy?"

"Sorry…habit." He studied the picture. "He has blue eyes…are they contacts?"

"No he just has blue eyes and before you start, he _is_ my dad. His parents had brown eyes and my mom's dad did too. The gene for brown eyes was dormant in my parents but it's there...and we've got DNA tests to prove it." Unfortunately Hannah's ex had ordered paternity tests during the divorce as a way to try to squirm his way out of paying any child support at all. He lost and the kids were his.

Goren blinked. "Uh…well…okay…you get that a lot?"

He shrugged, going back into the kitchen to pretend he wasn't nervous by Goren's presence.

"Who's the musician?" Goren asked, pointing to the violin on the stand in the corner.

"Mom."

"She plays the violin?"

Max turned around, his hair fell in front of his eyes. He crossed his arms. "She used to."

"And the piano books?"

"I took lessons, now I don't."

"It's just these two floors?" Eames asked curiously as she and Hannah started down the stairs.

"The top two were converted into another apartment and so was the basement."

Goren put one of the books he was looking at down, the question he had about it fading away. He watched Hannah reach the bottom of the steps, his eyes studying her profile. "I think we're done here for now." Eames stated.

Goren gravitated towards the door and they said goodbye once more. Hannah shut the door behind them. Goren glanced at her as she did so, sharing a serious look. He didn't want to leave so soon. _'At least I know where she lives and works. I could always get a hold of her later.'_

Hannah pushed the little curtain on the window in the door aside, standing on her tip toes to see out. She watched the tall detective leave, and wondered if their short encounters had any effect on him at all or if he was just a flirt. Once they reached the car, Hannah lowered herself onto the flats of her feet and pushed the curtain back. She would hate for him to see her staring at him. It was a little embarrassing. She never felt like this for anyone. She locked the door and punched in the security code on the alarm.

She turned around and nearly jumped at the sight of Max standing there. "You like him."

"What-"

"Don't deny it I saw the way you were looking at him."

"So? He's still investigating…even if I wanted to he probably isn't allowed to date me yet."

"Mom." He said seriously. "Of the three guys you dated since dad, all of them were complete assholes. This guy is too. The way he flirted with you. He's a player."

She rolled her eyes, sighing. "Max, this is my business, not yours. Don't worry about me. I ended things before I got really hurt the last few times and I can do it again. End of discussion." She left him standing in the room, angry but then, that wasn't anything new.

* * *

Goren put the picture of his mom down, sighing, and went over to the big dark brown leather chair. He put the monthly subscriptions onto the coffee table and went into the kitchen for a drink. He brought the glass of scotch with him to the living room, sat down and started going through his magazines. 

After reading the Smithsonian, he took the thin black covered magazine the All-Seeing Eye and opened it up. It was an obscure magazine with mostly satires and artsy stories and pictures in it. He discovered it last year, and was grateful for it. This past year was extremely hard for him, and reading this magazine was one of the only things he looked forward to at the end of the day.

Of course, he was certain that could change if he was able to see Hannah again. He thought about calling her, or maybe just showing up on her front door. It wasn't appropriate though.

He closed his eyes and her image easily floated into his mind. He compiled a list of everything he knew about her so far and it only intrigued him more. She didn't have a wedding band or engagement ring on, and there were no pictures of her with another man around so odds were that she was single. A single mother with two boys. Hannah also wasn't afraid of being silly, hence the ridiculous; yet brilliant, flamingo bank. She knew how to play a difficult musical instrument such as the violin, and considering her numerous appeals in court she was most definitely a fighter. Judging from the smell of the food that was cooking, she was a good cook and overall, she was warm. She was polite to the detectives, the house was decorated warm and cozy, and her smile itself could melt an iceberg.

Goren tended to date career women but that had more to do with his opportunities to meet women more than anything. He wondered what it would be like going out with Hannah.

He opened his eyes and sighed, mentally telling himself he shouldn't waste his time thinking about her until it was actually possible for him to make a move. He started going through the magazine. Every so often his mind would wander back to Hannah.

There was one writer in the magazine that Goren particularly loved named Shawn Trainhen. His work alternated between deep, emotional writing that could move one to tears, and intelligent satires that could only make one laugh. He was an amazing writer and his stories always distracted Goren from his troubles.

After reading Shawn's current short story, twice, Goren moved onto the National Geographic. Two pages into it his phone rang.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I own nothing of Law&Order: Criminal Intent or its characters. They belong to Dick Wolf and NBC.

Note: I'm making up the addresses and name of the diner. I know nothing of NYC's geography.

* * *

Hannah hurried into the house. "Where is he?" She asked frantically.

Max came down the stairs, carrying his little brother with some difficulty. Max was still short for his age, and like many 14 yr olds, he was pretty scrawny. "He's all set. I figured you'd want to take him to the hospital."

"His fever was 102 last I checked." Linda said, grabbing her own jacket.

"Okay, everyone in the car." Hannah stepped aside. Linda had her own car so she took the money for baby sitting and left. Max was old enough to sit for Noah but Hannah wasn't comfortable leaving them until 3am all alone. Although, sometimes she didn't have a choice.

Tonight she felt especially guilty even though the boys had a sitter. She was their mother. She should have known that Noah wasn't well enough. She should have taken him to a hospital earlier instead of listening to her family doctor who thought it was a simple flu.

* * *

They were outside a house fire in Queens. Thick smoke billowed up from the house while firefighters fought the blaze.

Goren left Eames to talk to the neighbours while he went up to the fire truck. A firefighter was adjusting the water pressure while the others were working to put out the house fire. "How long will it take before we get inside?"

"Oh…probably an hour, the fire's almost out but we'll need to make sure it's safe first."

Goren reached up to pull a lever. The fireman pushed his hand away. "Hey man, don't do that!" he said alarmed.

Goren took a step back, rubbing his hands, itching to play with the levers.

Once the fire went out and the house was deemed safe Goren and Eames went inside to take a look at the crime scene. If it wasn't for the 911 tape that said a woman was seen rushing from the scene they wouldn't have thought the two fires were related.

By the time they were ready to go into the house the fire marshal was waiting with them. He walked with them through the house, pointing out anything that came to mind.

"The fire's origin?" Goren asked, pointing to the large dark circle on the ground in the kitchen.

"Destination, origin's down there…this is definitely an arson." The marshal followed the trail that even Goren found hard to see through all the burned flooring and ash left behind from the fire. "Judging by the pattern I'd say the fire spread next down this path…my guess is the accelerant left in a trail."

"Accelerant? Gasoline, would it be gasoline?" Goren asked.

"Most likely. The fire wasn't big enough or burning off any white smoke which rules out a number of chemicals…but gasoline is one of the most common of accelerants so yeah I would say-"

"Thank you." Goren cut him off, not needing him anymore. "She waited…he went into the kitchen for a late night snack…all she had to do was drop a match…" He then started back down the hallway, following the dark line where the gasoline led to the circle of gasoline. He stood in the centre of it. "He would have been taken by surprised…"

"The fire would have had him trapped."

Goren nodded and looked around at the ground. "There is some…" He squatted and put his hand to the floor where there was a large dark spot. "She poured some here…some gasoline…to make sure the fire killed him and not the smoke inhalation…" He nodded at Eames. "She wanted him terrorized before she killed him…it wasn't enough to just kill him…she's escalating."

"But to where?"

* * *

Back at 1PP…

Goren went through all the files of the cases that Victor Hamil handed in the last 9 years of his practice. It was the initial search. They were certain it was one of the people he was working against so they were looking for any names that were familiar.

He took the third folder, of the stack next to him, out and put it on top of the two in front of him. "Another one…Jane Morris."

Eames went through her own pile. She didn't even need to read the folder, she saw the name on the little tag. Jake Moore. She glanced up at Goren then down at the folder. "Bobby." She opened it and skimmed it to confirm and she did. She handed the folder to him.

He suddenly looked pale. "It's…w-we need to talk to her…s-she couldn't have…" He stood up quickly, closing the folder.

* * *

"This doesn't look good." Eames stated as they got out of the car.

"I know." He snapped. He sighed. "Sorry I just…" he rubbed his face, walking up to the Brownstone.

Goren rang the doorbell.

Hannah hurried to the door and opened it quickly. "Uh…hi."

Goren let out a breath and fidgeted.

"Can we come in?" Eames asked.

She looked into the other room. "Um, yeah but my son's asleep in the next room." She let them in and shut the door quietly. "We can go into the dining room." She led the way through the living room.

Goren stopped and studied the boy for a second. He was on the couch, covered by a quilt, laying on his side, asleep, sucking his thumb. Noah's hair was as dark as his mom and brother's. He smiled softly. The 3 year old boy was adorable and he looked so peaceful.

He joined the women in the dining room.

Eames started. "Where were you last night?"

"Last night? Why?" She asked confused. "I thought this was about Judge Ellison."

"Now this is about Victor Hamil…he was your husband's lawyer wasn't he?"

"Yes but I don't see what that has to do with why Judge Ellison was killed."

"Victor Hamil was killed last night."

She blinked. "What?"

"We need to know…w-where you were last night." Goren stated, trying to be professional, ready to jot down her alibi.

"I was at work."

"We just came from the gardens and they said you called in and took vacation time starting late last night."

"Oh, I meant the Flapjack Diner on fifteenth and Alymer st. I work there three nights a week….last night Max called and I came right home. Noah had a fever so we took him to the hospital…the Maimonides Medical Centre? I just wanted to make sure he was okay."

"Is he?" Goren asked concerned, relaxing the binder in his left hand.

"He still has the fever but he'll be fine. It's just the chicken pox."

"What time did you get to the hospital?"

"Around midnight…it was a long wait so we didn't get out of there until nearly three."

"Who was the doctor you dealt with?" Goren asked, wishing he didn't have to ask her these things. He didn't want her thinking that he suspected her of murder.

"Dr. Cavetziel…with a C." She glanced at Goren's notes.

He smirked, feeling much better. She had an alibi and a good one at that. He pulled the binder further away so she couldn't read it.

Once he finished scribbling the information down, he smiled at Hannah, relieved. "Has your son Max had the chicken pox yet?"

She smiled at the change of subject. "When he was six."

Goren nodded, smiling. "I remember when I had it. I was seven. My brother…he's a few years older…he hadn't had it yet. H-he wasn't…pleased." He fidgeted, holding the binder against his chest.

"Our school had an outbreak when I was eight. It was a small school and had to be shut down for a week."

Eames glanced between the two of them, an amused smile on her face. Goren was giddy as a schoolboy. "Well we should be going. We have other people to question."

It was a short visit but Goren felt better after it. Procedure required them to confirm her story and it was confirmed. Goren was more than happy to cross her off the list of suspects.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Hannah is my own, Law & Order: Criminal Intent and all of its characters belong to Dick Wolf and NBC.

Note – Thanks to all those who've reviewed. I have most of the story written but I'm tweaking a few things here and there. I'll try to get up the rest of the chapters as soon as possible.

* * *

A couple days later… 

Hannah stopped and slipped her foot out of her heels and rubbed it against the front of her other foot. They ached. She rubbed her neck as well, trying to massage the knot from it. She didn't care to admit it but working her long hours left her exhausted and feeling like she was 90. It was depressing to think about.

The bell over to the door jingled which caught her attention. _'Great, yet another customer.'_ She slid her foot back in her shoe and glanced in the direction of the door. To her surprise, it was Goren, and he was in his casual clothes. She made a mental note of how different he looked when he didn't wear a suit. Different but equally appealing. She smiled at him warmly.

Goren ran a hand over his hair and started over to her. He smiled. "I hear there's good coffee here."

Her smile broadened. "We have coffee but I don't know if you could consider it good." She led him to a table and stood between it and an empty booth. "Table or booth?"

"Uh…booth." He slid into it. Hannah put a menu in front of him. "I'd avoid the fish…I'll be right back." She left him to tend to the other tables.

Goren smiled to himself, tilting his head, enjoying the view of her walking away from him, and for her overall reaction of seeing him there. He had been worried she might not want to see him, even if it were under an innocent pretence. He just needed to see her. It was tough being alone and looking into in her eyes helped, especially at this point in his life. He needed something good to look forward to.

Hannah's uniform was a dull grey with white trim. It came a little low on the chest, showing some cleavage, and a little too short on the legs. She only seemed to mind when men were checking her out. It was obvious because she adjusted her collar as if that would make the plunge in her neckline somehow become a lot shorter. And judging by all the waitresses' uniforms which were all the same, and by the fact that there were no male servers, Goren could tell the owner of the diner was male and likely a chauvinist.

After pouring some drinks Hannah went back over to Goren, putting a complimentary glass of water on the table. "So what'll it be?"

"Uh…the roast beef? Medium-well and…" he studied the menu.

"Actually our chefs just have one temperature and it's well done."

"T-that's fine." He handed her the menu. "Fries too…please."

She opened her mouth to ask about a drink.

Goren didn't want her to just take the waitress mode. He wanted to talk to her, about what, it didn't really matter. "How's Noah?"

She smiled. "Itchy."

Goren chuckled, not quite expecting that answer. "I'll bet."

"Yep we've already gone through a bottle of calamine lotion. He looks so cute with all the white polka dots all over him. Unfortunately he's restless and _very_ unhappy about it."

He pointed downwards but didn't take his eyes off her. "Your feet are bothering you…I-I saw you when I came in…and you keep shifting your weight." She gained an amused smile. Goren fidgeted uncomfortably. Women always hated his out-of-the-blue comments and observations.

From calm and light hearted to nervous and self-conscious in a second flat. _'Maybe we do have something in common.' _Hannah wondered. "My boss, Perry, insists we wear these shoes and I need this job..." She shrugged.

He studied her and bit back the next question floating around in his head.

"What would you like to drink?"

"Oh…uh…root beer?"

"I can make you a root beer float?" She offered. The way his eyes lit up told her he wanted that before he even gave her an answer.

"Y-yes…that'd be…good."

She gave a little nod and left to put in his order. Goren glanced around and took part in some people watching. Every so often a thought would creep into his mind about the last few months. His mom had seemed to be doing better and Goren himself was on some anti-depressants to help him deal with everything. Then one day he got a call. His mother's heart had given out. Years of medication combined with the recent radiation and chemotherapy had been too much for her.

He still hadn't really dealt with her death. Sure he cried a little at the funeral, and when he first found out but he was still avoiding the issue. His doctor upped his dosage on his meds but other than that Goren was doing a good impression of a well-adjusted man. He knew it would hit him eventually though. He just preferred to pretend that it would never happen so he would never have to think about it.

His eyes fell on Hannah again. She bumped into a customer, nearly dropping two plates she was carrying then brought the plates to the pass through counter so they could be cleaned. She grabbed a fresh couple plates and headed over to another table. She smiled at the people in a clearly fake manner then served them and moved on to refill some mugs with coffee. The couple exchanged plates so they could get their real order.

Goren smiled, amused, and took a sip of his water. Waitressing definitely wasn't her calling. When she brought over his drink, he asked her one of the questions on his mind. "Did you take your break yet?"

"No…" she stopped herself from telling him that she never took breaks because it meant getting home 15 minutes earlier.

He gave a nod and motioned to the spot across from him. "Take a break…join me."

"Oh…I…ok." She tucked her hair, excused herself and told her boss. His order was up so she took it over to Goren and sat down. He offered her some fries but at first she declined. Two minutes later she grabbed a couple fries to still the starvation she had for the last 4 hours.

He smiled at her, tilting his head as she went on giving him a long answer to his question.

"…I did play a lot when I was pregnant with Noah but that was more to do with the fact that I was convinced it would help make Noah smart and well-developed…it was something I heard on the news once…but after he was born I didn't have time to play anymore…and that's when I stopped altogether, though I intend to eventually pick it up again." She stopped, realizing she was rambling on like a lunatic. "Sorry…I'm babbling."

"Oh, b-by all means…babble away." He snickered.

She took a tiny bite of her fry, now self-conscious. "So…uh…how long have you been on the force?"

"A long time…" he thought about it. It was awhile since he was asked that question but then again it was the last date he was on when that came up and that was a long time ago. He was starting to lose track and that only made him feel pathetic. "About 12 years...S-so… how come you…y-you and your husband got a divorce?"

Her mood changed instantly, from pleasant to less than thrilled. "Oh…"

_'Great. Way to go…you couldn't just keep that question in your head.'_ He had tried not to say it but he couldn't. Just like with most other things he felt compelled to say. "Sorry, I didn't mean…"

"No, it's okay." She tucked her hair behind her ear, taking a deep breath. "I thought you would have known. I mean, it was in the file wasn't it?"

"There wasn't a reason listed." He said curiously.

"Oh. I thought it would be. Well…basically commitment didn't mean anything to my husband."

Goren frowned. He hated how so many people didn't seem to understand the meaning of loyalty, and Hannah didn't deserve to be treated so callously. "Even while you were pregnant?"

"That's when I caught him." She looked away, stuffing a fry into her mouth.

He sighed, rubbing his face. "Does Max know?"

She nodded. "He was with me when we walked in on him...I wish...I wish I could have spared him that."

Goren leaned back slightly, an annoyed look crossing his face. He rubbed his mouth then chin, and rested his hands on the table again. "That's why...h-he's so…angry."

Hannah shrugged and tried thinking of something else to talk about but was drawing a blank. The only thing popping to mind was how fast her heart was beating and the fact that he was a couple feet away but part of her felt as though he might as well be miles away. Finally she just blurted out. "You're distracted. Is something wrong?"

He blinked, opening his mouth to give the usual 'I'm fine' response but nothing came out. He gave a small shrug. "It's…" he shook his head and motioned to the clock. "It's been 15 minutes."

She glanced at it, then back at him. "Right…" She tucked her hair and slid out of the booth. "Thanks for the fries." She started to head back to the counter.

Goren grabbed her wrist. "I didn't mean…that…"

She smiled at him softly. "I know, it's okay."

He felt his insides melt and stared at her again as she left to take care of the next order.

Goren shut his eyes and sighed. _'Why didn't I just ask her out? I've done this a million times…' _Truth of the matter was that he _was _distracted but it wasn't just by her. It was everything. His mom's death, the fact that his brother once again disappeared to do whatever it is he was going to do…gambling most likely. Then Hannah…well he just wasn't sure he could handle rejection right now, especially from her. It would destroy him. Not that he could really start a relationship with her just yet. There were rules for this sort of thing.

He sighed, confused and frustrated. No, it was best to keep things friendly and light for now.

"Would you like anything else?" Hannah asked him once he was done his meal.

"No, I'm okay." Eating at 1am wasn't the smartest thing to do. Especially since he was self conscious about his gut more than ever. He hadn't quite realized before but over the past 6 months he had gained close to twenty pounds…though one good thing about being so tall was that not all of the weight was noticeable.

Hannah gave him the bill. The root beer float was only marked as a root beer. It was the only way she could do him a favour otherwise her boss would notice if she gave him a meal on the house. "How are you going to pay?"

"Cash." He wiped his mouth with the paper napkin.

"Well…come back any time detective."

"Bobby…call me Bobby...or Robert."

She smiled and gave him a nod. "Have a good night, Bobby."

He felt light headed again and nodded. He barely got out, "Y-you too…Hannah."

She left to tend to an annoyed customer a few booths down but kept glancing back at him. When Goren opened the door to leave, they exchanged smiles. Hannah gave a little wave and he slipped out. She poured a cup of coffee and bit her lip, smiling, burning the image of his awkward smile into her mind.

"Hey!"

Hannah blinked and realized the cup of coffee was overflowing all over the table. She put the coffee pot down then scrambled to clean up the mess.

Goren waited in his car outside the diner, just far enough down the street to see when Hannah came out. _'This is crazy…why are you doing this?...to keep her safe.' _He debated whether he was just losing his mind or whether he was really watching out for her. He just wanted to see that she got in her car and drove off safely and he was relieved to see her do that at around 2:30. Once she was out of sight he started the car and began the drive home, mentally lecturing himself about stalking and creepy behaviour. He made a deal with himself not to do that again.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: The usual...Law & Order: Criminal Intent and all it's brilliance...it's characters, plots, production...blah blah blah...it all belongs to NBC and Dick Wolf. I'm simply having fun and none of my writing will ever compare to the show, but hey, this is fun so please don't try to sue me.

Note - now for my latest installment...hopefully this isn't too choppy and that it makes sense. If it doesn't, let me know what I can do to fix it. Again, no flames! Only polite (or constructive) criticsim is welcome.

* * *

Goren woke up exhausted. He turned off his alarm and sighed, rubbing his face. He forgot to shave the night before like he normally did. It always ensured 5 minutes that was shaved off his morning routine, which meant he could get to work quicker. He remembered the night before and smiled softly to himself. 

For a minute he just laid there, thinking about Hannah. He knew one more thing about her. She was clumsy.

It was rather cute actually. She tried to cover up the fact that she was embarrassed by smiling; yet at the same time it was a way of showing that she wasn't uptight about her clumsiness.

Despite how nervous and self-conscious he felt around Hannah, her anxiousness and now, her gracelessness did put him at ease a little bit.

For once in a very long time, he felt motivated. He got up, went into the living room and moved all the boxes off his treadmill. Goren set the machine, and ran for ten minutes before hopping into the shower.

* * *

Goren went through some files. He moved a stack of files from one spot on his desk to another, grabbed the one on top and started sifting through it. His eyes scanned the pages seriously, looking for even the smallest of notations about what Hannah had told him the night before. 

"What is it we're looking for?"

"In the notes…uh…her lawyer…" Goren flipped through Hannah's file. "No see? It's not there."

"What isn't?"

"Uh…there should be…some mention of it…t-that her husband was…disloyal." He started going through another file.

"How do you know he cheated? It doesn't say this anywhere."

"Uh…Hannah…I uh…spoke to her."

Eames raised her eyebrows seriously. "You did?"

"Just…" He avoided her gaze and waved his hands as if that would explain for him. "At work…b-briefly." It was a little too quiet so Goren lifted his head. He could tell what she was thinking. He glanced at her guiltily. "Eames."

She hardly approved. "No Bobby, you know better. We're still investigating and after what happened last time I thought you'd be a little more careful."

_'You don't get it at all!'_ Goren thought panicked. How could she try to make him feel guilty for feeling what he did for Hannah? It was nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, considering how little he tended to connect with people, he thought Eames would look past the bureaucracy and allow him the small joy of simply speaking with her. _'Is it really so wrong?'_ "She's got an alibi and you said it yourself you don't think she did it!" he snapped.

She pursed her lips together. "That doesn't mean she doesn't know anything. You know how these things work. Hannah does have a couple connections to the victims. She might know something about the case without realizing it. We have to treat her as a potential witness. You know that."

Goren lowered his head, feeling horrible. He fidgeted with some of the papers. She was right whether he liked it or not. Until the case was closed they weren't supposed to socialize with those they were investigating or anyone involved in one way or another to the case, and that included Hannah. The only exception for that was when his superiors knew about it and it was to get information vital for the case, or for a confession. He was getting too emotionally involved. But how exactly could he distance himself? More importantly, did he even want to? Was the case more important than his own feelings?

* * *

A couple days later… 

Hannah wrapped her hair up in a towel and pulled on her housecoat. She went up to the door across from the bathroom and knocked on it. "Time to get up!" She went to the door next to it and peered inside, checking on Noah. He was still asleep so she shut the door and went back to her room and got changed and dried her hair.

When she was done she went back to Max's room and banged on the door. "I'm opening the door in five…four…three-!"

The door swung open. "I'm up." Max glared miserably at her, rubbing his eyes.

They went through this routine practically every day.

Hannah went downstairs and cut up some apple slices and poured a couple bowls of cereal so that Max could shave a couple minutes off his trip to school. Since she had the week off to look after Noah, she was able a little time to herself. Mostly she took a few naps to recharge her battery.

Once Max was gone she sat down on the couch with her thick spiralled purple notebook and started scribbling thoughts and observations down in the first section, which had a black tag on it. Afterwards she went onto the next section of the notebook which was the brainstorming part. Then, she went onto the blue section, which was where her stories were in the process of being written. The notebook itself was her 'bible', a collection of anything she might want to use for a story or novel one day.

She had variations of it, several in fact, having started it when she was a kid. Unfortunately she rarely had time to use the ideas and make anything of them, at least not as often as she'd like.

Once, just after her parents had died, Hannah had fantasized about becoming a famous novelist and pulling herself out of poverty to become a national icon. One such ridiculous daydream included a big opera gown, a public reading of the book, and thousands of people moved to tears.

Now of course she thought the idea was completely insane and no part of her wanted that. She would settle for even 1 person outside of her family to read her stories and love them. That, and if possible, just enough money to pull her out of her financial ruins.

Thankfully, Hannah was lucky enough to get it both ways. She published 1 short story every month and got a little money for it. It wasn't a lot. In fact it was very little, but the publications gave her confidence and a little encouragement. She was hopeful that if she put in the time and effort, she could write a novel. Then, when the time came, she might have a chance at getting it published.

* * *

Goren hung up the phone. "Miss Woodrow's husband had a drinking problem…it wasn't in the file." 

Eames raised her eyebrows, the phone glued to her ear, on hold. "Someone tampered with the files to make sure the husbands had a good chance of winning."

"We're missing something…" Goren flipped through a couple of his notes.

Ross came over and sipped from his mug. "Where are we?"

"Looks like some information from most of the files are gone but conveniently enough they were all for parties, male usually, which should have little chance to get custody of their kids. Abusive parents, dead beat dads, alcoholics, you name it it's in here."

Ross sighed. "So how many cases could we be talking about?"

"I'm running the names of the people we know so far, who were screwed in their cases and cross reference them to the murders."

Goren added. "The killer is e-escalating so it's possible she worked her way up…g-graduating…to using fire as the…m-method of...punishment."

"So what you're telling me is there're possibly _more_ victims out there?"

Goren nodded. "It's starting to look that way."

Ross sighed and took another sip of his coffee. "Let me know when you start narrowing down the suspect list." He walked away, to his office.

"I've got something." Eames announced a few minutes later. Goren got up, walked around the desk to look over her shoulder at the computer. "A divorce attorney…Pete Guthrie died almost 8 months ago…says it was a car accident but his body was burned beyond recognition…he worked for Mason & Treger…" Eames looked at Goren seriously. "The same legal office Victor Hamil worked for."

Goren grabbed his jacket and binder and they left.

* * *

"It appeared to be a routine accident. Mr. Guthrie lost control of his car and hit the median. His blood alcohol was high but still within the legal limit." 

"Witnesses?" Goren asked, bending over to check the wreckage which was still in the police impound lot.

"2. Both say Guthrie started swerving out of control and less than a minute later he crashed. The flames began pretty fast after that."

Goren crawled into the front seat and ran his hands along the surface of the steering wheel before he studied the other surfaces with his eyes. He tilted his head to the side and grabbed a metal spring from the cup holder. "Has this all been kept…the way it was?"

"Nothing's been touched."

Eames went over and looked at him curiously.

Goren held up the spring and pointed to the cigarette lighter holder. "The cigarette lighter…" He looked around and found it on the ground. He picked it up. It only peaked his curiosity.

Goren leaned over all the way and put his nose right to the floor. He sniffed for a few seconds. "It's faint…" he sat up and told his partner. "Alcohol." He pointed to the cigarette lighter holder. "It's an old car...a classic. The cigarette lighter would be in…but if this was put here…" He squished the metal spring and slid it between the thin gap of the lighter and it's holder.

"I wouldn't notice that if it were my car."

"This spring would provide just enough pressure to push the lighter out…but it would take time…"

"Guthrie was nearly home when it happened."

Goren nodded. "Coming from the bar…its location…it would have been about…fifteen minutes? Once the lighter fell…he wouldn't have had a chance. The alcohol soaked car...i-it would have gone up in f-flames."

"Causing him to veer off the road and crash."

* * *

Hannah opened up the letter marked 'Urgent' and frowned. 

"What is it?" Max asked, taking a sip from his soda. His dark brown eyes watched her concerned. He and his brother shared the same dark brown eyes as their grandfather."Nothing." She smiled, lying to him. "Just a bank statement."

He blinked unemotionally. "You promised you wouldn't lie."

"Well I…it's…you shouldn't worry about things like this." She put the paper into her purse and headed back to the living room where Noah was watching cartoons.

Max reached into her purse, took the bank form and read it. He came into the room after her. "What the hell?" He held up the form in shock. "How can he get away with this?"

"Max you shouldn't have taken that." She took the form from him angrily.

"Well aren't you going to do anything?"

"There's nothing to do." She shoved the form back into her purse and zipped it up as if that would prevent her son from snooping.

"Of course there is! Sue him!"

She rubbed her temple. "Max let it go." She went into the kitchen and took out some calamine lotion and some cotton balls then brought them over to Noah.

"Let it go? Dad has all that money and look at us!"

"We're managing. Thousands of people are starving and we're not one of them. Be grateful for what we have."

"I can't believe you!"

"What would you have me do? Sue him right? Well good luck finding a lawyer that works for free and doesn't let us get screwed over like the last one!" she shut her eyes and drew in a deep breath before opening them, forcing herself to calm down. "If we don't get the right lawyer and they see the financial problems we're having I could lose you and Noah. I'm **not** going to risk that."

Max studied his mom, not sure what he should say. He was moved that his mom couldn't lose him or his brother but he was still angry.

He stormed off, slamming his bedroom door.

Hannah put her hands on her hips and sighed, frustrated. A small whimper nearby caught her attention. She turned to see her youngest boy looking pretty upset. Noah's face was scrunched up as though he might cry. They were yelling and he didn't like when people yelled. Hannah went over, sat next to him and pulled him into a hug. "It's okay honey…you're alright." She rubbed his back soothingly. "It's okay."

* * *

The next day… 

"As far as we can tell there were 4 deaths in the last year where the victims or something they owned was burned. All 4 victims were male and recently divorced."

"All of which were…neglectful…of their c-child support…or alimony." Bobby said seriously. He fidgeted, a hint of anger in his eyes.

"Great." Ross said sarcastically. "That makes half the divorcees of New York a target."

Goren handed Ross a document. "The victims' proceedings...they were handled through Judge E-ellison's court...and M-mason & Treger legal offices."

"And that didn't send up a red flag?"

Eames shook her head. "Until recently these deaths appeared to be accidents…one, Mr. Patterson, looked like a heart attack and died with a cigarette in his hand. Half the table was on fire when his girlfriend came in and used the fire extinguisher…turns out he was given epinephrine. That's what killed him."

"You lost me. What's this drug for?"

Goren explained. "Allergies…Patterson had an a-allergy to peanuts…but he also had a recent...heart condition... A side effect of e-epinephrine is an increase...in h-heartbeat…combined with his heart condition…"

"Instant heart attack." Ross finished for him. He gave a nod. "If the victims were killed, why set the fires?"

Goren gave a nod. "Patterson was the first fire involved…we think that was accidental…but after that…small fires were set near the bodies…i-it's the killer's way of…saying, that with each death…her conviction is s-strengthening…she's fixated on the symbolism of a fire now…she likes it…sees it as…d-divine retribution...to the women scorned."

Ross blinked slowly, feeling tired all of a sudden. It was a lot to take in. "Get to the legal office. If their past clients are being murdered then it's likely others will be targets."

* * *

Goren picked up the picture on the secretary, Miss Shaw's, desk. "Cute kids. How old?" 

"9 and 11." Miss Shaw was in her early forties with thin glasses and mousey coloured hair. She smiled at Goren. "You have any detective?"

"Uh, no."

"I find that hard to believe."

Goren smirked and pointed to the little statue on her desk. It was made of dark wood, of a mother hugging a child. It was minimalist so there were no features on the people. Just simple shapes. "That reminds me…of a…Kenyan bowl a friend of mine has…is it from Africa?"

"I don't know I bought it in a flea market."

There was a beep on the phone and Miss Shaw's boss spoke over the speaker. "Sandra you can send them in now."

The detectives went into the office, walking through large mahogany doors.

"Mr. Treger?"

The sixty something year old man turned to them, adjusting his glasses. "Yes what can I do for you detectives?"

"Peter Guthrie. We need to take a look at his case files."

"Why? Peter was killed in a car accident."

"It was _no_ accident." Goren said, gravitating to the desk to look at the family photos.

"What?"

"Turns out he was murdered…now those files." Eames reminded him.

"Uh…of course." He went over to his desk and glared at Goren. Goren moved out of the way. "We had copies put onto the computer last year…" he typed in a few commands then turned the screen so they could see it more.

Goren pushed the man out of the way, not caring if he was rude or not. The man swindled women out of money and the chance to provide for their children.

"A year ago…that's when the first victim was killed."

Goren nodded and asked Treger, "who has access to the case files?"

"Well, there's…my assistant, my legal partner, Mason, and the rest of the lawyers here…and if we have problems, then the computer techs."

"We'll need a list."

"In the mean time, keep an eye out for anything…suspicious. It's possible you or someone on your staff could be a target."

Treger blinked. "Are you serious? Why would anyone want to hurt me?"

Goren fought the urge to yell at the man but didn't quite manage. "It _could_ have something to do with the f-fact that you…kick mothers when they're down…" His voice gradually became louder. "Taking advantage of their…v-vulnerability…all they wanted was a fair chance…to provide for their children and to be happy!"

Treger opened his mouth. "I…I didn't do anything illegal detective. I delegate. Now if one of my employees-"

"That's convenient isn't it?! Blame your employees for orders _you_ give them…" Goren stepped forward and got in his face. His eyes burned angrily and his lip twitched, wishing he could just let all his anger go and vent, using the man as a punching bag. He wasn't a violent man but he could make an exception just this once. "These women have their lives taken away from them...and you pretend you didn't know about it?! What kind of man are you?!"

Treger took a step back, fearing the large detective would actually hit him.

"The list Mr. Treger." Eames piped up loudly, watching Goren to make sure he didn't cross the line she knew he wanted to.

Treger returned his attention to the computer and printed out the employee list. He handed it to Eames.

Goren glared at him but refrained from doing anything stupid, then they left the office. He was pretty sure that if Eames wasn't there, he might actually have hit Treger. He wasn't so sure that was a bad thing but he did know it wasn't good either.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Dick Wolf is the genius behind Law and Order:CI, I'm not. He and NBC own it...I own nothing.

* * *

Eames talked to Stephanie Williams, a thirty two year old single mother. Silver glitter framed her eyes, drawing attention away from slight brown irises and towards her rosy cheeks. More glitter was coated over her chest in a subtle manner. It was more noticeable the more she moved. If she stood still, it was inconspicuous. 

Of course, discretion and subtly weren't words heard too often in a strip club. Goren looked around, admiring some of the scantily clad women as they walked past the detectives.

"Murdered? Guthrie?" Stephanie pulled off her blond wig off, revealing some light brown hair cut in a short bob. "Can't say I'm surprised." She grabbed makeup remover and dabbed it on a cotton swab.

"Why's that?"

Goren hugged his binder and listened to what Stephanie was saying. His eyes wandered as a twenty something red head walked by, but quickly he diverted his attention back to Stephanie. She wiped the glitter and eye shadow from her face. "That son of a bitch left me with nothing." She turned to the detectives. "My husband and I were married ten years…had 3 kids together and he just bails, emptying out our bank accounts. I tried bank loans, borrowing money from friends…I couldn't scrape enough together to pay my mortgage. I was working as a teacher back then…so I tried to do extra tutoring and got a second job, anything to get more cash…but that meant putting my kids in daycare. It just got too expensive. _This_ was the only job I could get that paid any of my bills." She threw the cotton swab onto the counter and took the few bobby pins from her hair and dropped them into the little dish on the table. "Like showing my ass to a bunch of pervs is how I want to spend my life…did you know that bastard Guthrie ruled against my ex paying any child support? He actually made the argument that this 'fabulous' job pays more than enough for my mortgage, food and anything else I need…I just couldn't believe the judge okayed it. I wanted to punch his face in."

Goren fidgeted. "W-where were you t-the night he was…killed?"

"Here, where else?" She paused. "Look, I may have wanted him dead, and maybe I wish I had seen his ass go up in flames, but I didn't kill him. I wouldn't waste my time."

Goren and Eames exchanged a look. Goren glanced at Stephanie again. He gave a small nod. "Uh…t-thank you."

She faked a smile and went over to her locker as the detectives left.

"I get the feeling this is going to take awhile."

"Crooked judges…manipulative lawyers…probably e-everyone on our l-list wanted them dead."

* * *

Later that afternoon... 

The number above the doorway switched from 23 to 24. A small _bing_ rang out and let them know they just passed another floor. Goren fidgeted. He anxiously waited to see what might happen once they would reach the 37th floor. His curiosity was getting the better of him and he very much wanted to see this man he already knew more than enough about. But, at the same time he dreaded this confrontation.

As soon as the elevator doors opened, he stepped out and walked quickly up to the secretary's desk. He smiled at her, not needing to flash his badge since it was clipped to his coat. "Hi. We're here to see Jake Moore."

"Oh, he's in a meeting right now."

"That's okay. We don't mind." He walked past her, going up to the double doors.

"Hey you can't go in there!"

Goren pushed open the doors and looked around as he entered. "Wow, this is a BIG office!" he pointed at Jake, whom he recognized from his photo, ignoring the three other men in the office with him. "Is _this_ where all your lapsed child support is going?"

"Excuse me, what is this? I'm in a meeting." Jake got to his feet, annoyed.

"I'm sorry sir they just-"

Eames identified themselves and 'suggested' the clients make a new appointment. The men got up and glanced at Jake uneasily. "Uh…we'll talk about this later." They left, casting glances at each other, wondering if they should find a new lawyer.

"What's this about?" Jake asked angrily, going over to his desk and dropping his portfolio on the table.

"Murder." Goren stated and pointed at the desk. "Is that marble?"

"Yes, it was imported from Morocco."

Goren smiled. "I'll bet that cost a pretty penny."

"$12,000...it's some of the finest quality marble money can buy."

Goren whistled. "That's almost as much as my last car." He went over and took a look at some of the photos. "Are these your kids?"

"Yeah…my boys."

"They're adorable…" Goren picked up a foldable picture frame and faked a smile, pretending to know nothing of the boys. On one side it had a picture of Noah and the other, one of Max. "Uh…this one…h-he's how old? Ten?"

"The picture's a little old…he just turned 13 in November."

Goren frowned, showing Eames the photo briefly before setting it down. Noah was only about 6 months in it. "Actually, Max just turned 14 and Noah's 3 now…but you would have known that if you actually…s-saw them once in awhile."

Jake glared at Goren. "I'm busy a lot…now what's this about? You said a murder?"

Eames nodded. "You may have something in common with the murder victims…it's possible you could be a target."

"Someone wants me dead? Why?"

"The way you treat…" Goren fought to keep from attacking the man. He pictured Hannah and how sweet she was and how devoted a mother she was. _He_ would never treat her that way and he hated that she had to put up with Jake and will continue to do so, for their kids' sake. "Your ex-wife…and your children…like they're a commodity…fruitless objects you can just _pick_ _up_ whenever you feel like it." He spat, disgusted.

"Hey, you don't know anything about me!" Jake raised his voice, starting to really hate the detective.

"I know enough!" Goren took a form from his binder and slammed it on the table. "Look familiar? It says you've only been paying 4 months child support out of the year..." He waved his hand around as he spoke. "A-and you weaseled your way...out of alimony…how exactly is Hannah supposed to pay her bills?...support _your_ children?!"

"Hannah?" Jake asked quietly, puzzled as to why Goren used a first name and why he said it the way he did. Goren towered over him by a good 4 inches but he wasn't intimidated.

"You cheated on her…" He felt his anger rising. How anyone could cheat on someone who was so loving was beyond him. "…then you neglect your child support…_that's_ why you're a target!"

Eames stepped forward seriously, not liking how angry her partner got in situations like this. "You hired Victor Hamil for your divorce. He was killed a few days ago…it's looking like some of his clients have also been killed."

"Okay, so what do I do?"

"If you're especially worried about your safety you could request police protection…but there are a fair number of potential victims so otherwise you'll just need to keep an eye out for anyone suspicious…and if you see or hear anything…give us a call." Eames gave him her card, which was probably a first, but she knew her partner wasn't thinking of Jake's safety at the moment.

"I still don't get it…so I didn't pay a few bills…my ex wife has 2 jobs and she still lives in that house. If she's not making enough she could just move."

"And uproot M-max from his friends?...M-make him switch schools?" Goren's eyes narrowed. "Hannah can't have much time to sleep…she sacrifices her own happiness…and her health for her children. She's been nothing but w-wonderful…to...her family…unlike _you_."

No one could ever accuse Jake of being stupid or naive. He picked up on the tone in Goren's voice which softened when he spoke of his ex wife. He smirked. "My god…you're in love with her aren't you?"

Goren flinched and looked down, guiltily and self-consciously, suddenly feeling exposed. He fidgeted and shifted his feet. If he actually blushed he would be doing that right about now. It was no one's business but Goren's and he knew just how ridiculous it sounded, to have already fallen in love with a woman he barely knew. But like he always said, love was irrational.

Jake smiled, crossing his arms. "Do yourself a favour…give it up. You're wasting your time with her. She's locked at the knees."

Goren grabbed him and shoved him against the shelf. "Don't!" He clenched his fists, his eyes burning into Jake's. If looks could kill his would have. He pressed his arm hard across Jake's chest. "Don't talk about her like that!"

"Bobby!" Eames yelled louder. "Bobby!"

Goren drew in a deep breath and let go of Jake then stepped back. He took another deep breath, grabbed his binder off the desk and stormed off. Eames followed him out of the room but waited until they were down the hall to say anything. "What the hell are you doing? Bobby you can't just-"

"I know!" Goren stopped and rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm sorry I…I didn't mean…" he sighed and rubbed his face.

"I know he's an ass but you've got to control yourself. If you can't…" She sighed. "Then maybe you shouldn't be on this case." He looked at her alarmed. Eames quickly added. "I would never go the captain…but you can't let this happen again."

He looked away and nodded. "It won't." Eames studied him doubtfully. She wondered if he really would be able to prevent his personal feelings from interferring with the case. For a second she thought that maybe going to the captain would be best, but the moment passed. She decided to go with her gut and to trust her partner.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: See every other disclaimer I wrote...

* * *

When Goren woke the next morning, something felt off. It was in the air. He thought he was imagining things but while he ran another ten minutes on the treadmill, he couldn't help but feel as though a dark cloud was floating over him. 

He got to work a half hour before everyone else, just like most days. Once other officers started showing up, the dark cloud burst. Ross marched into the squad room, his brief case in hand, still wearing his dark coat. "Goren. My office. _Now_."

Goren looked at him puzzled. Ross' tone left no room for debate. He noticed Eames head towards her desk, carrying a tall coffee. It was then he realized what Ross was upset about. _Someone_ had filed a complaint about him.

Goren stood up and started over to the captain's office. Eames looked at him curiously, putting her drink down on her desk and taking her jacket off.

Ross stood in the doorway of his office, letting Goren pass him. "Eames."

She headed over and started to get a bad feeling when Ross waited to shut the door behind her. Normally they either left the door open or shut the doors themselves.

"Have a seat." Ross sat behind his desk. Goren adverted his eyes, not wanting to look the man in the eye. Nothing needed to be said, he was already ashamed of himself. Ross chose his words carefully. "This morning I got a phone call…do you know what it was about?" He asked rhetorically. "A certain detective of mine is accused of attacking someone yesterday…now, I don't know what you were _trying_ to do detective, but we do things by the book."

"Captain I-" Goren tried to explain.

"I'm not finished." Ross warned. "Detective Goren…do you know how close to being fired you were? If I hadn't managed to convince my superiors that you're working through some personal issues as a result of your mother's death, you wouldn't have a job." He sighed, frustrated more than angry. He knew Goren was strange but he doubted the detective ever wanted to hurt anyone.

Eames piped up. "Captain. Bobby never hit him."

Ross studied her. "Then what did happen?"

Eames kept her mouth shut.

Goren sighed. "I s-shoved him…but, he was…f-fine."

"Well that apparently doesn't matter. This Jake Moore is pressing charges…so, that means I have no choice but to put you on a temporary suspension."

Goren's eyes widened. "Suspended?" He asked incredulously.

"Technically it's not a suspension. I managed to convince my superiors that you need some time to deal with a family death. However that still means you need to take a few days." Ross warned him. "It's not going to be on the record as a suspension. Just a leave of absence."

"Ah come on Captain I never even hit him!"

"That's not the point! You stepped out of line and you have to take responsibility for that. Now unless you want to lose your job you'll do as I say and pray we can clear this whole mess up!"

Goren shut his mouth, feeling like a little boy being reprimanded by his teacher. He was right. He knew that but didn't want to even think about giving in.

"Your gun and your badge detective."

Goren flinched and looked at Ross painfully, with nothing but sadness in his eyes. "My badge?"

"You'll get them back when this matter's cleared up." Ross said calmly, reassuring Goren that he didn't really want to fire him.

Goren glanced at Eames uneasily. She simply gave him a sympathetic look. He reached for his belt and unhooked the gun and holster, along with his badge. He put them on the desk and got up.

"Detective, you do have a job to come back to."

He wasn't listening to Ross, or whatever it was Eames said to him as he left. Eames hurried after him and caught up with him when he was at his desk. Goren grabbed his coat. "Bobby, this is only temporary, you know that right?"

He shot her a look. "T-this is their chance to…to get rid of me. They finally have a…a real excuse." He shook his head and left.

"Bobby-" Eames started after him. He held up his hand, avoiding her gaze, showing he didn't want to talk about it and he wanted to be left alone.

Eames watched him go and sighed. "All this over a girl."

* * *

Hannah leaned against the side of the couch, her legs curled under her comfortably. Noah laid against her, sucking his thumb, his arm snaked around a stuffed fluorescent red Tyrannosaurus Rex with a fluorescent blue stomach. They were watching the cartoon classic 'Robin Hood'. 

Max came down the stairs and entered the living room, pulling off his glasses. He rubbed his eyes. "I'm hungry. What's for dinner?"

"I don't know, you're making it."

He turned to her. "What?" He asked less than thrilled. His meals were always simple. Mac N' Cheese, chicken, hotdogs, burgers, anything that didn't take very long. Still, he hated to cook. "But you're _supposed_ to tell me when I get home so I don't-" He started to whine.

"Money's in my purse." She fought a smile.

He flinched then smiled. "Excellent." He turned around and started flipping through the half dozen delivery menus inside a little magnetic holder on the fridge. "Mexican?" He asked, going over to the phone and picking it up.

"Sure, you have the list?"

"Yep." He dialled the number then flipped the menu over. It had their favourite orders scribbled on a post-it note, taped to the back.

After they got the food and finished eating, Hannah and Noah returned their attention back to the movie. Max went upstairs to his room. A few minutes passed before he started down the stairs, carrying his laptop. It was about 4 years old, outdated, and had little memory left on it. The letters and numbers on all the keys were worn off. Every so often he tried to recalibrate the computer and add more memory or more power to it, but there was only so much a boy could do. Even one as smart as him. Still, he was going to make another attempt.

The doorbell rang before Max reached the bottom of the stairs. He went up to the door and answered it. "Oh." He studied Goren suspiciously through a space in his messy hair.

"Hi." Goren smiled, kneading his hands together. He was wearing a pair of jeans, a black sweater and his black leather jacket. He had a little more stubble than normal.

"Who is it?" Goren could hear Hannah in the next room.

Max stepped aside, letting him in then shut the door before walking through the living room. "That cop." He headed for the dining room.

Goren followed Max into the living room. "Hi."

Hannah smiled, running her fingers through the sides of her hair before getting up. Noah readjusted himself and laid down. "Hi." When she was standing Goren got a good look at her. She had on a lime green t-shirt with a cartoon of a woman puckering up at a booth and the words at the top read 'kissing booth'. She had on a black canvas skirt that came to her knees, and knee highs that were lime green and black stripes with toe socks.

Goren smiled and pointed at her feet. "I like your socks."

"Thanks, so do I." She smiled warmly.

He bent over to look Noah in the eyes. He smiled. "Hi there…I'm Bobby."

Noah smiled and gave a little wave with his right hand, refusing to take the thumb from his mouth.

Goren stood up straight, turned and pointed at Hannah. "C-could I talk to you? Alone?"

She nodded and glanced at Max. "If you need me I'll be out front." She slipped on her boots quickly and grabbed her jacket before leaving.

They just went out on the stairs leading to the Brownstone. "What can I do for you?" Hannah asked pleasantly.

"Uh…well…" Goren fidgeted and rubbed the back of his neck. "I sort of need to…" he sighed, rubbing his face. "I saw your ex husband yesterday."

Her smile faded. "Oh."

"For work…I uh…I just wanted to explain…"

"Explain?" She asked confused.

He shifted his feet, looking down. "I…lost my temper…" He lifted his head a little, worried about her reaction. "I…uh…I've been…'encouraged' to take a few days off…because of what I did…"

"You beat him up?" She asked surprised.

"No…" his head bobbed a little. "I...I p-pushed him…but he didn't get hurt." _'Like that really makes a difference.'_

"Okay…so…why would you tell your boss about…oh…" She blinked, frowning. "He pressed charges?"

Goren looked down at his feet again.

Hannah sighed. "I'm sorry."

He met her gaze. "Y-you're not…upset?"

"He probably deserved it…and its not a big deal. Well, it shouldn't be." She sat on the small brick balustrade, or wall rather, and swept some hair from her face. "I'm sorry that he pressed charges." She paused. "What did he say?"

"Say?" Goren blinked, a little relieved.

"He must have said something to make you upset."

"Oh." Goren fidgeted for a second before going over and sitting next to her on the wall. He couldn't tell her the real reason he had reacted to Jake. The man's complete disrespect had pissed him off but Goren didn't want to have to explain the specifics. He thought best to tell her only part of the truth. "Uh…when I was 11…m-my dad…he left…I get a little…" he let the sentence die. He didn't know what else to say and it was getting a little hard to breathe.

Hannah sighed and put her hand on his. Goren looked at her hand, feeling tingles, his heart raced more and it was even harder to breathe. He lifted his head and met her gaze. Her eyes may have been the most beautiful colour of green he had ever seen but he also couldn't recall ever seeing eyes so full of warmth in all his life.

"You're a good man." She didn't remove her hand.

He could feel his resolve weaken. His job, hell his position in life was thankless. He had been the good son and the devoted cop. It took a lot of time and energy and where had it gotten him? The decision on his suspension was pending, only due to the fact that he had lost his mother recently. He was sure Ross, whether he decided it on his own or someone decided for him, would put him either out of work or on a long-term suspension while IA considered what to do with him. Neither option was particularly appealing.

A small gust of wind blew Hannah's hair back slightly. When it passed, a strand of hair fell in front of her face.

Goren reached up and tucked it behind her ear. It was reflex mostly. He saw her do it once already today, but the truth was he didn't know why he did it. He was compelled to and he was not at all sorry. It was the first time he got to feel her hair and her ear. It was a small joy but he appreciated it anyways.

Hannah's hair was silky and very soft. He wondered if she used any product to make it that way or if it was natural. But then, she was natural in many ways. It seemed she didn't wear makeup all that often, nor did she need it. He concluded she probably did without excess hair products. As for her ear, Goren realized how small and round they were. Noah's ears were exactly the same, and Max...well who knew what his hears looked like under all that hair?

He blinked, realizing what he did and how improper, considering his position, it was. Goren watched her surprised and embarrassed.

Hannah smiled, her eyes narrowing slightly as they often did when she laughed or grinned. Just slightly though. "I'm told I make really horrible coffee but if you want to come in…I could make you some…or maybe even some hot chocolate? I have the kind with the little marshmallows."

Goren smiled, feeling as though his heart was melting. "Only for a minute."

They stood up and went inside.

He stayed for about twenty minutes, just long enough to slowly sip the drink with her. Any longer and it would be inappropriate. He kept telling himself that. He was still aware of the rules when fraternizing with potential witnesses and he felt a little guilty for everything he had done so far. He knew that anything else he could or would do, he would only feel guilty for later.

It was short, but it almost felt like a date. Or it would have if Hannah's boys weren't within their line of sight. Still, it was nice. Goren didn't mind the boys around. In fact, it helped. They were buffers and made sure that the two adults couldn't take their relationship further. He doubted very much that he'd be able to prevent himself from kissing her otherwise.

Once he left, Hannah shut and the locked the door behind him. She leaned against it seriously. She knew Bobby cared for her and her feelings for him where much stronger than that. Years of marriage to her ex hadn't even produced some of the emotions she felt for the detective. She couldn't let his life be ruined by her good for nothing ex.

* * *

Hannah paced anxiously in the waiting room outside the office and tried to breathe. If this didn't go as planned then she didn't know what she would do. 

"Miss Winters, you may go in now."

Hannah drew a deep breath and approached the large doors. She pulled one open and stepped into the office.

Jake flipped through some papers and looked up, unsurprised by her entrance as she was announced a minute before. "What now?"

She tucked her hair and stepped forward. She took a deep breath. "It's about detective Goren."

Jake smirked. "Yeah what about him?"

"I want you to drop the charges."

"Now why would I do that?" Jake put the papers down and sat back in his chair.

"It's not going to get you anywhere…he didn't hurt you. Why would you want to press charges?"

"He came in here and embarrassed me in front of my clients. Next time maybe he'll think twice."

"Come on you don't think I really believe that? Since when do you care about being embarrassed?" She studied him. "What did you say that set him off anyways?"

Jake sat down and put his feet up on the table, smirking, pleased with himself. "Just how you'll never sleep with him."

"What?"

"Yeah, for a detective you think he'd be faster on the uptake…how anyone would think you're anything but a prude I'll never know."

"This…this is about me?"

"I can't have people thinking I'll _allow_ someone to push me around can I? I thought it was time to make an example of someone."

"And you chose Bobby?"

He smiled. "Bobby…so you are into him? Wow…isn't that going to be awkward when his boss finds out he assaulted his girlfriend's ex-husband…"

"Stop it." She walked right up to the desk. "What do you want?"

"Why would I want something?"

"Jake! Tell me what it is you want!" She glared at him.

He looked her over and smirked. He gave a little shrug. "I have an hour before my meeting…and I'm sure you'd like get those cobwebs out from between your-"

She furiously swung her arm to slap him but Jake caught her wrist. He laughed and shook his head. "Nice, you're really improving." She had slapped him once and that was the day she had found him in bed with another woman. It didn't really help.

Hannah pulled her arm away. They were both quiet for a minute. She broke the silence, wondering if there really was a way for Jake to change his mind. "Jake…_please_. He's a good man he doesn't deserve this. Please drop the charges and make it like they never existed…bury this."

"Even if I could-"

"You can, you can speak to your friend in the mayors' office, Eddie. He must know how to do this…make it look like you were overreacting, or _something_. Please, you've got to drop this!"

"Well…there is _one_ thing I'm interested in."

She blinked, waiting for a response. "Well? What is it?"

"The clock."

"What clock?"

"You know which one…the grandfather clock."

"But…that's just an old clock that's been in my family for years…why do you still want it?"

He smiled. "It's an antique. I had it appraised during the divorce…it's worth almost $5,000…that's all what I want…besides I know it means something to you."

She blinked. "What? And…and you didn't tell me? Jake I needed that money!"

He shrugged, faking innocence. "I don't know what to tell you…except that it's mine now."

"No, Jake…still…it's my father's you can't-"

"Do you want your _friend_ to lose his job?"

She closed her eyes, feeling sick to her stomach. Hannah nodded and opened her eyes. "Okay…fine." She could never forgive herself if Goren lost his job because of her. It just wasn't right nor was it fair.

"Write me a cheque." He pointed to her purse. "It's up to you to sell it and have the money in your account by the end of the week. If it's not there then I'll claim he paid me a little visit and threatened my life…it won't be hard to make it look that way."

She took her chequebook out, her eyes stinging. She didn't know if it was because she was angry or because she was sad. Sometimes she cried when overcome with anger, but right now she felt both. "Bastard." She spat, throwing the check at him.

"Nice doing business with you."

"If you don't withdraw the charges and fix this then I cancel the cheque!" She yelled over her shoulder before opening the door and leaving.

Jake smiled, studying the cheque, folded it up and stuffed it in his pocket. "Too easy." He grabbed the phone and called his friend.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: Det. Goren, Eames, Captain Ross, and theme from the show Law&Order:CI belongs to NBC or Dick Wolf.

Note – I know nothing about the town of Avondale…I'm making it up.

Also, thank you to all reviewers, it's good to know people are reading and enjoying this. As you can probably tell, this is going to get pretty angsty in parts...

* * *

Goren put down the All-Seeing Eye magazine and got up from his chair. He carried his empty glass of whiskey over to the dishwasher and put it inside. He wanted to have more but he knew better. It would only end with him hunched over the toilet puking his guts out and his head feeling like it might explode. He already felt miserable and he didn't want to add to that. Three glasses of whiskey was enough. 

Suspended. Call it what they wanted, a leave of absence, or a temporary suspension it didn't matter. It was all the same. He never actually thought it would happen. Sure, it had been close on a few occasions but he'd done things much more invasive than simply pushing Jake Moore. Though, admittedly, it was a pretty stupid thing to do to a lawyer. No doubt there would be a civil suit eventually, which meant he would lose money just fighting in the court, then if he lost…well, he was a cop. He didn't make a lot.

He took a Ding-Dong from the package and went into the living room. He searched for the remote and sat down in his favourite chair. It was big and dark brown leather which was a stereotypical 'manly' chair. It was very comfortable and it did look good. It was probably one of the better pieces of furniture he had in his apartment.

Goren flipped the tv channels mindlessly for a minute, munching on the sugary treat. He rarely got those particular snacks but he needed the comfort food. _'Great now you're going to add pounds instead of lose pounds.' _

He settled the station on a cold case and forensic science show and thought how pathetic he was. Even during his suspension he was doing something related to his job. But he supposed it was better than anything else on tv at this hour; besides, he didn't get many channels and there wasn't a lot to choose from.

He slumped in the chair more, stuffing the rest of the junk food in his mouth. _'Hannah's not going to want someone as pathetic as me…how could she? She may like me but she doesn't know me. There's a reason no one's stayed with me longer than six months.'_

He watched the show distractedly, not even paying attention to the crime or the evidence. His thoughts were elsewhere, most especially on Hannah.

Yesterday she had invited him into her home after she knew he was off duty. That was a good sign. Except he had to leave. She might have taken _that_ as a bad sign. But then again, she had opened up to him a little more.

Goren wondered how she would react when he would tell her about his past and he wondered why she was so comfortable and care free when they had noticed her 14 yr old taking apart his laptop with a screwdriver. It was like the most natural thing in the world to her.

From what he knew of her she had taken music lessons from age 3 until age 9, as well as some art lessons. The next time she had to do with either two subjects was in middle school then high school. He didn't get a chance to find out anything more because she was asking him a lot more questions. He told her about being in the army, and discussed that for a little while. Mostly what it was like overseas, she was curious because she had only ever been two places. The small town in Rhode Island where she grew up, and New York City.

After that, he had talked to little Noah for awhile. The boy had wandered over to them and tried climbing onto his mom's lap.

It was hard not to instantly love Noah. He had big dark brown eyes that squinted in the subtle way Hannah's did when she smiled. It was the first time Goren had seen him remove his thumb from his mouth. The boy climbed onto his mom and simply held onto her, watching the detective curiously. Noah still didn't feel well, which was normal for someone with chicken pox, which tended to last about a week or two.

Max on the other hand, was quite standoffish and suspicious. However, he had remained in the next room and didn't say a word to them. Goren expected that. He admired the boy for trying to stay out of his mom's business when he clearly wanted Goren to get lost.

Max. That would be another roadblock to his quest in successfully courting Hannah. An obstacle, but at the same time he was just a confused and angry boy. Goren wanted to get to know him as well and help him, if at all possible, to let go of some of the anger the boy held in. He identified with Max and he knew that his experience with his own father could help.

Taking things easy and casual where Hannah was concerned was not an option. Things were already complicated between the two of them and he hadn't even started dating her yet.

His heart raced at the thought of her. He bet people underestimated her all the time, but he knew her to be smart. There was a whole bookshelf that she brushed off lightly about reading everything in it years ago. Some of the titles were impressive, and some weren't. Mostly they were satires and contemporary literature but there were quite a few classics mixed in it as well that he himself had read.

Hannah was also beautiful so it had to be a challenge to keep proving herself as having a brain. Her personality was 'cute' in the way that she was in many ways bubbly and sweet. That was no doubt often mistaken by some people as flakiness or immaturity. Goren knew she was hardly a flake. She was a little neurotic and anxious but she wasn't absent-minded at all. As for immaturity, that was impossible for someone years after having gotten pregnant then married at 16 and raising a family at that age, let alone for someone who grew up in an orphanage.

_'Listen to me…I barely know her…'_

Thinking back on his life, Goren knew he did a lot of the same things regarding his relationships. Too often he, in one way or another, sabotaged them. In high school it hadn't been that way, but after his girlfriend Gina had dumped him, he had trouble trusting women again.

He had dated her for four months when he was 16. She was the first person he opened up to and his first serious girlfriend. It was hot and heavy from the start. But then, one day, she had dumped him in front of her friends. He was devestated.

He had wanted to know why she was breaking up with him. Her answer was simple. She wanted someone more 'normal'. After that he closed himself off. He had several girlfriends but he never let himself feel vulnerable like that again. He didn't want to get his heart broken. Goren kept the walls up, until he moved in with a girlfriend just after joining the police force. Gradually he opened up to her and let his real self show. He told her early on about his family and for 6 months they were together, and he thought for the most part, that they were happy.

She had started to pick little fights with him in the last few weeks of their relationship and he didn't know why. He had tried his best to make things work but she hated his hours and hated the fact they rarely spent time outside their apartment. Despite the arguments, the day Goren came home and found all of her things gone had blindsided him.

He sighed and rubbed his face. Goren doubted he had much of a chance with Hannah. Why would she object herself or her kids to a relationship that was doomed to fail just like every other relationship he had?

He wallowed in self pity for awhile before he realized he missed taking his four o'clock pill due to the drinks he had. He got up and went into the kitchen to take another pill to numb away his feelings again.

He sat back in front of the tv and did a nice impression of a zombie. Zoning out, he got lost in his own thoughts. The phone rang and snapped him out of it. He let the machine get it and heard Eames' concerned voice being recorded but tuned it out immediately. He didn't want to hear it. He just wanted to be left alone.

Unfortunately, his mind wandered to his mother and his brother again. It made him feel like he was being pulled in different directions and the more he thought about his family the more he felt like he was drowning. He tried focussing on Hannah but after a few minutes his mind slipped back to his problems with his brother and his mother's recent passing.

* * *

Hannah hung up the phone and sighed. There were just too many phone calls today. She hated that part of her job. She stood up and typed a few things into the computer. It shut itself down as she grabbed her coat from the back of her chair. A knock on the door caught her attention. 

She looked up expecting to see anyone but him. "Bobby?"

Goren smiled sheepishly, stuffing his hands into his pockets. He had watched her for a minute before knocking. He had debated all day about seeing her but when it came down to it he knew she could make him feel better. He had to see her.

Hannah hadn't a clue that he was there, she was so distracted. He stepped into the room and gave a little shrug. "Is it too late…for a tour?"

Her lips curled up into a smile. She had intended on leaving early to rush home and be with her son, still worried about him and the chicken pox. He was fussy and whiney and something told Hannah the sitter wouldn't like watching him one bit. But, she supposed leaving a few minutes later couldn't hurt. "Nope." She grabbed her purse and stepped around from the desk.

Goren went up to her, took her jacket and held it open for her.

Hannah turned around, a little surprised at the chivalry. It was the first time any man had ever done that for her. She liked how gentlemanly and sweet it was. She slipped into the jacket and turned around to face him. "Thank you."

He gave a nod and motioned to the door. "L-ladies first."

She led the way. They wandered around indoors at first. "It hasn't been cleared up yet?" Hannah started to get worried that her ex was going to back out on their deal. If he did she only had a couple days to cancel the check she wrote him.

"N-no…but…t-there is a lot of…politics…involved." Goren said hopefully. He didn't want his suspension to last any longer than it had to but he liked to think paperwork was the only thing slowing down the process. "A few more days…I think…then maybe…"

"I really am sorry. I wish I could do something."

"It's…it isn't your fault."

It sure felt like it was. Hannah sighed. "You don't deserve this."

He studied her for a few seconds then tore his eyes away from her and cleared his throat. "Do you ever…" he motioned to the flowers around them. "Help with the…the husbandry?"

"No, but my friend Claire does…she's taught me a few things…and I used to be pretty good with our garden back in Avondale."

"You had a house there?"

She nodded. "It was small but that was when Max was young. We didn't really need the space."

"Why New York? Coming from a small town to…here. Generally people do that in s-search of…fame…or fortune."

"We came so Jake could go to school." She adjusted her purse.

"Y-you deserve better."

She studied him for a second and continued on, not really sure what to say to that. Goren stopped in front of a rose bush. He carefully reached in and plucked a red rose from it. He pulled off the thorns and leaves. He turned to Hannah, smiling and gave it to her.

Hannah smiled and felt her cheeks blush. She took the rose and tried to breathe. She opened her mouth to thank him but nothing came out. She didn't care that he didn't pay for the rose or that they weren't allowed to steal any from the gardens. It was sweet. Probably the sweetest thing any man had done for her.

Jake didn't even know the meaning of the word romantic and the few men she had dated since him acted with such false sincerity that she couldn't find anything they did sweet.

Pleased with her reaction, Goren smirked and walked through the glass doors outside, holding it open after him. Hannah walked through and couldn't help but become aware of how beautiful it was outside. The water in ponds was frozen over and a thin layer of ice covered the trees from the previous night's rain. It snowed lightly down upon them.

Goren let the door shut after her. He offered her his arm.

Hannah linked her arm in his and continued the tour. After a little while, they arrived at the Japanese gardens. "I'm not sure what it means exactly but I've noticed minorities tend to like this better than some of the other-" her foot slipped on some ice. She gasped and stumbled.

Goren caught her against his chest. "Are you okay?"

She started giggling and looked up at him. "Sorry."

He grinned at her and just watched her for a few seconds, tilting his head. For a second she had trouble containing her laughter but it died down and she settled into a smile. A very beautiful and warm smile. Goren's smile faded and he studied her intently. His heart raced and the pull in his gut was stronger than ever.

Hannah's cheeks warmed again as her smile faded.

He cupped her face and watched for any signs of hesitance but saw none. Then he leaned down and kissed her. At first he started with a gentle kiss; but, after a few soft pecks on her lips, he deepened it. Hannah stood on her tip toes and rested her hands on his biceps. One hand holding onto the rose he gave her.

He let his lips caress hers, a powerful wave of passion taking over. His heart felt like it might explode; yet at the same time it felt warmer, and lighter. He could kiss her forever. The kissed deepened even more and Goren took a step closer. He slipped an arm around her waist. Hannah swooned, feeling weak in the knees.

Finally, he drew from the kiss. He shuddered, already going through withdrawal from her sweet lips. They were softer than the petals on the rose he gave her.

Hannah lowered herself to the flats of her feet and drew in a deep breath to still the dizziness.

He needed her lips, her kiss, and the feel of her warm body against his. Goren pulled her into another kiss. Hannah slipped her arms around his neck and moaned against his lips, bending to his will. They shared another long passionate kiss that left them gasping for air.

Goren smiled and stroked her cheek with the back of his hand. He didn't want to forget this moment. After a minute, he leaned down for another kiss.

His cell phone rang. Goren stopped. Their lips were an inch apart. He sighed but didn't move.

"Robert?"

The phone rang again. "Just…" He drew back and took out his phone. "Goren….captain? What…n-no…no that's…uh…w-why…no…uh, thank you." He smiled. "Y-yeah…see you…tomorrow." He hung up and fidgeted. "Uh…that was m-my boss…"

"You've been reinstated?" She asked hopefully.

"Yeah…how did…?"

"The look on your face." She smiled and kissed him softly. "I'm happy for you."

He shifted his feet and rubbed his neck, then his face. "Uh…we should…about that…um…until I'm done the case…I shouldn't really…we shouldn't...protocol..."

"Oh. Right." She tucked her hair behind her ear. "That's okay. We'll just wait until you solve the case then." One thing she loved about him, as far as she could tell, was how he seemed to always try to do what was right.

"A-are you sure?

She nodded. The last thing she wanted was to complicate things more, or to Goren in a bad position with work. He smiled, tilting his head again and hoped they could figure out the case soon.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: Do I really need to say anything else? See previous disclaimers.

* * *

4 days later… 

Hannah frowned at her schedule for the millionth time. It was hung up next to the kitchen there in the diner. It was horrible but she had requested more hours because she needed the money more now than ever. The clock she had sold was only $4500 so she needed to make up for that. And to top it off, her car broke down…again. To pay for repairs she had to take extra shifts.

It was clear to her that Jake wouldn't pay child support any time soon, and the court orders never did anything. So, she was working at the diner from 7pm to 2:30am, 7 days a week. That meant she wouldn't have their family dinners together nor their weekly Sunday evening family's night. Usually they tried to go out somewhere fun as well as to a dinner. Nothing expensive. It was one of the few things she didn't waver on with their budget.

Now she had no choice. She forced a pleasant smile on her face and decided that she would do whatever she could to get more tips since that's how she would pay the neighbours to check up on her kids.

She took the plates and brought them over to a table. She didn't hear the bell ring, indicating the door opened for a customer.

Goren watched Hannah seriously. She looked exhausted and though it was barely noticeable, she walked with a slight limp. He had desperately wanted to see her, to make an excuse to talk to her, but for a real reason. He didn't want to push his professional boundaries anymore than he already had. However, now he had another reason to see her. The case was ongoing and they were narrowing down the suspect pool but it was slow. It was frustrating because he just wanted things resolved so he could be free to see Hannah whenever, and in whatever capacity he wanted. Not only that, he generally had a better idea of the killer by now. There were just too many women who had to deal with ex husbands who were dead beat dads and the list of suspects was still around 12 people at this time.

He went over and sat down in the same booth as last time and waited.

Hannah grabbed a couple plates off the table and accidentally knocked over a glass. It fell to the floor and smashed.

Goren inwardly sighed, feeling bad for her. He got up and hurried over. "Let me help with that."

She looked at him surprised. "Bobby? What…you don't have to it's fine."

"No I want to." He smiled and started scooping up pieces of glass. Once they were all swept up Hannah brought the empty plates to get washed. When she turned around she nearly walked right into him. Goren was studying the work schedule on the wall. He glanced at her sideways. "You've been working these hours? On top of the work at the gardens?"

She nodded, turning away, tucking her hair behind her ear. "It's no big deal."

"Ten hours at the gardens, eight here…the commutes, time for meals, getting ready in the morning, getting the kids ready. You're getting what…2 hours asleep each night?"

"It's really not a problem." She grabbed the coffee pot and tried to move past him.

He blocked her and leaned to his side slightly. "You're exhausted. Take a break."

"I've only been working for a couple hours…besides if I work straight through I can get home earlier." She pushed him aside and started serving people some coffee.

Goren studied her then decided to sit back down in the booth he was at before and let her come to him. She did. He just ordered a cup of coffee.

"Hannah." He grabbed her wrist as she was about to walk away. "I need to talk to you about something."

"I'm sorry I just don't have time…" she sighed. "Well…I'll have to wait for a cab when my shifts over but that's too late…you could try to catch me tomorrow-"

"T-tonight's fine. There's some files...research...I have to go through...I'll be up late."

"I really don't expect-" She really did want to see him but she felt on the verge of a breakdown. Her neck was sore from looking down all the time to take the orders, her back and feet killed from wearing the torture devices called high heels, and she felt like she was walking in a haze due to the lack of sleep. She was also pretty sure she looked like death.

"I know. It's okay…and this way I can give you a ride home…s-save you on the cab fare."

She blinked at him. He was offering to drive her home? She didn't know what to say, or think. It was possible he could be simply trying to appear like a nice guy, just as the others had, trying to get into her bed. But she doubted it. "Are you sure? I mean, I don't want you to feel obligated, I mean if you don't want to-"

He smiled. "Really, it's no trouble."

"Okay…thanks." She smiled softly at him.

"Winters!"

They turned and saw her boss Perry, looking extremely pissed. Hannah sighed. "I have to go…I'm glad you stopped by."

He gave a nod and fidgeted. "I-I'll…see you later."

"Bye." She smiled and hurried off.

Goren watched her go, and sipped a little of his coffee, wishing he could do something for her. She was obviously struggling and by the looks of her schedule there was a bill or two that were new and unwelcome.

* * *

3:00am… 

Hannah pulled on her jacket and started to do it up. There was a knock on the door. She looked up and saw Goren standing at the door. "We're closed." The other waitress told Goren.

"No Liv, he's a friend, let him in."

Liv went over and opened the door for him. He barely acknowledged her, moving past her, towards Hannah. "I'm here, on time." He clenched and released his hands a couple times.

Hannah smiled at him weakly. Her feet hurt so much she didn't know if she could make it to his car. _'Well, he looks strong he can drag me to the car if necessary.'_ "Thanks for doing this."

"D-don't worry about it." Goren fidgeted some more, not used to being hearing the words 'thank you' very often.

She grabbed her red fake leather purse off the counter and slung it over her shoulder. "Okay I'm ready." She started to the door.

"W-will she be okay…to get home?" He motioned to the other waitress.

"Her husband's one of the chefs, Maurice…he's just cleaning up the kitchen."

He nodded and opened the door for her.

Once inside his car, Hannah let out a breath, grateful for some sort of break from standing in high heels for 8 hours straight. She was certain, if the previous day was any indication, her feet were bleeding. She had put several band aides over the blisters but that never really helped.

He studied her. "How are your feet?"

She smiled tiredly. "I could use a new pair but I'll live."

He gave a small nod and pulled on his seatbelt, glad he could do something to help her. Once they got going, Hannah asked him, "so…was it weird being back after your suspension?"

He nodded. "At first…but Captain Ross kept his word. My records show it as a leave of absence…so...only he and Eames knew...w-why I was gone."

"So it won't be in your records?"

"No…" the car pulled to a stop at a red light. He glanced at her curiously. "I can't figure out why…the charges were dropped…it doesn't…it doesn't seem like s-something your ex-husband would do…"

"Well he probably didn't think it'd benefit him to file charges…or maybe his conscience got the better of him." She smiled, inwardly thanking god that Jake came through on his side of the deal. She's been worried he'd take the money and let the charges stand. "Whatever his reason, I'm glad he dropped the charges. Jake's a jerk but he's not worth jeopardizing your career for."

The light turned green and the car started moving again. "I have…what I wanted to tell you earlier…I have a friend…a lawyer…who works child custody cases…he's agreed to come and meet with you…if that's what you want. He might be able to force Jake's hand and help make him…pay his back child support. These things in court can take a long time. He might be able to speed things along."

"Really?" She smiled.

"I can't promise anything though, but he said he'll speak with you."

She nodded, her eyes stinging. "Yes…um…yeah I'm definitely interested." She blinked, drawing in a breath, the fact that Goren cared enough to do something like this really got to her. She took another deep breath and got control of herself. "Thank you."

They talked lightly about nothing specific, but it was comfortable, like they really had known each other for a long time. Just a few minutes with her helped Goren feel better and he was grateful for any time she granted him.

When they drove up to the house, Goren parked and got out, intending to walk her right up to the door. He saw her wince. "What's wrong?"

"Hmm? Oh, nothing. I'm fine." She smiled. It was clear to him she was lying.

"No what is it?" he came around the car and frowned, seeing her having difficulty walking.

"I just have a couple blisters." She brushed it off, taking a deep breath and walking determinedly up the stairs. Goren followed, watching her feet as she walked, trying to assess how serious the pain was. "You can come in for a few minutes if you want…but just for a few minutes. I'm exhausted."

He gave a nod and followed her inside.

Hannah went into the living room and turned on the light. "You can help yourself to anything in the kitchen. I just want to-" She looked at him surprised. He was helping her with taking her jacket off. "Thanks." She blinked and turned to him. He hung up her jacket for her and she smiled softly at him. "I'm just going to check up on the boys."

He nodded and took his jacket off.

She bit her lip, making her way upstairs. She checked on the two boys. Noah was fast asleep but Max was awake in his bed, staring at the ceiling, not really even trying to get back to sleep. She knew he was concerned about her working so late. She reassured him she was fine, told him to go to sleep, then shut the door.

Hannah realized the first aide kit was in the kitchen from the last time it was used. She mentally groaned and made her way back downstairs carefully.

Goren was making some tea for them. He pointed to her feet. "Sit down and take those things off."

"I just need…" She pointed at the cupboard. "A band aide."

"Take a seat."

She sighed, tired and knew he would keep pressing the issue. She went over to the couch and sat down. Her feet felt like they were fused to the shoes and she didn't want to attempt to take them off. It might only hurt worse.

Goren came over with two cups of the tea, one for each of them. He took the mug that was shaped like Bugs Bunny's head, and gave Hannah the one that was shaped like Marvin the Martian's head.

"Thank you…this is actually my favourite Looney Tune." She blew across the top of it cup to cool down the tea. "It's my house I should be serving you."

He smiled softly and took a sip. "How are they?"

"The boys? Noah's sleeping, Max's restless. He doesn't like me working nights."

"It's not the best of ideas…you can't find another job?"

"I haven't had much time to look…besides it'll only be trading one crappy job for another…I only got my GED six years ago. When I tell employers that they just assume I was in prison or something."

He tilted his head. "You got your job at the gardens…you could find another good one like that."

"I dunno…maybe…but I had to work my way up to where I am. I started out as a part time file clerk."

Goren's mind was still somewhat on the previous statement. "What were you like in high school? A cheerleader?" She giggled, remembering her days growing up. Goren watched her surprised at first, then smiled amused. "Okay y-you weren't a cheerleader…"

"I was a complete nerd. Straight A's, well, except for math and science…but I was obsessed with reading and my violin…I had big…and I mean BIG soda bottle glasses…of course glasses back then were much less stylish and I couldn't afford the nice ones. I also had to wear second hand clothes so my fashion sense was pretty much non-existent as was my social life."

He grinned. "Well y-you couldn't have been _that_ bad…you did get knocked up."

She chuckled. "Yeah well I dated Jake a year before we finally…well…" She shook her head. "Pregnant on the first time."

He raised his eyebrows. "Really?"

"Yep…small town, raised in an orphanage with nuns who thought contraception was wrong…not that I really knew anything about that. It just wasn't a topic people talked about." She took a sip of her tea. "What about you? What were you like in high school?"

"Uh…I was…I guess…well I made trouble but I was also bored a lot. I felt I was beyond some of my teachers…not better, just..."

"You learned everything you could from them?"

He nodded.

"Max says that sometimes."

He tilted his head. "Have you thought of skipping him?"

"He has skipped…3 grades actually."

"Really?"

She nodded. "I've read everything I can about smart kids like him…and I see how he is and how people treat him. He's bored in class but the only friends he has aren't in his school because everyone's either intimidated by him or they just don't like smart kids…the studies say not to skip him because of social reasons but other studies say that doesn't change because they never fit in. I think that if I could afford it I would send him to a private school."

Goren studied her. "He's a good kid. Whatever happens, he'll be okay. He's got a good mother."

She smiled, feeling better. "Thanks...I just hate that it's difficult for him." She moved her feet slightly, wishing the pain would stop.

Goren put his drink down then took hers from her, putting it on the table next to him. "Give me your feet."

"I'm fine."

"No you're not…give me your feet. I can help."

"I'm okay. Really you don't-"

"H-have you always been this stubborn?"

She sighed, getting the distinct feeling that Goren would help her if he had to cuff her to do it. She lifted up her feet, wincing. Goren took her feet, moving her legs so she was half sitting and half laying down. He slipped her shoes off carefully.

Goren looked at her alarmed, seeing a couple of the band aides she already wore were soaked through with a few droplets of blood as well as having a couple new cuts on her feet. "Look at this!" He put her feet down. "Where's the…" He got up and started over to the cupboard she pointed to earlier. He grabbed the first aid kit and brought it over to her. "You shouldn't be on your feet if it's this bad."

She sighed. "I know…but I have to."

"Lay down."

"You don't have to, I can do this."

"No. Lay down."

She was too tired to argue. She laid down, grabbing a pillow and stuffing it under her head.

Goren opened the kit and took out the rubbing alcohol. He gently took off her bandages and started cleaning the wounds.

"I can barely look at it…it's disgusting. I don't know how you can."

He smiled, gaining a twinkle in his eye. "I've worked my share of homicides and I _was_ in the army."

Her eyelids became heavy. "Why did you leave the army?"

"Uh…well…I didn't really want…the moving around…I wanted something more…permanent…closer to home."

"Good decision." She yawned. Goren put the cotton swabs aside and took out the gauze and started to wrap it around her feet. "You have to wear better shoes tomorrow or you'll get an infection."

She sighed, blinking slowly. "I know. I could barely get those things on." Her eyelids became so heavy she couldn't keep them open.

"Your feet should be okay. I suppose you should soak them in the morning."

"Hmmm."

He studied her. She was pretty much asleep. He smiled and continued to fix up her feet. When he was done he threw out the bandages and put the first aid kit away. Goren unfolded a blanket that was hanging over the back of the couch and draped it over her then sat down and finished his tea. He watched her sleep peacefully as he sipped.

After a few minutes, he heard the creaking of the stairs and looked up. Max was coming downstairs.

Goren watched Max come into the room. The boy studied his mom for a minute then asked Goren, already knowing the answer. "You drove her home?"

He gave a nod and took another swig of his tea, finishing it. "I should get going." He pointed to Hannah's feet. "They're just blisters…n-nothing to worry too much about. Just m-make sure…she doesn't…wear those things again."

Max nodded.

Goren took the two mugs to the kitchen, dumped Hannah's tea out then put them into the dishwasher. He walked over to the entrance and grabbed his coat. As he put it on he saw Max watching Hannah anxiously.

"Lock the door…" He pointed to the small alarm box next to it. "And set this when I leave…and bring her alarm down for her so she won't miss work."

Max went over to him and nodded. Goren took his car keys out of his pocket. "Your mom…she's alright, she's going to be okay."

Max nodded again quietly. He managed a barely audible 'later' when Goren stepped outside.

Once Max locked up, he glanced out the window and watched Goren get into his car. He tried to figure the detective out.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: NBC, Dick Wolf...they are the geniuses behind Law &Order: Criminal Intent. I don't own any of that but sometimes I wish I did.

* * *

Max dropped his bag by the door and took off his jacket. He stuck his head into the living room. "Hey." 

"Hi." The sitter held her finger over her lips in an effort to tell him to keep his voice down. "Your brother's sleeping." She pointed over to a spot on the floor.

Noah had his head resting on a big teddy bear and he hugged it, sleeping peacefully. His legs were under him and his butt was up slightly in the air.

Max smiled and went over to the shelves and opened the cupboard. He took the camera out and walked up to his brother and took a couple pictures then promptly put the camera away. He wasn't even close to being as obsessive with taking family photos as his mother was; but, if he saw something funny or cute enough he'd be inspired to take the odd picture.

The front door opened and Hannah stepped into the house and shut the door behind her. When she turned around she tripped over her son's knapsack. She gasped and stumbled before regaining her balance. She sighed and picked up the bag and brought it into the living room. "Look what I found. A speed bump."

"Oh…" Max said guiltily. "Sorry."

Hannah put the bag on the end of the couch and took her jacket off. "How was Noah?" She asked the sitter.

"A little hyper." She pointed to the sleeping boy.

Hannah smiled brightly at him, putting a hand on her chest, moved at how adorable the boy was. "Good. That means he's feeling better." She then opened her purse and fished out $40 and handed it to the young woman. It was slightly less than the average rate for babysitting. The sitter gathered her things and left.

Hannah took off her coat and shoes and went into the kitchen. She pulled out the chicken from the fridge and put it on the counter. "My shift starts a little later tonight so I can have dinner with you."

Max nodded, taking a soda from the fridge. "Okay." He walked passed her. Hannah stopped him. "Hey. I feel like I haven't seen you all week…what's going on?"

He shrugged. "Nothing much."

"School?"

He shrugged again.

"Boring, kids picking on you, are you indifferent, meet anyone new, like any of your classes? Give me something here."

"Boring…except for science class. It wasn't horrible."

Hannah took out some aluminum foil and proceeded to rip several squares of the foil. "How come?"

"We went to the shop classes and we got to see what they did…'cause it was the closest thing to engineering the school has…ya know…fixing cars and stuff." He shrugged. "No big deal."

She smiled. "You know, if you want to take a shop class next year you can."

He studied her then took a sip of his drink. "I dunno."

Hannah sprinkled some of the spices on the chicken and started wrapping them up with the foil. "Could you get a pot ready for some rice?"

Max put his drink down and did as him mom requested while she put the chicken onto a sheet and started cutting up some vegetables. "Have you decided what you'll do for March break?"

"Uh…nothing?"

"No I mean…what about your friends? Are you going to do anything with them?"

"I thought I had to take care of Noah."

"I think he'll be okay at the day care. He's not contagious anymore."

He shrugged. "Ty's going to a week long training camp…for football. He wants to have a shot of getting on the team next year…and Daj…as far as I know he wasn't doing anything. He's going to call later."

Hannah nodded, taking a frying pan out and putting it on the burner. "He can come over whenever you feel like it just as long as I know where you are…and if he wants to stay over one of the nights…then that's fine too."

"Okay…maybe." He grabbed his soda and gravitated over to the tv and turned it on, lowering the volume a little to try not to wake his brother up.

A few minutes later, the phone rang. Max jumped up and hurried over to the small table in the hall and picked up the receiver. "Yeah?" He waited to hear his friend's voice. "Oh." He sighed and walked over to his mom and handed her the portable. "It's the bank."

She wiped her hands on a dish cloth and took the phone. "This is Miss Winters." She headed over to the dining room, to keep the conversation private.

Max bit the inside of his cheek. Just when he was having a good day, something like this had to happen. His mom didn't think he fully understood their financial problems but he did. Just a few weeks ago he overheard her talking on the phone with someone about some sort of assessment done on the house. All he heard his mom say was there was no difference between rent for an apartment in the school district compared to the monthly mortgage.

His mom refused to let him get a job. She had put an age limit on that, hoping he would stay a kid as long as possible. As soon as he was going to turn 15, he knew he would get a job to help out.

Still, he doubted the family was going to keep treading water that long. His mom was working herself to death and lately it seemed like babysitters and Max were the ones raising Noah. He had called his dad twice, and asked for help. It was something he never would have considered months ago but his family was in trouble and Max had to do something. His father made the usual excuses. He was too busy or he didn't have any extra money to give them. He made promises but never kept them.

It all made him angry.

Hannah hung up the phone and returned to her cooking. She noticed her son watching her. "Nothing I can't handle…could you set the table for me?"

He rolled his eyes, annoyed and went over to the cupboard and grabbed some plates. Though he pretended to have let the matter drop, he didn't. He couldn't help but picture his dad driving his black BMW convertible and going home to his $4000 a month SoHo apartment. Max could feel his anger bubble up the more he thought about it.

Once she was leaving for work, they were surprised at how hard Noah was taking her long absences.

Hannah kissed Max on the top of the head. "I love you." She then knelt and gave her youngest a hug. "I love you." When she finally managed to pull out of the hug, Noah clung on. "Honey I have to go."

"No!" Noah cried. "Mommy!"

Her eyes stung. "Sweetie I have to. I'll be home later and I'll see you in the morning." The boy started wailing. It broke her heart. The boy's abandonment issues were getting worse and it was only because Hannah had to work so much. His reaction to his father was normally like this because he rarely ever saw him.

Max helped pry Noah from his mom. Hannah stood up and fought some tears, trying to wipe them away so her boys couldn't see her. "Mom just go. I've got him."

She nodded. "Lock up and set the alarm after me." She hurried out, and ran to her newly repaired car. Once she was in the car she tried to get a hold of herself, but seeing her 3 year old son scream like that for her wasn't easy. All she wanted to do was be there for him.

* * *

After a long, excruciating shift at the diner, Hannah managed to use what little energy remained to drive home and crawl into bed. She was out as soon as her head hit the pillow. 

Thanks to the heavy and warped front door, Max knew when his mom got home. It woke him up and he waited until he heard footsteps in the hall, and the sound of the nearby bedroom door shut.

He knew his mom didn't want to work so many hours. It wasn't her fault. It was his dad's. Max threw the blankets off him and got out of bed. He changed into some clothes, pulled on a jacket and some runners then he tip toed out of his room and checked on his mom. She was passed out, her face buried in the pillow. From the looks of it she seemed like she might smother herself in her sleep; yet, she always lived to the next morning. It wasn't uncommon for her to sleep that way.

Max shut the door and went downstairs. He carefully grabbed the car keys from the small table by the door, next to his mom's purse. He then went back upstairs, trying to make sure he was as quiet as a mouse.

A floorboard creaked. He froze.

He waited a minute, making sure his mom wasn't going to come out and investigate. When she didn't, Max headed to his room. He put the small magnet he had sitting on his dresser, and slipped it over the alarm sensor. It allowed him to open the window without setting the alarm off. He then snuck out the window and down the fire escape.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: Dick Wolf, NBC own everything but my original characters.

* * *

Goren walked into the apartment, seriously. They hadn't expected another death for awhile. It seemed the killer was shortening the period between each death. All the high-priced furniture and nice wooden floors were now ruined, covered in a thin layer of water. The detective looked around the place, annoyed. His crime scene was ruined…contaminated. Now it would make their job only harder. 

"This way." An officer identifying himself as detective Henderson from Homicide led Eames and Goren further into the apartment, down to the hallway. A half burned up corpse was lying face down, also wet. "W-why is it wet? Did the fire department…"

Henderson blinked, waiting for Goren to continue the sentence before realizing he wasn't going to. "Nah he's got sprinklers here. The whole building does."

Goren motioned to the dark markings on the floor at the entrance to the hall from the living room. "Gasoline...he was trapped..." He stepped over the body and walked down the hall, paying attention only to the burn marks on the floor and walls. He entered the bedroom. There was one more darkened mark were around the bed and one line up the middle of it was burned all the way through to the mattress. "Gas was poured on the bed...to make sure...that he would get burned while he slept...i-it would wake him."

"The phoneline's been cut." Eames noticed and turned to her partner. "He'd be forced to leave the room to get to a phone."

"Making sure that...he was...trapped and that he knew it." They went back into the hall.

Eames walked past the body, allowing her partner to do what he was best at. She noticed a picture on the wall that caught her attention. "Bobby."

He lifted his head, curious about her tone.

She turned to him. "This is Jake Moore's apartment."

Goren flinched and his mouth dropped open slightly. He looked at the body, surprised, then at the homicide detective. "I-is this the…owner?"

Henderson flipped open his pad of paper. "Yeah…it appears that way."

Goren sighed, shutting his eyes, feeling a knot in his stomach. "W-who called it in?"

"The building's hooked up to an alarm system. Apparently if the smoke detector goes off, the security company calls, if no one picks up, a call's made to the fire department."

Goren looked at Jakes' body, upset, and rubbed his face. The man was hardly an asset to the human race but it didn't mean he deserved to die. He dreaded the thought of telling Hannah and her kids but he didn't want some stranger, or worse, a rookie, to be the one to notify them. He turned to Eames sadly.

She gave him a sympathetic look.

Goren sighed and got his bearings together. "I-I want to be the one to…to tell Hannah." Eames didn't expect anything less.

Henderson waited for Goren to stop inspecting the body before continuing to debrief the detectives. "There's blood droplets in the kitchen. CSU was able to get a sample." He led them back to the kitchen and motioned to the glass table.

On one side there was a spiderweb-like crack and the very edge of the table was broken, with some shards of glass sticking out. Some shattered glass was on the ground along with a few drops of blood.

Goren studied the crack, then the rest of the table. He balled his hand into a fist and lightly put it over top of the point of impact. "The killer was sitting here…she knew him alright."

"ME puts TOD between four and five this morning."

Goren flagged a photographer and motioned to the table. "Different angles…shots of the table."

Eames left him to check out the rest of the apartment.

* * *

Hannah got up like every other morning. When she knocked on Max's door there was no response so she opened it. Max's form was barely noticeable under the thick blankets. She decided, that since it was a Saturday and she didn't have her shift until noon, that she'd let him sleep in a little longer. 

It was a few hours later, her boys came downstairs, still in their pajamas. Hannah was wearing a pair of jeans and a sweater and making breakfast for them.

"Hey." Hannah put her hand under Max's chin and studied him. "Did you sleep at all? You look like a zombie." She let go of him. "I want you to take a nap this afternoon."

"_Mom_."

"I'm serious. You haven't slept much this week. I don't want you getting sick."

He sighed, annoyed and cranky. "Whatever."

They were into their second portions when the doorbell rang.

Hannah dried her hands on the dish towel and pulled her sleeves down. She punched in the alarm code and answered the door. She smiled at Goren and gave a small polite smile at Eames. "Hi." Her smiled faded, noticing their seriousness. "What is it?"

Goren moved past her and they shut the door behind them. "We have to…something's happened."

Max stepped out of the kitchen, rubbing a spot on his arm a little, over top of the long shirt he had worn to bed.

Eames and Goren exchanged a glance. "Is that pancakes you're having?" Eames asked Max and gravitating to the kitchen only to let Goren have some privacy as he broke the news.

"What's going on?" Hannah asked Goren.

He motioned down the hall. "W-we have to talk." They went down to the end of the hall where they were sufficiently out of range of hearing from the kids. "Something's happened…to your ex husband…Jake."

"What do you mean?"

"He's dead…I'm sorry."

She blinked. "What?"

Goren sighed, seeing the usual emotions flash across her face as it did most other people when they needed to inform someone of a death. Shock and disbelief, denial, acceptance, confusion and pain. He knew her well enough to know that though she didn't love Jake anymore, it still hurt. She wasn't heartless. They had history together and they were her kids' father. "It happened this morning."

She crossed her arms over her chest. "How? What happened?" Her eyes stung.

"It's…it's a part of the case we've been working on." He fidgeted, wanting to hug her but not really sure if she'd be receptive to it. He knew he probably shouldn't.

"What?"

Goren took her hand and brought her a few feet, over to the bench there in the hall. He sat her down, took a spot next to her, and just held her hand. "I'm sorry, but this…someone wanted Jake dead."

She looked at him sadly. "Your partner's not telling my kids is she?"

"No. I thought you should do that."

She nodded and wiped her eyes but it didn't help. Her eyes watered still. "What am I supposed to tell them? Noah won't even…he's so young he…he doesn't understand about death…and Max…"

"I don't know…is there anyone you think would want to hurt Jake or want him dead?"

"Uh…" She wiped her eyes again. "He…he has a lot of girlfriends. Max said one of them took a baseball bat to his car one time when they were over there."

Goren opened his binder and scribbled that down. "Do you know a name?"

"Tania something…it was about a year ago I think." She took a deep breath and wiped her eyes again. "His secretary…she would probably know."

"Anyone else?"

She shook her head. "I don't know."

"What about any…friends that…maybe he had a falling out with?"

She sighed. "I barely talk to him and if I do its usually about Max or Noah."

Goren shut his binder. "If you think of anything later, call me."

She nodded. Goren studied her then put his hand on her arm. "I promise I'll do whatever I can to find this killer…to make sure that your kids…that they have justice."

She stood up with him. "Thank you." She crossed her arms over her chest as though she was cold.

He gave a little nod, not really sure what to say. "Uh…we'll…we'll help ourselves out…"

She nodded and took a deep breath. Goren started down the hall. Hannah took another few deep breaths then started down the hall as well. Once the detectives left, Hannah went into the living room and sat her kids down to break the news to them.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: Don't own anything but Hannah and her kids...everything else is NBC's and Dick Wolf's. If you sue me you'll be throwing away money b/c I only have pennies in my penny loafers.

* * *

Later that day…

Goren wandered around Jake's office. He studied the pictures briefly before going back over to Eames. She was questioning the secretary. She sniffled and wiped her eyes every so often. "…and what about his old girlfriends? We were told about a Tania, that she attacked his car last year." They were pretty sure the lead went nowhere but they had to check just in case.

The secretary, April, wiped her eyes again. "Yeah…but…but she hasn't shown up all year."

"We'll need a list of his old girlfriends."

"Uh…" She went over to the desk. "It should be in here."

Goren stopped her before opening the desk and opened it for her, with his gloved hands. He took the black book out of the top and flipped through it. "There's a lot of names here." He dropped it on the table and went through some of the drawers.

"What about anyone else? Did you ever see Mr. Moore argue with anyone? Maybe he said something in passing, about a disagreement with someone?"

"Actually…his ex-wife was here a few days ago…uh…Monday. She was here Monday and they got into quarrel. She looked pretty upset when she left."

Goren felt the air leave his lungs. He looked at Eames, his eyes pleading. Hannah couldn't be a suspect again could she? He knew that considering who Jake was to her, and now this new piece of information, well, it wasn't good.

Eames started, "what were they arguing about?"

"I couldn't hear and Jake…I mean, Mr. Moore, he never told me."

"Thank you." Eames said and waited until she left before turning to Goren. "I think we're done here for now."

Goren didn't say anything. He just took the black book with him and they left.

* * *

Goren was getting more and more agitated. It just didn't make sense. The case, Hannah's involvement. None of it. Of course, Goren knew Ross didn't want to hear what he had to say. The Captain preferred things neat and tidy, black and white...simple. "But she didn't…she had an alibi."

"Which is the same as the judge's death…she was sleeping. It's not very solid."

"Victor Hamil's…she had an alibi then." His voice grew louder and more impatient.

"Isn't it possible our killer could have an accomplice?"

"No, it doesn't fit the profile." Goren gave a nod. "S-she doesn't fit the profile of our killer."

Ross looked at Eames, annoyed at Goren's uncooperative attitude. "What do you think?"

"Well…I think…it's _possible_ that Hannah Winters could be framed, but…" She looked at Goren regretfully. "I agree with you Captain. I think we missed something."

Ross nodded and picked up the phone. "I'll get a search warrant for her home, and-"

"She didn't do it! It's not in her profile!"

Ross stared flatly at Goren. "Obviously we've overlooked _something_ on this case. It very well could be the fact the profile of the killer's wrong. I'm going to try to get a search warrant issued and I want her brought in for questioning."

"Captain…" Goren shut his mouth, seeing that Ross wasn't about to waver on the issue and it could get him into more trouble than he would have liked.

Goren and Eames left the office and went over to their desks. He glanced at the phone, the knot in his stomach and the echoing of his conscience told him he had let Hannah know what was going to happen. She deserved time to prepare things for the kids. To make sure they didn't see what his job was making him do. Goren fidgeted and rubbed the back of his neck, with a look Eames knew too well. He reached for the phone. "Bobby." Eames put her hand on the receiver to stop him. "You can't warn her about this." She looked at him incredulously.

"She just…everything…her kids…"

"IF she is the killer you would be tipping her off. She could skip town. I'm sorry, but this has to be by the book."

He tilted his head, looking at her distraught. "But she…" She's what? He knew that's what Eames would be thinking, but he couldn't exactly tell her that he was in love with Hannah. He was certain she already knew that when Jake had 'outed' him...about his feelings for Hannah, he hadn't been exaggerating. However, admitting it would only make things harder. Goren was not supposed to feel these things for a suspect and possible killer.

He just knew the next day or so would be very hard on him. He wasn't looking forward to it.

* * *

Hannah made her bed and tip toed into her boy's rooms while they slept, careful not to disturb them. She gathered up the laundry and went downstairs. She separated the clothes and sighed tiredly. She almost missed the long sleeved navy blue shirt that looked barely used. She studied it for stains. Normally Max wouldn't bother throwing a shirt into the laundry unless he already wore it twice. Hannah couldn't remember him seeing the shirt in a while.

She noticed a small tear on the arm of the shirt. There was a little blood on it but not a lot. She made a mental note to ask her son about it later.

Hannah grabbed the small hairspray bottle, which was usual in getting the toughest of stains out. She sprayed it a few times over the blood and threw the shirt into the washer with the other clothes.

Once Max was up she did ask him about the cut and he said he just fell while riding his skateboard on the way home the day before, and that he had just changed before his mom had gotten home. She believed him and checked over his cut before letting him eat. It was taken care of so Hannah didn't stress over it.

Hannah wore a pair of jeans and a dark brown wool sweater that was a couple sizes too big for her. It was a sweater she bought just after giving birth to Noah, since her other clothes had been too small at the time. It was very comfortable. Her hair was being held up by imitation-jade chopsticks. She was on the couch with Noah in her lap, reading Ducktales to him. "Huey, Dewey, and Louie hid behind the tomb. They were scared of-"

The door bell rung. Hannah looked up then back at her son. "I'll be right back." She put her son down on the couch and gave him the book then answered the door.

Goren and Eames stood there seriously.

Hannah smiled at first, focussing on Goren. But then she noticed some officers waiting behind them and her smile faded. Eames handed her a folded piece of paper.

"What is this?" Hannah asked suspiciously, holding the warrant. "It's not a-?"

"It's a warrant, to search your house."

"What?" her eyes shot at Goren. "You're joking, right?"

Eames moved past her, leading the CSU officers inside. They already had their orders. Hannah went into the living room. Noah looked around, upset at all the strangers coming into his house. He started to whine, as if he wasn't sure he should cry or not. She picked him up and glared at Goren, going to the stairs. "You didn't have the decency to warn me about this? To let me get my kids out of the house?"

"I…" He didn't really know what to say. Anything would sound like a lame excuse.

She didn't like this at all. Hannah called up to her son to warn him that strangers were in their house. She doubted he'd appreciate having officers burst into his room. "Max! Get down here!"

Max stepped into the hall, only to see a couple officers walk past him. He hurried down the stairs. "What the fuck is this?"

"Language." She scowled at her son.

Goren couldn't stand the way she looked at him so he went up the stairs following Eames to Hannah's room.

Eames went through the drawers, looking for a white chenille sweater to compare with the fluff from their first crime scene.

Goren tried to detach himself but it was impossible. A couple pictures on Hannah's wall only broke his heart. One of Hannah with her parents as a kid. She was a beautiful little girl. Then next to that, was a picture of her with her boys. There was a frame with several other photos in it, all of her boys at different ages, and a similar frame with her friends in it. An empty easel stood in the corner of the room.

A couple amazing works of art, canvases, hung on the wall and a colourful, cozy and yet elegant quilt was laid out over the bed.

A single, dried red rose rested on the dresser. Goren studied it for a moment. He wondered if it was the one he gave her and hoped it was. Yet, that thought only brought pain. She was their prime suspect.

Her closet was quite the opposite of what he'd expect for her. It was rather empty of clothes. Instead, Hannah had put a desk inside it and used the small portion next to it to hang clothes.

Goren went over to the closet and flipped through the dresses and skirts that hung. They were all clothes she would wear for work. "No sweater here." He looked at the open notebook on the desk and flipped a few pages. He blinked, noticing the title of a story. _Juju for Julia_. It was a satirical short story. Pink ink was scribbled in the margins and circled things that needed to be worked on. The story was about a brother and sister. Julia and Max, and aside from the mistakes, Goren had read it before. _'It can't be…'_

He flipped through more pages and found a few other titles and editing done for more stories he recognized. He flipped to the front page. It had 'Hannah Winters' written on the top in black, then underneath it were anagrams made from her name, in blue ink.

One name was circled in pink. 'Shawn Trainhen'.

Goren swallowed the lump in his throat. The name Shawn Trainhen was an anagram for Hannah Winters. Goren suddenly felt panicked. Hannah was the writer he admired for the past year.

"Find anything?"

He put the book down. "Uh…no." He rubbed the back of his neck, trying to refocus his attention on the task at hand, and his job. "D-did you find the sweater?"

"It could be in the laundry room. I'll go check." Eames left the room.

Goren took a deep breath and rubbed his face.

He had a look around some more, before leaving. He checked the rest of the rooms curiously. When Goren walked into Max's he noticed right off that the boy was a slob. The surfaces were all clean, and the carpet was vacuumed but clothes were all over the place. He could tell Max probably cleaned when he was supposed to but likely he'd mess it up even a few hours later.

He also noticed a set of encyclopaedias and a stacked bookshelf, a few childhood toys in the closet that was half open, several posters of rock bands on the wall. Simple Plan, Sum 41, Rasmus, Within Temptation, and Something Corporate. There were some pictures of young, beautiful women. Goren didn't know who any of them were but the names on the posters read Avril Lavigne, Sarah Michelle Gellar, and Scarlett Johansson.

He went over to the table next to the bed and tilted his head to read the title of the book resting on it. It was _Along Came a Spider_ by James Patterson. Goren never heard of that one either.

He noticed a magnet on the table. He picked it up curiously and looked around. There were no magnetic surfaces as far as he could see. He studied the magnet then put it down, figuring Max probably had bought it to take to school for his locker.

Goren gravitated over to the bookshelf. There were two rows of shelves filled with magazines. One had several rock magazines like Rolling Stone and Spin; the other had all of the issues for the All-Seeing Eye.

He finished up in Max's room, and went to check the other rooms, starting with Noah's, then the bathroom. It was a typical bathroom except for a few childlike things. A Mickey Mouse bath plug, along with a couple bath toys for Noah.

Goren flipped open the medicine cabinet and studied the contents inside. Judging by her reaction downstairs, he figured Hannah would hate this. There were a couple small bottles of eye drops for 'tired' eyes, Chapstick, a bottle of mouth wash, floss, toothpaste, a container of facial cleansing cream, and a small makeup bag. He went through the makeup bag and found nothing of importance. He put everything back into the cupboard. One thing he hadn't found anywhere was Hannah's birth control pills. He wondered if she used any at all.

When he came downstairs he found Hannah strapping on Noah's boots. The boy had on a puffy winter jacket with mittens hanging through the arm holes. He grabbed her purse off the table and sifted through it before putting it back, finding nothing of interest.

Eames came back from the laundry room, carrying a long sleeved shirt, in an evidence bag. She told Goren about the tear in the arm that CSU had tested positive for blood, before handing it off to one of the CSU officers.

Goren's phone rang. He answered it. "Goren…Yeah…" Goren's face darkened as he got the news. Eames came over and waited until he got off the phone. Goren hung up and spoke just loud enough for his partner to hear. "The car in the video surveillance… from across the street from Moore's apartment…it-it's Hannah's." He felt like he couldn't breathe.

Eames shut her eyes and sighed then opened them. "How do you want to do this?"

Goren ran his tongue over his lip, studying Hannah in the next room. "We'll take her in…'voluntarily'…no cuffs. I don't want her kids to see it." Goren watched Hannah for a moment, thinking of all the little things they've said to each other, how caring and sweet she was, and how whenever he shut his eyes he saw her. The anger and bitterness of the betrayal started to bubble up. "Hannah."

She turned her head to look at him, not pleased with having her privacy invaded and being considered a suspect.

"Come here."

She could see that he meant business. She glanced at Max then back at Goren and went up to the detective. Suddenly Hannah felt nervous, seeing the anger in his eyes.

Goren leaned forward and refrained from yelling. His voice was harsh but he never raised it, in fact, he lowered it. "You're coming with us…downtown."

"What?" She asked surprised. "I'm not-"

"You don't have a choice in this." He glared at her. _'How could she do this? How could I believe her? She's a murderer and she was trying to win me over so I wouldn't look in her direction…nearly ruined your career which is the only thing you have left now."_

"But my kids..."

"They can come with us." Goren knew that likely social services would have to be called in once they charge her.

Hannah glanced behind her. Max came over with Noah. "Change of plans." She told him.

Max grabbed his coat from the closet and grumbled. "I figured."

* * *

Note - Yes I'm evil...but I'm open to suggestions for the ending and if you make a suggestion I like, I may put it into my story...I have a general idea for the ending, but there are parts i haven't written yet...so...Read and Review please.


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: See all other disclaimers...

* * *

Hannah's heart was racing by the time she was shown into the interrogation room. _'They can't really think I would kill Jake could they?...or that I could kill anyone at all?' _She tried to reassure herself about how since she was innocent nothing could happen to her. But she knew better. A lot of people have been known to be innocent and still land in prison. 

It wasn't so much as the thought of going to prison that threw her off, but the fact that it was going to be Goren who sent her. He would be taking her away from her children. She couldn't allow that. They needed her just as much as she needed them.

While she waited. 'Sweating it out' as the officers usually called it, she didn't get nervous. She got angry.

Hannah slipped off her coat and waited.

Goren studied her through the mirror. _'It was all a lie…_' He could tell Hannah was pulling herself together. The annoyance on her face was obvious to anyone. On the one hand she was so easy to read. Anyone could profile her; yet, somehow Goren was wrong this whole time.

"Captain let me, she might open up to me more, woman to woman."

"No…I think Goren should. He's got more of a rapport with her."

Goren turned to him, feeling sick to his stomach. "Uh…Captain…I don't…maybe Eames should…"

He shook his head. "I don't think she'll open up to Eames in the way she will to you. Use your background…just get a confession."

Goren bit the inside of his cheek, took a deep breath then left the room. He tried to prepare for what was to come. Hannah was the killer, or a partner in crime with another woman. He grossly misjudged her and it could cost him everything. He had kept the day at the gardens a secret, as well as the kisses they had shared. Goren knew that Eames didn't approve only because she hadn't been comfortable with the fact the case hadn't been solved yet. The fact that he had been on suspension when he had the pleasure of feeling those soft pouty lips against his meant nothing to the captain, and he was pretty sure it would mean nothing to his partner. But what was done was done and Goren would just have to brace himself for Hannah to come out with it during the interrogation. Suspects tended to use whatever leverage they could, trying to gain an advantage.

Hannah looked up and took a deep breath, seeing Goren walk into the room with his binder. His face was emotionless but she could see the fury in his eyes. It hurt. He actually thought she was a murderer.

As soon as Goren reached the table he dropped his binder onto it. It made a loud bang. Hannah flinched but she didn't jump.

Goren sat down and went through some papers quietly for a minute as though she wasn't there. Hannah could be patient so she just kept her mouth shut, not wanting to get into more trouble than she was already in.

He started reading one of the papers. "Hannah Robin Winters…born and raised in Avondale, Rhode Island. Single child…parents killed in a car crash when you were 9…arrested when you were 11 for shoplifting…" he studied her, feeling the bitter sting of betrayal. "T-this is…_quite_ a jump for you…shoplifting to murder…unless you've committed other crimes w-we just don't know about."

She took a deep breath, glaring at him, trying to stay calm but it did little good. _'He's mad at me? I'm the one who should be pissed! He's got no right, invading my home, using me like that to get more information, setting up a case against an innocent woman!' _

"I was a kid…poor, and I wanted to see what makeup was like. I stole some but returned them later because I felt guilty. I'm sure your little report doesn't say anything about that but I'm pretty sure deputy Harris still works there. He's got an excellent memory."

Goren blinked and smiled darkly. "You…" He pointed at her. "You expect us to buy that?"

"I'm from a town that's straight from the 1930's. Shoplifting is considered a serious offence over there. People tend to remember that sort of thing." She crossed her arms over her chest.

"T-that's right…an old fashioned town, old fashioned values…then you come here. Everything's changed, but you don't. You stay the same lost, lonely little girl you were when you entered your orphanage….P-people expect things from you here. It's…understandable that you wanted to…to vent your frustrations on those that wronged you."

He took another paper out of the binder. "Book store clerk, waitress, cleaning woman, mail clerk, house painter, waitress, fry cook, retail clerk, file clerk, waitress _again_ and event planner…" he looked at her sympathetically. "Over the last 13 years you worked 11 different jobs, sometimes 2 or 3 at a time. You supported your family and paid for husband's education…you were completely devoted to them…to him….he promised you could go to school once he got a job didn't he?" Goren tilted his head. "But that's another promise Jake never kept. It must of have made you angry."

She clenched her jaw, knowing she shouldn't say anything unless it had a very clear point. Otherwise she could get into trouble. She didn't take her eyes off him. She knew this was a power play of some sort and she wasn't going to give him. "Of course but I'm not a killer."

Goren sat next to her and fought back the urge to yell and start pounding the table in frustration. It seemed like the interrogation was going on for ages now. He just wanted it over and to make the pain stop. He smiled. "You _really_ had me going for a second there…brava!" he started clapping.

Hannah sighed, annoyed. She opened her mouth to say something but Goren cut her off.

"Was it worth it?"

"I didn't do anything."

"So you think murder is 'nothing' now?"

She knew he was trying to twist things to make her fumble. "I don't kill people. I can't even kill a spider." She left out the part where she was terrified of the things.

"Not even them?" Goren dropped the photos of the burned victims on the table.

Hannah looked away, her face paling. "I didn't…" She drew a deep breath.

"You know, I understand how…angry…you were. How…hopeless it all felt…you were trying to provide for your kids…and these men made it seem impossible…for you to even…sleep….working insane hours but getting nowhere. Rent, food, insurance bills, daycare, paying for a sitter…and here they were…sitting on their small fortunes…hundreds of thousands of dollars…with your money. Your child support…I would be angry too." He paused. "When my father left…my mother…she tried her best. But whatever she did, it just didn't seem to be good enough…it's hard…providing for your kids when the world seems to be…working against you." He paused.

"Your own husband ruined your life…getting you pregnant when you were only a kid…then treating you so…so callously all those years and then getting off so easily...without paying a penny. Anyone in your situation would want…for them to feel the pain you did."

Hannah took a deep breath. "I may have been _angry_ with Jake but I wouldn't kill him." Goren wished she would just confess and get it over with already. He sat on the table, close to her, seeming even taller and more intimidating. Hannah continued. "Despite everything he didn't ruin my life. I have two wonderful boys thanks to him."

"That's right…two boys who need their father…whose father may have been…been a bastard but he was still their father. You took any chance for them to reconcile away from them…you killed someone your sons loved!"

"No I didn't! I'm NOT a killer, I'm not manipulative or anything like that! Of all people I thought YOU would see that!"

Goren flinched and watched her for a second before getting up and going over to the tv in the corner. He turned it on and hit 'play' on the VCR. He pointed to the screen. "Do you recognize this?"

The images showed a run down white car, with a familiar licence plate…her licence to be exact. It pulled up to the nice apartment building and park around the side. The car ran over the curb before correcting itself.

Hannah blinked, confused. She looked at Goren for answers. "It's fixed."

He waved his finger at her, not once the anger left his eyes. _'He really thinks I killed Jake…' _"No." He added with a small smile, void of any warmth. "_Nice_ parking job." He turned off the tv.

"No it wasn't me…the…the doormen, they would have seen me...why don't you just ask him?"

"Shift change…but you knew that…you went in through the front and knew where the cameras were to avoid being seen….then when you left…y-you went out the side door."

She could hear her heart thumping loudly. Hannah tried to figure out what was going on. Was she being framed?

Goren's voice softened a little. "You burn your victims because it comforts you…when your parents died…y-you were there. The car accident…there was a fire wasn't there? It calmed you…made you feel…less frightened…and…out of control."

"There wasn't any fire."

Goren tilted his head, studying her. He couldn't tell if she was lying or not. The car accident report had been vague so he had guessed about the fire. It would make more sense that way.

Something didn't add up.

He took a photo and put it in front of her. It was of the kitchen table in Jake's apartment. "This is your blood…it was found in Jake's apartment. A simple DNA test will prove that."

"It's not mine. Besides, it's circumstantial."

Goren went to the door, opened it and took the evidence bag from an officer before shutting the door again. He walked up to her and held the bag up for her. "Look familiar?" Hannah recognized that shirt from the morning. She looked at him surprised. He pointed at her. "You do…your shirt…torn…with blood on it…broken table…with your blood…"

_'Oh god…'_ Hannah realized just how blind she was. Max's arm was cut, he could have taken the car… _'He's not a killer…I know that...something else must have happened…they can't know.'_

"It's closing in on you isn't it?" Goren lowered his voice. "We might be able to...w-work out a plea if you give up your accomplice."

It was hard to think all of a sudden. _'Maybe if I convince them that's my shirt…it is big for Max…wait, a lawyer, I should-'_

Goren tilted his head again and raised his eyebrows. "Time's ticking…"


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimers: I don't own L&O:CI, I only wish I did. Dick Wolf is the genius behind the show and we should all bow down to his brilliance.

* * *

"Hannah just take a deal! You don't want to leave your kids without a family do you?!" 

She glared him angrily, her eyes burning from unshed tears. "If anyone is taking a family away from my kids it'll be you _detective_."

Goren's eyes stung. It was as though their words were like punches and the two of them were locked in a perpetual boxing match. At least that's how it felt. He drew in a deep breath and composed himself. "Alright…the killer cut her right forearm…" He grabbed her right arm.

Hannah tried to pull her arm away but Goren was too strong. He pulled her arm and pushed the sleeve up with his other hand. There was no cut.

Goren blinked at looked at her surprised.

Hannah glared at him and pulled her arm away. Goren tried for her other arm, thinking he might have been off, maybe the chair at the table had been moved and the killer had actually hurt her left arm instead of her right. Hannah backed away quickly so he couldn't see.

Goren's eyes shone with triumph for a moment and he smiled at her. "That's not the only thing we have on you." He walked up to her, backing her into the wall.

Hannah's heart raced. She definitely could see why he could be considered intimidating but she was more scared by the thought of Max being found out. She started thinking about how sweet Bobby had been and how much of a gentleman, how nice he treated her…_before_. Now she knew he was trying some creative way of getting information out of her. She had heard a murmur of some of the uniformed officers as she had been brought into the room. One told the other officer that "Goren's a loon but he gets the job done."

Hannah took a deep breath and glared at him. "Fine, what is it?"

"You were seen arguing with him on the Monday…March 19th…two days later you paid him $5000…tell me Hannah, why would you pay him money when he owes you five times that amount?"

She blinked, her expression softening for a moment. "It doesn't matter."

"Where did you get that money from? Your antique clock? It wasn't in your house anymore…now why would you go and sell that and give the money to your ex-husband who owes **you** child support? Why wouldn't you use it for your family, for people you care about?"

Hannah drew in another breath, feeling like this, of all questions, hurt the most. She had paid Jake off for nothing. And not only did she sell her clock for $4500, she could never get it back and Goren would never know. She would never tell him. "I want a lawyer."

Goren blinked and opened his mouth to say something then stopped. He pursed his lips together, annoyed and backed off. He gathered the papers up and put them into his folder. He started to wonder why she hadn't mentioned their relationship yet. It could very well throw the case out. At least a great lawyer could do that. He knew if Carver had been defending her or her son, he could get the case tossed in a hearbeat.

"And I want to see my kids." She demanded, louder and more confident.

He stood up and started to the door. "A-anything else?"

"No." She glared at him.

Goren left the room.

Max and Noah were sent in. Noah ran up to his mom and demanded to be picked up.

Max looked around the room, interested. He went up to the tv.

"Don't." Hannah said seriously. "Sit down."

"You know they're watching right now right?"

"I figured."

Goren watched Hannah and her kids. Her face always softened when they were near but she was still really angry. _'Well she couldn't get away with it.'_

His eyes fell to Max. He put his left arm on the table then slowly lifted his right arm, doing the same. _'His arm's hurt…he had access to the car, he's smart he would know how to drive…the terrible parking job…the front door jams and is loud to open, he'd probably be afraid to wake his mom…the magnet in his room, if put next to the sensor for the alarm it would prevent the alarm from going off if he opened the window and snuck out on the fire escape. Hannah's protecting her son.' _

He understood why she was so intent on not letting him see her arms. The absence of a cut on her arm didn't mean they wouldn't compare the blood at the crime scene. The blood droplets at the scene ruled Hannah out but not Max. If Hannah was compelled to take a DNA test, it would prove her son was the murderer.

Goren turned to the captain. "W-we need a court order."

"For what? We'll just need to wait until her lawyer gets here."

"Uh, no. She didn't do it...but it's possible that…" He pointed at Max. "He might have…his arm…" he glanced at the captain and Eames. "And he'd be angry enough…we need to compel him to talk."

"I'll make a call." Ross said and left the room. He and Eames left the room. She stopped in the doorway. "You coming?"

"In a minute." He said and waited for the door to shut behind Eames. As soon as she was gone he pressed the button on the speaker to listen to what Hannah and her kids were saying. Goren crossed his arms and rested his head in his palm, listening intently.

* * *

There, I've never written interrogation scenes before. Hopefully this turned out okay.

Reviews - Thanks to everyone who posted so far. More reviews I receive the better!


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I own nothing…much. L&O:CI isn't mine.

Note – any street names or geography used, pretend I know what I'm talking about.

* * *

"No, I want to be in there with him." Hannah insisted. 

"This says we can question him alone…with the lawyer." Ross held up the paper for her.

She huffed, putting her hands on her hips and watched through the mirror with the captain and detective Eames.

On the other side, Goren sat down with his binder and the evidence bag. Max and the lawyer sat across from him. "Do you know why I wanted to ask you some questions?" He asked Max calmly.

"Yeah. You know my mom didn't pick those people off so now you're blaming me."

Goren tilted his head. "You're fidgeting…picking at the side of the table...and you downplay the murders…that's a classic sign of overcompensating for one's feelings…you feel guilty about those people don't you? You…you felt like it was necessary but…you didn't want to?" He paused, waiting for Max to say something but he didn't.

The detective continued. He put the evidence bag on the table. "At first I thought this was your mom's…but it's not _quite_ her style is it?" He gave a nod. "This is yours." He played the surveillance footage of the family car being parked out front of Jake's building. He paused the screen. "That was you wasn't it?"

"Don't say anything." The lawyer told him.

Goren pulled his chair to the side of the table and loosened his tie. "You're a bright kid Max. You've got your whole life ahead of you. Don't make this harder on yourself. Tell us what we need to know before someone else gets killed."

"If I'm your prime suspect then you've got problems." Max grumbled under his breath.

"Okay, why don't you tell me about that…who would you look for?"

He shrugged. "A woman."

"Why?"

"Aren't all the stiffs men?" he shrugged. "It's kind of obvious."

"How would this woman…relate your father?"

"I dunno. She screwed him? Or dad screwed her over."

"That's…nice…terminology." He said unimpressed. "Now how would she be found?"

Max rolled his eyes and slid further down into his chair. "I don't know. I know what you're doing though."

"And what's that?"

"You think I actually did this and know some homicidal lady with a serious grudge that would actually go out and throw kerosene on people. _Please_…like I would associate with people like that."

The way he spoke reminded Goren of Hannah. _'Wait, kerosene?' _He blinked. "How did you know kerosene was used in the homicides?"

Max's face fell. "What? It was?"

"Don't say another word…my client wants a deal."

Max glared at the man. "Your 'client' didn't do anything."

Goren studied Max. "How about I just run some ideas off you?" He sat on the table and watched Max' reaction. "You hear your mother come home, she's so exhausted from work that she passes out within a couple minutes of going to bed. But you probably check on her anyways, just to make sure. You get her car keys, put a magnet to the sensors on your window thus allowing you to open it and sneak out. You take the car and drive to your father's building."

He paused briefly. "You just wanted to talk to him didn't you?"

Max stared at the table, remembering the night his father died. His eyes stung.

"Did you have anything specific to say? Or did you just miss him?" When there was no answer, Goren asked another question. "Before that night, when was the last time you talked to your dad?"

Max shrugged. Goren remained silent and Max suddenly felt compelled to kill the deafening silence. "Boxing Day."

"Did you go over to his place or did he come to yours?"

"Detective, what does this-" He was cut off by Goren's hand shoved in his face.

Max squirmed, staring at the table. "We went there."

"Your mother. She took you?"

He nodded. "He promised to stop by for Christmas Eve. Mom kept saying he confused it for Christmas Day…"

"But he never showed up."

Max nodded again. "Noah kept crying…the only thing that seemed to shut him up is when mom promised to take us over to dad's the next day."

"Does Noah do that a lot? Cry?"

"Whenever dad does see him…Noah puts up a fuss when he leaves…but…once mom started working her 16 and 17 hour shifts Noah just screams. He grabs her legs and…I think the neighbours assumed he's being murdered or something. That's what it sounds like."

Goren nodded. "It's common for children whose parents…walk out…to have abandonment issues. It sounds like Noah has severe separation anxiety…so what happened when you saw your dad on Boxing Day?"

"He had a woman with him. She didn't know his name so I think he just picked her up. He said he forgot it was Christmas."

"He was…distracted."

"I guess." Max shrugged.

"What presents did he get you?"

"He got Noah set of blocks and me a cd." He said spitefully.

"Well that's not _that_ bad, is it?"

Max glared at him. "He got Noah the same blocks last year, and the cd he got me was Eminem."

"W-who?"

"He's a rapper."

"Oh…and you like rock music. I see."

"Whatever. No big deal." He shifted in his seat again then sighed.

"The other night, when you went to your father's apartment, what were you talking to him about?"

"Him. I asked for some money…to help mom out."

"Why did you think he would give you any?"

"It's _our_ money! Mom works her ass off during the day, she comes home, makes us dinner, then works at night. She sleeps maybe two hours a night and sometimes she's so tired she can't make it upstairs and instead passes out on the couch. I was trying to tell him that!"

"But he wasn't going to give you any money?"

"No."

"And you hated him for that? You wanted him to suffer. To feel what you and your mom felt." Goren leaned down, tilting his head to look Max in the eye. "Didn't you?"

"Yes." He said weakly.

"Sorry? W-what was that?"

"Yes god dammit!"

"You wanted him dead."

"No I never…" he said shakily.

"You went to your dad's place…saw that thousand dollar coffee table and that eight hundred dollar stereo…your father answered the door in his silk robe while...while you walked in with your tattered shoes…and when you told your dad about how much you and your brother needed him, what happened?" Goren gave him a chance to answer for himself but he didn't.

"You two were seated at the table." Goren put the picture of the broken kitchen table in front of Max. "Something he said made you so angry that you broke the table, hitting it. You gave yourself a cut in the process."

"No I-"

Goren grabbed Max's arm.

"Detective!" The lawyer exclaimed surprised, thinking Goren would hit him.

He pushed Max's sleeve up. His arm was bandaged. Goren tilted his head and watched the boy sadly. "What did your dad say?"

Max's eyes stung, remembering it like he was reliving it. "He laughed." His lip trembled. "All I said was that mom needed just enough for next month's rent…and a little for food…just for the month…he started laughing." A couple tears fell onto his cheeks. "He said I was like a little girl asking for a piece of candy."

Goren sighed and put his hand on the boy's shoulder. "Is that when you decided…to…pay him back for all those years of neglect?"

Max wiped his eyes. "No. No I didn't kill him…I left." He looked at Goren, hoping for the detective to believe him. "Dad didn't even care about my cut. I left."

"You used the side door."

He wiped his eyes again. "It was closer."

"What time did you get home?"

"Just after four...I checked on mom. She was still sleeping."

"Did anyone see you?"

He thought to himself. "Um…no, but I drove past Broadway and 42nd…there's a traffic cam there right?"

Goren let out a breath and nodded. He believed him. The knot in his stomach eased a little.


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't pretend to. Don't sue or you'll be wasting your money.

* * *

Goren leaned down a little, catching Max's eyes again. "Once we look at the cameras…see your car there, it'll alibi you. Y-you and your mom…it'll clear you. D-don't worry." He got up and left the room.

He stopped in the hall for a second and took a deep breath, shutting his eyes. He drew in another deep breath and opened his eyes before going into the other room.

Hannah left the room, pushing past Goren. They saw her appear in the interrogation room to be with her son.

"He didn't do it." Eames stated. "He didn't know what accelerant was used, and if the traffic cam can alibi him, then we're back at square one."

Goren shook his head slightly. "Now we know…they didn't have anything to do with the murders."

The door opened and in walked a short plump man with glasses. He handed Ross a pink slip of paper then left.

Ross sighed. "There was another one. 15 minutes ago." He gave Eames the paper. The detectives turned to him in surprise, then disappointment. Ross added. "I'll meet you there. I just want to make a call to the Department of Transportation first."

They started out of the room. Goren glanced back through the mirror, catching a glimpse of Hannah consoling her son.

* * *

Goren pulled off his gloves in frustration. "Can you tell them to move? Look at that!" He pointed at the small crowd starting to form around the crime scene.

One of the officers went up to the people and started motioning them to back off.

Goren picked up his binder and started back over to the car. He stopped and turned around, seeing a CSU officer pass him. He snapped at the young man. "Make sure that footprint mould sets this time."

The CSU officer blinked, taken aback. He was only on the job 2 years. He botched a foot print mould when he first started but it hadn't mattered to the case at the time since there had been other footprints to work off. He was more than a little surprised that Goren remembered him, and of course, embarrassed.

"Bobby." Eames looked at him surprised. "That was uncalled for."

"Well he…." He motioned to the CSU then shook his head and got into the car.

Once Eames got into the car, she waited. "I know it's not my place, but she's the type to like flowers. Send her some."

He glanced at her, barely making eye contact. "You're right…it isn't your place."

She frowned and started the engine.

Goren looked out the window and watched the spectators as they drove from the crime scene. The captain was on hand, making a statement to the reporters.

They passed a house where a mother was sitting on her front steps, holding her little girl in her lap. The image triggered a memory. He turned to his partner quickly. "The statue."

"What statue?"

"W-we need…" he gave a nod. "I know what we missed."

* * *

"Got something." Eames said, looking up from her computer screen.

Goren got up, went around his desk and stood behind his partner. "She changed her name from Hendricks…Hendricks…" he thought to himself, wondering why the name was familiar.

Eames leaned back in her chair. "One of the cold cases we went over. 6 years ago, a mother and her kids were found dead in their home. They had been sleeping when the fire started."

Goren nodded, remembering. "The father was an abusive drunk. He had got up to make something on the stove but with all that alcohol…he passed out…burned the house down. He was the only survivor, with minor injuries."

They walked over to the interview room which had several boxes all over the place. "Is it a relative?"

"Yeah." Goren sifted through the box they needed and found the police report. He flipped through it. "Regina had a half sister that disappeared 3 years prior to the incident…it's her."

* * *

Sandra Shaw hung up the phone, seeing Detectives Goren and Eames approaching. "Detectives. What can I do for you?"

Goren went over to her desk and picked up the small statue. "I do like this." He pointed at her. "You want kids don't you?"

"I have kids. Two of-"

"N-no. No you don't. Those kids…you were their aunt weren't you?"

"What? I don't know what you're talking about. They're my kids."  
"No you're not…but you love kids." He put the statue down and picked up the photos. "It's difficult to deal with…someone you love dying…especially if they hadn't even started their lives…your sister. Was she a good mother?"

Miss Shaw blinked seriously and clenched her fists the more Goren spoke of her sister.

"She was." Goren answered his own question. "There's an old police report that Regina filed…against her husband. She tried to get out there didn't she?"

"She was weak."

"The neighbours all praised your sister's efforts to get the kids out of that house…" He lied but figured it might help.

"She was weak! **I** would have been a great mother! All Regina ever did was bitch about Bret's drinking. I asked her to come over and bring the kids…to leave that bastard and you know what she said? She said she still loved him!" Sandra laughed. "After everything that drunken lout did, she still loved him."

"You wanted to help. To save those kids."

"I practically begged Regina to give me the kids…but she refused."

"Is that why you never went after Bret?"

"It was her fault. She didn't try to get the kids out."

"And all those men that you killed…their ex-wives did try?"

She nodded. "But as usual, men got in the way. They deserved it. I'm glad they're dead. I only wish I could make it last longer. The women just needed a chance."

"Like you? You just needed a chance…to be a mother…but you can't have children can you?"

"I would have been a great mother. I'd have protected them."

"You killed all those men because they were crooked, or made life more difficult to struggling mothers."

"Yeah, I did. But I was only trying to help them. Someone had to."

Eames went over to her. "Turn around." Sandra did. "Sandra Shaw you're under arrest for murder. You have the right to remain…" She cuffed the secretary's wrists.

A couple officers took Miss Shaw away.

Eames sighed. "As wrong as it is, she did help. All those family court cases will be reviewed now."

"Well you know what they say…the road to hell is paved with good intentions."

* * *

Note - Okay, there. Case is solved. Anyone thought it would be her? Hope this chapter wasn't lame. I had trouble trying to figure out how to word it.

Reviews please!


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters or plots from Law & Order: Criminal Intent.

* * *

Goren scribbled his signature across the bottom of the page. The case was solved and over with, but unlike the usual feeling of triumph and satisfaction, this time he only felt guilty. He doubted he would have been so slow on the uptake about everything if he wasn't distracted by his mom's passing, or by Hannah. 

He picked up the paper and put it into a pile of already signed documents. He scribbled another signature on a different document and repeated the pattern, letting his mind wander. This part, when all the paperwork was drawn up, was the most tedious part of his job. Though sometimes, like now, it wasn't bad. It gave him time to think.

Goren had wanted to make things right but when Hannah had answered the phone the day before, she didn't even let him talk. She just told him not to call again and hung up on him.

It was almost as though he felt himself breaking little by little. This was probably one of the worst years of his life and he doubted he could handle much more without really having some type of breakdown. First his partner, and best friend was abducted, then his mom was diagnosed, then he failed to talk a fellow officer out of killing himself. Goren had never expected to run into his brother and if he did, he would have guessed a big fight would break out, blaming his brother for running off and not once calling him nor his mother. Instead, Frank was living on the street and likely an addict.

Goren had always wondered if Frank might be sucked into other seedy elements of the city. He already was a gambling addict and all-round irresponsible guy but judging from what he told Goren when he ran into him, he was likely a drug addict as well.

He had felt guilty back then, for wishing to scream and vent all his frustrations out on his brother. And now…well Frank hadn't been seen in months.

When Hannah came along, Goren felt weak and he doubted he could withstand any more emotions. He had been filled to the rim as it was. But somehow he had been okay through the ups and downs of the case. _'That's probably a good thing.'_ He thought, _'I doubt many other cases will be this emotionally draining.'_

The thought wasn't that comforting. He wanted Hannah in his life, if only to see her face and to hear her voice. But he wouldn't be happy unless they were together. He couldn't breathe anymore.

He had screwed up relationships before but this was the worst. He had never interrogated a girlfriend before…not like this anyways. He had his suspicions a couple times but he wouldn't exactly call it 'interrogating' them. No, this was much worse because he accused her of murder, had officers come in to search her house and done all this while her kids, and her on some level, were grieving. He remembered what it was like only 6 weeks before when he lost his mother, what it felt like. To think a 14 year old and a 3 year old could handle that and what the police put them through the other day was ludicrous. He hadn't just hurt Hannah. He hurt them all.

It was a situation he didn't know how to get out of.

That was something rare for him. Usually he had some idea.

Hannah may not ever forgive him but he had to know for sure. He sighed miserably and decided he would just have to be persistent. If after all his efforts Hannah still didn't want to talk to him, then he'd have no choice but to let her go.

But he didn't dare think of that now. The idea made him sick to his stomach.

* * *

Goren rang the doorbell again, shifting uncomfortably. He had made 2 phone calls earlier but Hannah was either screening or she was working. 

Max opened the door. "What do _you_ want?"

He cleared his throat. "Can I…speak to your mom?"

"She's not here." He started to close the door. Goren put his hand up, stopping it. He took his hand away. "Could you…give her these?" He gave Max the small bouquet of white Gardenias. "I just want to…apologize and-."

Max took the flowers and scowled at him. "You screwed up. Fix it yourself." He slammed the door rudely in his face.

Goren shut his eyes and rubbed his face, feeling even worse. He fidgeted in his spot for a minute, shifting from one foot to the other, clenching and unclenching his hands, before deciding he should leave.

Hannah came out of the laundry room, carrying the basket of freshly washed clothes with her. "Who was at the door?"

"Delivery guy."

She put the basket on the floor in front of Max. He was sitting on the couch, watching tv. "Really? For what?...Fold these…I'll start dinner." She looked around. "What was delivered?"

"That." Max nodded to the flowers in the sink before grabbing a t-shirt from the pile of clean clothes.

Hannah smiled. "Flowers." She went over to them. "Are they from Bobby?"

He shrugged.

She looked over the flowers carefully. "It didn't come with a card?"

"Guess not." He lied. Max had tossed the card out, knowing his mom cared more about that than the actual flowers. He wasn't going to let Bobby get away with hurting his mom. Sure he could have thrown the flowers out or not even taken them in the first place. But smaller lies were more believable. Besides, his mom may have found the flowers on the stoop if he didn't take them, or in the trash. This way, his mom would come to the same conclusion he already formed. Goren was like ever other guy that was interested in her.

She sighed. _'Does he really think that receiving some flowers will make me run into his arms? Maybe he doesn't think he was wrong…god, of course he was wrong!...why wouldn't he write me a card?' _

She didn't know what to think, but Hannah knew the flowers alone didn't make up for anything.

* * *

Goren flipped through the stack of magazines then sat back in his chair. He didn't feel like reading. What he wanted to do was sleep but every time he laid down in his bed he just ended up staring at the water stain on the ceiling. 

He shut his eyes and wondered what his next move should be. _'Flowers…done. Formal apology…not yet. Begging for forgiveness…can't happen unless I see her face to face. Being forgiven? Not likely.' _He felt discouraged.

_'Maybe Hannah didn't feel as strongly for me as I thought…I was just being hopeful.' _Goren rubbed his eyes, sighing.

That's when it hit him.

His 'attack' on Jake, being suspended, telling Hannah, the missing grandfather clock, the $5000 payment from Hannah to Jake, the antique shop owner telling them, during the investigation, that they gave her less than the amount paid to Jake. Then there was the fact that Hannah was working all those crazy hours lately…and the suddenness of Jake's withdrawal of the charges and Goren being re-instated.

He opened his eyes and sat forward. He put a hand over his mouth as his eyes widened slightly. He muttered to himself in disbelief. "Jake blackmailed Hannah to get me re-instated?"

He let out a breath, shutting his eyes. He buried his head in his hands. _'How could she? Why? Why would she do that? I'm not worth it…she could have used that money…and now…now I look like more of an ass. She did all this and I accuse her of murder.' _The knot in his stomach tightened.

* * *

Note - Thanks for the reviews, keep 'em coming. I LOVE reviews. I know this chapter isn't much but I thought I should just post something of what I've been working on. I've been reworking the next few chapters and haven't had a lot of time to work on them so that's why the delay. I'll put up the next chapter as soon as I'm done. 


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: See previous...

* * *

Hannah sat at the table in the café, with her sketchbook open. She held a black ink pen in her hand and glanced up from the picture to get another look at the couple arguing a few tables over. She glanced down and drew few more lines around the man's eyes. She enjoyed her lunch break comfortably. 

She put the pen down and picked up her mug and took a sip. She put the mug down again and flipped the page in the sketchbook. She scribbled out a phrase that popped into mind about the general atmosphere of the café. Despite her own relaxation, it was as if the whole building was tense. Like everyone was rushing to finish their lunch.

The one phrase she had written turned into a page and a half of ironic observations and a handful of similes. She checked her watch and put her sketchbook away.

Everything in her life was different now. It was only a few days after Jake's funeral that Hannah found out he had never updated his will. Which, she was sure, had to do with him thinking he would live forever. Otherwise, he wouldn't have left her anything. In fact, now Hannah got everything. She sold everything in his apartment that the boys didn't want to keep, which was almost everything. Even Max had a few things he wanted to keep. Despite everything he still loved his father. He couldn't help it.

After putting money aside for both Noah and Max's college funds, plus a little extra, she paid off her mortgage and had a few repairs done around the house.

Hannah also got rid of the tin can she called a car, and bought a brand new Rav4 metallic blue SUV, quit the job at the diner and cut her hours back to reasonable hours at the Botanical Gardens.

The rest of the money, which was far from riches, but just enough to give a nice cushion in case they needed it; went into the bank.

She finished off her coffee, grabbed her big purse and started towards the exit. She glanced at the calendar on the wall, which was there to advertise the upcoming promotions for the store. That's when she realized what day it was. _'Oh god, was it really that long ago? 5 weeks…that's how long it's been since I last saw him…'_ Her heart tightened. She missed him. Even if she was still mad at him, she missed seeing his face and hearing his voice. Not many men had voices that she particularly liked. Normally she was indifferent about their voices, but Bobby had a nice one.

She left the café and walked down the street towards her work. _'It's been 5 weeks and not once has Bobby called or come by…does he even care?'_ She lost track of the days. It all blurred together but every night since she last saw Bobby she went to sleep miserable. Some nights she even cried.

Her eyes stung at that thought that Bobby just gave up and accepted the fact that she would never forgive him; which wasn't true. Part of her already did forgive him.

But it was his move. She couldn't just drop in out of the blue and say she forgave him. Especially since she didn't know if she should stay mad at him. Had he been using her to reel her in? To get information for the case? Was their relationship, what little they had all a lie? She hoped not, but considering he hadn't talked to her at all in the past 5 weeks, and just sent that card-less bouquet it was more likely he didn't have the same feelings for her.

* * *

Max came home from school, his friend Daj followed behind him. He bent over and picked up the mail on the floor, below the mail slot in the door. He went over to the small table with the little basket which the mail was supposed to rest in until Hannah dealt with it. He flipped through the mail curiously. 

This time, there was something new. A letter. Max took one look at who it was from and dropped it into the empty trash can underneath the table.

"What was that?"

"Junk mail." Max said flatly. He and Daj dropped their bags on the floor then sat in front of the tv and started to play one of the fighting games on X-box.

* * *

A few days later… 

Hannah stepped outside on the front stoop, wearing a matching short sleeved and shorts pajama set. They were white and pale pink checkers all over them, with a small bow at the neckline. Her long fuzzy white housecoat hung open. She walked down a couple steps and grabbed today's Ledger and hurried back inside.

After locking up she went to the table and sat down with a bagel and some tea. Hannah unrolled the paper and stared at the front of the paper, her mouth dropping open. There was a picture of Goren on the front page.

The title read _NYPD Targets Innocent Philanthropist. _The picture of Goren wasn't very flattering either, and he looked angry in it. Not that having his life splashed on the front page would really make anyone too happy.

Hannah flipped open to the page and began reading the article. It went on about how noble the man was and how generous he was financially and that Det. Goren had the wrong suspect. But that wasn't all. There was a lot of personal things about Goren's family life thrown into the article, to make it sound like he was crazy. His dad had left when he was a boy, his mother was a schizophrenic who died only a few months prior...

Hannah did a double-take, seeing that bit of information. _'3 months ago? That means she just died when he started the case…' _She felt terrible all of a sudden, then more so when she read that Goren, 'at his age' the paper wrote cruelly, has never been married, is single, has no children, and to top it off, hasn't seen his gambling-addicted brother in years. He was a 'ticking time bomb' as the Ledger called him.

"What?" Max asked, walking into the room. She was upset at something in the paper. "What's wrong? Not more terrorists is it?"

She looked up. "No." She showed him the front of the paper. "It's about Bobby."

"Oh _great_." He grumbled and went over to the fridge. "What now?"

She ignored the question and tucked her hair behind her ear. "Maybe I should call him."

"What? No you can't-" Max insisted, his anger rising.

"Why not? I just want to see if he's okay."

"Why the hell would you?! First he sleeps with you then he practically arrests you! You could be in prison now for all-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Back it up…who said anything about sleeping with him?"

"It's obvious."

She stood up from her chair. "Okay first of all, not that it's any of your business but I'm not...easy…I don't just do **that**…secondly…swearing makes your IQ drop a hundred points."

"But you and dad-"

"God do we really need to have this conversation?" Max was clearly angry and confused. Hannah sighed. "I'll put it this way…your father was the only one I was with...now let's drop it or you'll have a little too much to talk to the therapist about." She didn't want to get any more graphic about it and certainly didn't want her son thinking she was a slut.

Max blinked. "You mean he didn't…oh." He got quiet all of a sudden.

Hannah went over to him and put her hand on his shoulder. "Look, I'm a grown woman and I know you feel like you need to protect me but you don't. I'll make my own decisions and live with any consequences from those. Okay?" He nodded mutely.

She went back to her seat and finished her breakfast.

Max came over and studied the front of the paper before going on to read the article. "Well he did it…it's obvious."

"I know. You can't put in that much effort trying to sway someone unless they've got something to hide."

When Max came to the end of the article he closed the paper. "Um…is that true?"

"Which part?"

"About his family."

"I don't know…but Bobby told me about his dad. That part's true." She put her dishes into the sink and turned around and went over to her son. "I know all this is hard for you…your father…this whole situation. But, just remember that I'm always here for you. You're my boys. If…when I find someone…they're not going to replace you. No one can do that." She hugged him. "I love you…you and Noah are my life." She held on for a few seconds then kissed his forehead. "Okay?"

He nodded and kept quiet as his mom went upstairs to wake his brother. Max's stomach felt like it was burning from the guilt of what he had been doing. His mom really cared about Bobby and despite what Bobby had done to them, he seemed to care for her. He began to think that he was too hard on Bobby. After all, the man was persistent with his apologies. That was already different than his own father had been. Max wondered what he should, or rather, could do at this point. He doubted his mom would respond well if he told her he had been hiding all of Bobby's attempts to get in contact with her. She would hate Max for doing that.

* * *


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: I wish I owned Goren but unfortunately I don't...he and all things Law & Order belong to Dick Wolf and NBC.

* * *

Goren loosened his tie as he stepped into his apartment. He put his binder down and went over to the answering machine. There was one message. His heart leapt. Hannah? He pressed play.

_"Hey man, it's Lewis, just letting ya know Kevin can come with us next month. Talk to you later." _The machine beeped. Though it was a short message, Lewis rarely left long ones. This one was about the annual get together of a few of his buddies from high school. For some of them it was the only time they could see each other all year and for the rest it was only a few times a year.

The news was good but Goren still felt like crap. He just solved a case but there was pressure from Ross, who was getting pressure from the mayor. It was all because of the press coverage and far from pleasant.

He left the room and changed into a pair of blue jeans and a black t-shirt. He wondered how he could spend this Friday night as opposed to the last few. He didn't have a date but did he really want to stay here sulking?

Part of him said yes. He hadn't felt like doing much of anything lately.

While he decided he flipped through his mail and found the magazine he had been hoping would arrive soon. He opened it up and flipped through the pages until he found the story that Hannah's alias had written. He frowned, seeing that it was a re-print. _'She probably has enough to deal with and doesn't have the time.' _Goren closed the magazine and tossed it onto the pile of mail before going into the kitchen. He checked the fridge for something to eat.

All that was inside was a jug of orange juice, ketchup and mustard, and a styrofoam container from takeout at a restaurant. He didn't even remember when he got it or what it was. _'Just throw it out. It's too old…just throw it out.'_ But despite his well-honed observational skills and common sense, Goren picked up the container and opened it. A stench even he couldn't describe wafted up. It smelled worse than the dead bodies he often came across at crime scenes. He nearly gagged, quickly shut the lid and threw it into the trash. _'Brilliant Bobby, just brilliant.'_

He sighed, resigning to the fact that he'd have to get delivery again. He was sick of delivery and he didn't want to go to a restaurant at this hour on a Friday night. He would have to wait close to an hour and end up at a single table by the kitchen, probably the only single person there.

Goren grabbed one of the take out menus and studied it, debating whether or not to get it.

There was a knock on the door. He put the menu down and opened the door.

Max stood uncomfortably in the doorway, his hands shoved into his pockets. His hair was a couple inches shorter than the last time they saw each other and he looked a little more grown up. "Hey."

Goren's mouth dropped open slightly. "M-max…w-what are you…is your mom…? Did something-"

"She's okay…can I come in?"

"Uh…yeah." Goren stepped aside and let him in. "So…why are you here?"

He looked around for the first time at the detective's apartment. "Um…I sort of…" He really didn't want to see how the man was going to take the news. He looked at Goren hesitatingly. "Have a confession…"

He tilted his head. "W-what kind of confession?" He crossed his arms and waited curiously.

"I uh…I sort of thought that you would hurt mom…not in the physical sense or anything but…" He narrowed his eyes, as if he was afraid Goren would start yelling. "I hid your letters and Mom doesn't know about your phone calls…and the flowers…I took the card from it 'cause I knew she cared more about an apology than the flowers."

He stared at Max for a second before uncrossing his arms. "She…she doesn't…she thinks I don't care about her?"

"Sorry."

Goren glanced down, thinking, trying to figure out what should be done here.

A long awkward silence passed between them. Max shifted uncomfortably and tried to explain. "The guys mom's gone out with since dad…they were assholes. I just assumed that you'd be the same."

Goren looked at Max sadly. He knew what it was like to have to protect your mom even if they didn't think it was necessary. Max was misguided but at least he was admitting it. Still, he was worried that any chance he had with Hannah was gone. "Your mother…she…she must have moved on by now…"

Max shook his head. "She still wants you...I mean, wants to see you."

"Y-you don't know that." He tilted his head, his heart aching. He wanted to be with her so much.

"Yeah I do. She told me she was thinking about calling you but she was worried about how you would react."

Goren studied him, his mind racing.

Max became fascinated with the floor. "I guess there's supposed to be like a million rules when dating or something…at least from what I heard…mom doesn't really know any of them...sometimes she's a little too honest and she doesn't really know what to do here."

"What do you mean?"

He shrugged, staring at the floor. "She can't really play mind games and...telling guys she's got kids tends to send them packing."

"Oh."

Max shifted uncomfortably. "Anyways, I just thought…" He sighed. "I won't interfere anymore."

Goren chewed on his lip for a second. "How did you get here?"

"Huh?" He looked up. "Oh…subway."

"I'll drive you home."

"Actually…_technically_ I'm at my friend Daj's place…but it's not very far from my place."

He nodded and held up his hand as he headed for the hallway. "Let me just…" He disappeared.

Max let out a breath and pulled out his cell phone. It rang twice before someone picked up. He tried to keep his voice down. "Mom…hi. Um…I need to tell you something."

_"Is something wrong? Are you in trouble? What's-"_

"Relax. It's okay…um…but, well you know how you think Bobby hasn't called ever? He did, a lot and I just didn't tell you. Then he sent two letters I threw out." He talked fast so his mom couldn't interrupt. "They're in the trash under the table in the entranceway…oh and mom, I told Bobby. He's coming over in a few minutes."

_"What? How could, what?"_

"Yeah I'll be home soon so you two can go out." He hung up and turned his phone off, smiling to himself.

* * *

Hannah stared at the phone, her mouth open. What the hell just happened? She hung up the phone and tucked a phantom strand of hair behind her ear. She stood there frozen for a minute then ran downstairs and looked for the letters. They were right where her son had told her they would be. She opened them and read everything carefully.

They were both pretty much the same, but one paragraph stood out more than the rest. _There haven't been many women in my life that I've felt this way about. Actually, you're different than all the rest. I feel like you won't judge me and that maybe we could have something special._

Hannah let out a breath. _'He wasn't using me then?' _She put the letters away and hurried upstairs and into her bedroom. She put the letters on the dresser next to the dried up rose and chose an outfit from her closet and laid it out on the bed. One of her favourites from the new wardrobe she got recently.

She hurried back into the washroom and looked at herself in the mirror. Her hair was in several braids that all merged into one. She had done it earlier that afternoon. _'At least I already had a shower.'_ She brushed her teeth quickly and downed a cup of mouthwash, nearly choking on it. Noah played with one of his toys in the bathtub.

Noah's bath ended a couple minutes later. Hannah dressed him in his pajamas and put him to bed. She returned downstairs where she cleaned up the mess he made earlier when she was painting with him.

The doorbell rang.

_'Oh god, he's here! I'm not dressed.' _She thought about running upstairs, pulling her hair down from the braids, putting on some perfume, changing her clothes…but she realized he might leave.

Hannah drew in a deep breath and opened the door.

* * *


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimers: I own nothing but the OC's...blah blah blah, you get the point.

- Thank you to all my reviewers! I love you! ...I'm a junkie when it comes to reviews so please, keep feeding my habit and let the reviews fly!

* * *

Hannah reminded herself to be calm and to breathe. Her heart raced, the pounding in her ears was deafening. Just seeing him again made the butterflies come back. They were hard to ignore. Then again she wasn't really sure she wanted to ignore them. He wore a pair of black slacks and a red shirt underneath his brown suede jacket.

She unconsciously tucked a non-existent strand of hair behind her ear. "Hi."

"Hi." Goren said with his hands shoved into his pockets, giving a nervous nod. He felt like he did on his very first date all those years ago. Fumbling, uneasy, clueless, and excited. He dreaded that things would go in the opposite direction than he wanted.

Hannah was wearing a pair of old blue jeans, with her hair in a very cute set of braids and black t-shirt with the logo for the Beatles across it.

She moved out of the way and Goren nervously stepped inside. She shut the door behind him. For a minute, neither spoke. The awkward silence just stretched on. Neither knew what to say to the other, or what the other felt about the situation.

Hannah broke the silence. "I needed to, I mean, I just, I didn't-" She flustered and felt like a complete idiot, which only made her blush.

He hadn't seen her in so long and he missed everything about her. He needed to tell her that. In one swift movement Goren slid his arm around her waist, pulled her against him and kissed her.

As soon as their lips touched Hannah knew she wasn't angry anymore and any part of her that had been upset with what had happened between them, was now gone.

His kiss made the world drop away.

A little while later Goren drew from the kiss slowly and let his nose graze against hers affectionately. He drew in a deep breath, trying to get his head out of the clouds but at the same time, not wanting to.

He let her go. "I'm sorry….I shouldn't have." He rubbed the back of his neck and looked at her guiltily. Things were confusing enough between them without trying to force a relationship on them. Everything was up to Hannah and he didn't know how she felt. Right now, he was certain that she was attracted to him but that wasn't what he was concerned about.

Hannah blinked and took a deep breath. "It's…fine."

"You probably think…that this is…out of the blue…"

She tucked the phantom strand again. "Actually Max called me a little while ago and told me. You've been trying to talk to me all this time?"

He scratched his ear. "Yeah…but…I could have done more. Stopped by work…"

They were both silent for a minute. What could she say to that? It was a good point. He never had stopped by her work; though, his lunch hours weren't scheduled like hers so it would have made things a little difficult to plan. Hannah didn't really care that he hadn't stopped by work though. She felt he had done enough. She blurted out. "Were you using me? To get me to open up about the case?"

He hadn't realized she would have thought of that but it made sense. "No. I was…I let my personal feelings get in the way of the case…first when we…then when I was questioning you." He sighed and rubbed his face. "I thought…I thought you were using _me_…until I realized you were innocent…Hannah, I'm…I-I'm sorry."

She sighed. "It's okay."

"It is?" He asked, surprised.

She nodded. "I've been trying to put myself in your position and I figure it can't be easy. I mean, meeting someone at work…when your job is what it is." She paused. "Did you mean what you said in your letters?"

"You got them?"

"Max told me where they were."

"In the trash?"

"The one reserved for the mail."

"Oh."

"So…did you?"

He fidgeted and gave a nod, barely looking at her.

She let out a breath and smiled softly. "You wrote that you wanted to start over….so do I."

He lifted his head hopefully. "Really?"

She nodded. "Yeah."

His heart continued to race, but for a completely different reason. "So…if I were to…ask you out…you would accept?"

She smiled. "In a heartbeat."

He smiled. "How about tonight? Do you…want to go out?"

She nodded. "Yes." It took all her self control not to shriek like a giddy school girl.

He fidgeted some more, smiling. "Okay then-"

"Mommy, my story!" Noah shouted from his room in annoyance.

They chuckled. Hannah almost forgot that she had promised to read to him right after she tidied up. She motioned behind her. "I'll just…it should only be a few minutes…and I'll change."

"Oh. A sitter…unless you wanted to eat in."

She shook her head. "Max said he'll be by shortly."

He blinked. "He's…sneaky." He lifted himself onto the balls of his feet briefly before lowering to the flats of his feet.

"Feel free to roam." She knew Goren was a curious man.

Hannah went upstairs and first read her son a story then put on the clothes she had laid out. She took her hair out of the braids and brushed it out, leaving her hair in waves. She used a thin red ribbon and put it in her hair, using it as a headband. The jewellery she wore was the same as what she wore the day she met Goren. The sweater came to her waist and was button up that came to the neckline. It was a scoop neck and almost appeared to have thin straps; but, it did have sleeves that came to the wrist. The shoulder and upper portion of the bicep were cut out and the sleeves were attached at the breast.

The skirt came to her knees and swayed when she walked. It was a purple plaid, but despite the older styles of plaid clothes, this skirt actually looked good because it was more subtle. She finished getting ready, took a deep breath to calm her nerves and left the room.

Hannah came down the stairs carefully in her high heels. Goren was curiously looking through the closet, wondering about all the new coats in there. He turned to ask her about it but he got a little distracted. His heart started to race. "You look…" His eyes scanned her as he took a deep breath. It was another of those outfits that seemed cute yet borderline sophisticated. He was glad she didn't wear black. Too many women always wore black on dates, and while it was okay once in awhile, he had wished the last few women he had gone out with wore something a little less…predictable.

He finally got the word out. "Beautiful."

She smiled excitedly at him, glad they were finally going to have some time together. She reached the bottom step. "Thank-" Her heel caught on the step and she tripped.

She fell forward. Goren caught her.

Hannah giggled and looked up at him. "Good thing I didn't do anything embarrassing."

He chuckled and watched her amused, as she straightened herself up. "Have you considered…n-not wearing high heels?"

"It wouldn't make a difference. I trip over air…at least this way I can wear pretty shoes."

He snickered and rubbed his neck, picturing her doing just that.

The front door opened and Max came inside, followed by his friend Daj. "Hey." The room filled with tension. Hannah turned to Goren. "Could you excuse us for a minute?"

He gave a nod. "S-sure."

Hannah motion towards the hall. Max walked all the way down to the laundry room to wait for her. She introduced Goren to the other teenager. "Bobby this is Daj, Daj this is Bobby." She headed for the room at the end of the hall.

"Hi." Daj said uncomfortably.

Goren gave a nod, shifting from one foot to the other. "Daj…is that Croatian?"

He blinked. "Yeah. How'd you know?"

"It's the name of a Croatian city."

"Yeah. Mom and dad met there. Dad was visiting a friend."

"Is it your dad that's from Egypt?"

"Yeah." Daj looked at him amazed. Everyone just assumed he was from Iraq, despite being born in the U.S. "How did you know that? Did Max tell you?"

He shook his head and pointed to the ring on Daj's right middle finger. "That's Egyptian isn't it?"

He nodded, wide eyed. "You can read Egyptian?"

Goren smiled. "Uh, no. I just recognize the style from an article I read once."

A few minutes later, Max and Hannah reappeared. She took a couple twenties from her purse and gave them to her son. "Pizza and for an emergency. Daj you can stay over tonight if you want. Try not to wake Noah and if there's a problem, call."

"K."

Hannah went without a jacket since it was such a beautiful night. Goren opened the door for her. She turned to her son adding, "lock up and set the alarm."

"K."

With that, they left.

* * *


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimers: If I owned L&O:CI I would rich wouldn't I? Well since I'm not then its safe to say I do not own CI nor it's characters. They all belong to Dick Wolf and NBC.

* * *

"So…were you strict with him?" Goren smirked, knowing very well that she wasn't, not if she let her son's friend stay over. He started the engine and checked his mirrors before pulling out.

"No. I gave him a pass. I figure he's still going through a lot, what with his dad and all, and he did confess…but I made it clear that if he pulls anything like this again he'll be grounded for the rest of his life."

"Wow…that's…harsh." He smiled. "It'll be tough for him to get dates."

"Good. With all the things I hear about some of the kids at his school I'd almost prefer it if he was Quasimodo."

Goren chuckled. "So…what's your favourite food?"

"Hot fudge sundae."

He grinned at her.

"Oh, right! A restaurant…" She bit her lip, embarrassed at her stupidity. She didn't want to come across as a moron for their first date. "Chinese."

He gave a nod. "I know a great place on Sixth Avenue."

"Sounds good."

They parked in a lot around the corner from the restaurant and went inside. Goren really liked this place. It had great food and it was one of the restaurants closest to authentic Chinese ambiance you could get in the city. Well, asides from actually dining in Chinatown. But this place was his favourite for other reasons; of which, the friendly staff and the calming music were just a couple.

"Ah, Mr. Goren…the usual?"

He shook his head. "Table for two, Hugo." He fidgeted, wondering what Hannah would think of this place. He hoped she liked it. This place was one of semi-regular restaurants he went to. It almost felt like a rejection against the restaurant would be a rejection against him. His stomach did flip flops.

The old host smiled knowingly. Goren showed up once or twice a month for the last several years and always had he eaten alone. It was just a place for the man to dine by himself in peace and he always took dates elsewhere. He definitely liked this place, but it was always a solitary venture for the detective, so if Goren brought a date here then it must be of some importance.

"And who is this lovely young woman?"

"Uh...H-hannah." Goren awkwardly introduced them. He held out his hand motioning to Hannah. He hadn't thought of having to give introductions tonight. It felt strange to be introducing her to the restaurant host, or to anyone for that matter. It _was_ their first date after all. He motioned to the man. "Hugo."

"Hi." Hannah smiled cheerfully. "You have a nice place here."

"Beautiful and polite. Don't screw this one up." Hugo joked.

Goren looked down, shifting from one foot to the other. "A table?" He glanced up at Hugo uncomfortably. _'What I **really** need is for people to remind me that I could very well fuck up this already delicate situation and that Hannah is someone special. Someone great that I might chase off...do they really think I don't know this?'_

Hugo looked at the book. "Unfortunately the next opening is for 10:40."

Goren looked at his watch then asked disappointed, "Two hours?"

"You expected to be seated right away?" The host asked. "Without a reservation?"

"Uh, no…it's just…two hours…" He was worried that Hannah would want to go home early. He didn't know if she liked to stay out late on her dates or not…because of her kids. She might not feel comfortable about it because the circumstances were different than they were when she had to be out late for work.

"Even if you book a reservation now most places will be at least that long."

"I don't mind waiting." Hannah piped up.

Goren sighed, hoping this wouldn't add to the negative impression Hannah already had of him. Part of him still doubted that she forgave him and he didn't want to press his luck. He gave a nod to the host. "Okay...put us down, for the next table."

"That should be ready at 10:40."

"10:40." Goren muttered as he and Hannah left the building.

She did her best to hide her smile. _'He really doesn't like when things don't go his way.' _She tucked her hair behind her ear. "You said Bryant Park was around here…I don't think I've actually been there before."

He raised his eyebrows. "You haven't?" Well it did make sense. She stuck mainly to Brooklyn and she used to work insane hours and had the kids to look after. He doubted she would have the time during the day and was equally sure she wouldn't have felt comfortable taking the kids all the way downtown by herself at night. He gave a nod. "It's uh…this way." After Goren suggested they walk, they started towards the park.

Once on the park grounds they stopped at the café. There were a lot of people there too, but they managed to get a table. They shared a piece of cheesecake, not wanting to spoil their meal but also not wanting to die of starvation either. Afterwards they wandered around the park just taking their time and talking.

Hannah found the easy-going atmosphere of the date comforting. It helped with her nerves. The last date she had been on the man was just too concerned about getting things done. He was obsessed with the schedule, and though Hannah liked being on time and was usually neurotic in that sense, she didn't like when it sucked all the fun out of the experience. What made it even less fun was the not-so-subtle hints her date gave her that let her know he really had a motive to rushing through dinner. It was so much fun Hannah had looked forward to her next trip to the dentist. Regardless, it had been one of those dates that made her keep checking her watch.

As for this date, she didn't even bring a watch and she didn't need to. It was nice and she didn't feel any pressure from Goren to do one thing or another. He did most of the talking and she listened intently. He had a way of making anything fascinating and Hannah just wanted him to keep talking so she could learn more about him and what he found interesting. Goren talked about the who's, why's, and how's of the monuments around the park when they approached them. He went on excitedly about them, waving his hands around, as if he was dying to talk about them to someone who was genuinely interested, and she was. It was part of what made her want to be a writer. She was a curious person by nature.

They went up to the library and wandered about on the terrace. Apparently Goren knew a lot about the library. "…the terrace was designed to..._elevate_...the building above surrounding streets...to provide a place to…for people to gather and…for a setting for public sculptures." He paused, realizing he had just rambled on for a long time and didn't include her in the conversation. _'She must really think I love the sound of my own voice...I should let her know that I do want to know what she thinks...include her in the conversation...god she's so beautiful...focus!'_ "Do you sculpt?"

"Nooo." She smiled. "The last time I made a sculpture the finished product looked like something Picasso would do…except in my case I was trying to make a vase."

He chuckled. "Well…I'm sure that…that it would be a lot nicer than my attempts."

"I don't think that's true. You're probably better than you think."

He shook his head. "I'm not…artistic."

"Everyone's artistic…whether they're good or not, that's another story."

He smiled at that bit of insight. He liked how she thought. "There's a…some lions over here…" He led the way and showed her to the statues, asking her opinion on them. Goren tried to remind himself not to get too heavy with the intellectual stuff, not on the first date. Sometimes his dates got intimidated. Actually, that happened a lot. Other times he just bored them. He didn't want to screw up this date.

They gravitated to the fountain afterwards and started talking about it casually. Hannah took out a quarter and tossed it into the fountain, making a wish. Goren followed her lead. He tossed the penny into the water, not even having to think about his wish. He noticed there were only a couple quarters, aside from theirs, laying at the bottom of the fountain. He pointed at each quarter in the water. "It was cleaned out tonight...already, by the...by one of the homeless people that come here..." He looked around and noticed a shabbily dressed woman walking up ahead. "Her."

"How do you know that?" Hannah asked, interested.

"She's holding her pocket...like she's protecting something...to make sure the money doesn't...f-fall out. And her sleeve's wet."

She smiled and raised her eyebrows at him. She didn't notice any of that. But what she found more curious was that stealing from a public fountain was illegal and Goren would obviously know that. He didn't think it worthy of arresting a homeless woman and putting her through more trials than she already must be going through. It showed real class. Hannah felt like she was melting again.

Goren fidgeted, mentally berating himself. _'God I can't stop being a detective for one night? Look at me I just had to point out all that...I couldn't just keep my mouth shut?'_ He scratched behind his ear. "I know it ruins the…premise of…wishing for something but…what did you wish for?"

She snickered. "Nope. Not going to tell you."

"Aw I'll tell you mine." He smiled, suddenly relaxing a little at the sight of her smile.

"I want my wish to come true."

He fidgeted and rocked on his feet. "Then I won't tell you mine."

"Okay." She giggled. He frowned slightly, defeated, realizing she really could wait to hear his wish.

"Well could you give me a hint?"

"Okay." She pause, thinking about it. "It has something to do with-"

Just then, they felt a couple of droplets of water fall onto them. They looked up. Goren put a hand on her arm. "C'mon I think it's going to rain." They took a few steps and that's when it just started to pour.

Goren took her hand and they ran to the nearest shelter, which happened to be a bus shelter. But by the time they got there they were already drenched. Goren rung out the bottom of his sweater, groaning in annoyance. He frowned at Hannah. "Should have brought…umbrella…sorry." He fidgeted nervously.

She was just as uncomfortable as he was but tried to make light of it. "At least it's not cold."

He rubbed the back of his neck. "Well…"

Hannah used her finger and tried to wipe away any makeup under her eyes. "I must look like a raccoon."

"You look fine." He flinched as he said it. _'Fine...just great, I had to say that.'_ It was a word that got him into trouble sometimes. Fine, as in, not beautiful...at least that's what he was told it meant. It was news to him but that's what a couple of his girlfriends had been insulted by in the past. All he meant by it was that she had looked good and nothing was wrong. "Uh...I mean, good...you look...good." Goren scratched the side of his head. _'Great that slip up and the rain...now our date has to end early…and it was going so well…' _The last thing he wanted to do was suggest to end the night but he knew it was coming.

"What time is it?"

He looked at his watch. "9:30." His stomach was all tied up in knots. _'Here it comes…'_

"Well since we're already soaked we could walk back to the car. I saw a Laundromat down the street from it?"

He blinked. "Laundromat? Wait, you mean…you're okay with…stopping to dry our clothes?"

"If you are…" She tucked her hair behind her ear. "If well…ya know, the place isn't sketchy and we're not standing around naked."

His lips curved up into a grin and gave a nod. "Okay."

This time they didn't bother running since it wouldn't have made a difference either way; besides, running in high heels was difficult for Hannah so Goren figured he'd go easy on her.

He was surprised though when she slipped her arm through his and actually commented on liking how the rain felt on her face. At first he didn't know if she was serious but she was.

By the time they got to the car the rain began to let up and died into a drizzle.

"Blankets…" Goren said simply before grabbing some from his trunk, along with his jacket from the front seat. They headed for the Laundromat and slipped inside.

As luck would have it, it seemed to be a decent place. The only other people in there were a couple of college boys. Hannah went up to a mirror on the far wall and used a paper towel to wipe her makeup off. She then took the ribbon out from her hair and ran her fingers through it, pulling her hair back into a ponytail. She tied it off with the ribbon.

She went back over to where Goren was. He was already barefoot and he was stuffing paper towels into his shoes to get the worst of the water out. A small packet of detergent and a sheet of fabric softener were on one of the washers. Goren got them out of an overpriced dispenser by the entrance.

"So how is this going to work?"

"W-we wear the blankets while…while everything dries." He then realized what she meant. "I'll hold the blanket up…you can…strip...behind it and…take the blanket and wrap it around yourself." He motioned with his hands at the last part.

Hannah glanced in the direction of the college boys and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

Goren took a blanket, unfolded it and demonstrated what he meant. "See? You and the blanket will be…behind me. I can't look….and they can't see."

"Okay." She spoke uneasily and wondered if this was a stupid idea or not. What was she thinking? Undressing in public…in New York City. It wasn't exactly the safest nor the smartest thing to do. Though, she had Goren with her. He would protect her if anything happened.

Goren held the blanket behind him. It wasn't the most comfortable of things but couldn't help but see this as a trust exercise.

Hannah slipped off her skirt, looking around uneasily, just in case someone in the laundromat or outside could see her. They couldn't. Goren and the blanket blocked everyone's views.

Once her skirt was off she pulled her sweater off, then the rest of her clothes. As soon as they hit the floor she stepped up to Goren and pulled the blanket over herself. She wrapped herself in it tightly so there was no chance of it falling off.

Goren handed her his jacket. "You can wear this too."

"Thanks." She smiled gratefully at him and pulled on the jacket, zipping it up quickly. The jacket itself came to her mid thigh and it was huge on her.

They did the same thing for Goren. He fashioned one of the blankets over himself like a toga, a short one and tied it securely. "Done." He lowered the blanket she was holding in front of her face and Hannah smiled at him approvingly. "Very Nice."

He smiled and gathered their clothes, minus his wallet, keys and cell phone which sat next to their shoes on a washer. He then put their clothes into a machine and got it started.

"You want to sit down?"

"Yeah but there's no-"

Goren put his hands on her hips and picked her up. He sat her on an unused washer next to their things. He hopped on the one next to her and pulled the spare blanket over himself, a little self-conscious about his weight and how he looked in the toga.

"You know I've never been in a laundromat before." Hannah suddenly felt very sheltered. _'Who in New York **hasn't **been to a laundromat?'_

"You haven't?"

"No, I never needed to." She tucked her hair again.

He leaned over, smirking. "Well I've never had a date in one before."

She smiled. "I think like laundromats."

"They're underappreciated."

"And judging by what _those_ boys are wearing I'd say they're underused too."

Goren glanced over his shoulder at the college boys and chuckled. They looked like complete slobs. "It could be why they don't…have dates on a Friday night."

"Or this might be _their_ date."

He grinned and gave a nod. "Could be." He glanced over his shoulder again. "But judging by the way they're looking at you…well I think you're more their type."

"You sure they're looking at _me_?"

"Who could take their eyes off you?"

She looked down, beaming, feeling her cheeks warm. She bit her lip for a second before letting it go and glancing up at him. He was definitely charming.

* * *

Note - There you go! The first bit of their date. More to come, reviews please! 


	22. Chapter 22

Disclaimer: The usual...

* * *

Goren, now wearing the freshly cleaned and dried clothes, held the blanket up for her. He couldn't help but wonder what she looked like underneath all her clothes. He hoped he could see for himself soon, just how beautiful she was underneath it all. He wasn't naïve. He knew Hannah's type and with her history, he knew she wouldn't rush right to bed. He would have to be patient. 

Of course, that's assuming Hannah even wanted to see him again. _'Did she want a second date? Maybe she was being polite and didn't want to hurt his feelings. She could very well regret all of this. I mean, we've just spent the past hour and a half of our date in a Laundromat…though I have to admit it was fun.'_

"I'm done."

He lowered the blanket. Hannah was fully dressed and adjusting her skirt.

There was something vulnerable about being naked, and especially on the first date. For some reason Goren felt like he had been exposed and had no other choice but to be straight with her about a couple things. Nothing too serious but still, he hadn't really opened up like that in a long time. Goren wasn't well known for opening up to people.

Of course, his feelings of vulnerability required him to overcompensate and make several light hearted jokes afterwards. That had only made him feel like an idiot because he was certain Hannah knew what he was doing, despite not saying so. It was his stupidity, for trying to act collected that forced him to just change the subject entirely. Goren didn't know why he did it but he actually pointed out the abandoned dishtowel resting on one of the machines. Somehow it occurred to him that it would make a nice checker board.

One thing led to another and while they had been waiting for their clothes to dry, they ended up using their change as pieces on the checker board.

To his relief, Hannah went along with his lame idea and was pleasantly surprised when she seemed to get into the game. He was even more surprised when she started to get competitive with him, despite the undeniable fact that she was really no competition at all. Goren doubted he had ever seen anyone as bad at checkers at her. At least, for someone who claimed to have played before. He had fun annihilating her and was pleased that she wasn't one to become sour at the thought, or in her case, at the reality of losing.

* * *

After the laundromat they went to the restaurant and were even a few minutes early for their reservation. They were seated in a booth near the back, one that was out of the way and gave them lots of privacy. Goren was grateful because he didn't want people staring. He knew they'd all be wondering the same thing he did. What was _she_ doing with _him_? He was a surprisingly insecure man and even knowing that many women found him attractive never really mattered. His personality, mannerisms, and quirks balanced everything out. Then there was the abadonment issues he had, which was also to blame for his uneasiness. _'What **is** she doing with me anyways?' _The thought ran through his head for the first twenty minutes at the restaurant but it gradually faded. The only remaining thoughts that his mind wandered to was about how lucky he was and that he wanted people to see that him with such a beautiful and remarkable woman. He wanted to show her off. 

He liked everything about her. The way she would dab at her mouth a lot with the napkin, the way she smoothed her skirt a few times under the table in an attempt to calm her nerves, and the simple fact that she ate. There was none of the phoniness of pretending to be hungry and then simply ordering a salad. She was hungry so she ate and left nothing on the plate. It was refreshing.

Every so often while he was talking he'd find himself losing his train of thought and pausing much too long for his own comfort. He couldn't help it if she was stunning him into silence.

They remained at the restaurant well after they finished their meal and Goren kept dismissing the irritating waiter, who found it necessary to come by in what felt like five minute intervals to ask if they wanted anything else to eat or drink. The detective didn't even look at him, he'd lift his hand up slightly, give a definitive 'no' and continue talking with Hannah.

Finally, the waiter had his revenge. At least that's what Goren thought at first. "Hate to do this but I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

"What? Why?" Goren tore his eyes away from Hannah then looked around. "Oh." They were the last patrons and many of the tables were already cleaned and the chairs were put on top of them. He smiled sheepishly. "Right." He glanced at Hannah sheepishly, surprised he was so deep into the conversation that he, a big city detective failed to notice the most obvious signs that the restaurant was closing.

Hannah pulled her purse over her shoulder while Goren gave the waiter his credit card. "Wait." He held up his hand. "You can't leave without this." He lightly tossed her the fortune cookie. She caught it easily enough.

"Oh I can't believe I almost forgot." She opened hers and pulled the fortune out. "What's yours say?"

"Good fortune comes to those who wait." He put it aside and broke off a piece of the cookie. "I've gotten that one before…what's yours say?" He popped the cookie into his mouth.

"Let your smile be your umbrella." She smiled at him. "I'm not sure that would have helped earlier."

He smirked and popped another piece of the cookie into his mouth before the waiter brought the bill and his credit card over to him.

* * *

It was really late when Goren walked Hannah to the front door. He began fidgeting. _'This is ridiculous. We've already kissed a few times…it's not like there's all this pressure…but what if she was only being polite and didn't have as much fun as I did?' _It occurred to him that though this was probably the most fun he had in years she might feel otherwise. _'Maybe that was her wish earlier at the fountain…to end this date. But then why would she not take an out when it started raining? What **was** her wish?'_

She thought he'd say something about their date in general, ask her to go out again, or tell her he'd call her. But he didn't. When they reached the front door and she played with her keys a little, Goren simply asked, "what did you wish for?"

She blinked. "Wish?"

"The quarter, at the fountain…"

"Oh." She smiled and shook her head. "You have to tell me yours first."

He tilted his head to the side, reluctantly giving in. "Not to be called away to work tonight…you?"

She smiled mischievously. "I'll give you a hint. It comes after 'miss me, miss me, now you gotta-'."

_'Kiss me.'_ Goren thought, grinning. She barely got out the word 'gotta' when he kissed her. It was rather exciting, knowing that she was so much fun and so wonderful to talk to, and of course, to kiss. He gave her several short pecks on the lips before they deepened it.

He thought again about how much he wanted to wake up next to her but he pushed those particular thoughts from his mind. Instead, he focussed on the way she made his stomach flip flop and the feeling of her lips and tongue against his own. When he finally drew from the kiss he felt dazed. He grinned at her and fidgeted some more. Hannah beamed. "Call me?"

"Only if you...come out with me...t-tomorrow…well, I guess that would be tonight…"

She nodded. "If you insist."

He grinned and motioned to the door. Hannah turned around and unlocked it.

"Goodnight." He kissed her quickly before leaving. He stopped at his car and smiled to himself, rubbing the back of his neck. It was definitely a date he would remember.

* * *

Note - Feedback please! Reviews are like heroin... 

Also, I know it's been awhile, I've got a lot of things going on so hopefully I'll be able to get the next chapter up within the week.


	23. Chapter 23

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters or basis premise of the show L&O:CI. I don't claim to and make no money off of this.

* * *

For a second date it went just as well as their first one. Only this time it had been less unpredictable as the previous night. 

Goren slipped a hand into her coat, resting his hand on her waist. He enjoyed her kisses so much he knew he would never get sick of them. He had felt so good about their date the night before that he had the urge all day to go dancing.

So tonight he had taken her to a Jazz club. He had also been surprised that Hannah hadn't been to a club before and he quickly realized that it seemed her marriage had been far more one sided than he thought. Goren was certain without even asking her, that Jake and Hannah rarely went out at all. He would later find out that this was correct. Hannah had been stuck taking care of the kids while her husband neglected and ignored all of them.

He would never let that happen and he tried to prove himself tonight.

The club had used to be one of his favourites as an old-school style Jazz bar but to his surprise the club had been revamped. There were more lights, smoke, strange and unnecessary décor choices and a younger crowd.

Though he wasn't exactly 'old' compared to the other people there he was probably on the higher end of the spectrum. It seemed a place suited for people in their late twenties to mid forties. At first he was a little thrown by everything but the place still had good music.

To his astonishment, Hannah was a great dancer. And even more shocking was the fact that she was actually graceful. Well, that only applied when she was on the dance floor anyways, and she did like to dance.

The whole night had been great. Not only did they have a lot of fun but it was romantic too; but, if he had to choose a highlight of the night, it was when he saw Hannah's dress for the first time. He had taken her coat off and given it to the coat check woman with his own jacket. He doubted he would forget that moment, when he turned and saw her standing patiently for him, ready to go on into the club.

He half expected her to wear something dressy but still cute, but she didn't. He nearly passed out when he saw her.

Tonight Hannah was scorching. There was nothing 'cute' about what she was wearing. Her hair was up, twisted and tucked under itself with a sparkling silver flower to hold it in place. Her earrings had been long dangly and silver. Her necklace was silver with three horizontal, fake emeralds on it. The dress came to just above her knees, it was held up by thin spaghetti straps, and also had off the shoulder straps that were an inch wide. Just under the thicker straps were three rows of beads. They attached to the dress just under the arm and acted like they were additional straps, though they hung loose, being there purely for decoration. The beads were all tiny glass jade and emeralds.

The dress came down in a low scoop neck which showed a good portion of cleavage. The rest of the dress was plain, except for a thin sheer layer of an emerald colour underneath the dress's top layer of forest green. The back was open until her lower back, where there was a gradual scoop. It was a classic tease, making sure there was no way for her backside to show.

Everything about the dress was so her and yet, so different. It was a big turn on.

Goren pulled her closer.

Hannah felt herself falling. Everything was spinning. Was it possible to fall in love with someone every time you saw them?

Hannah drew from the kiss and took a deep breath. "Robert…"

He smiled at her, his eyes dancing happily. "Hannah."

She smiled, feeling her insides turn to mush. "I need to…about…us."

He blinked. Was it a rejection? He waited, his heart racing. He tried to steel himself for the bad news.

"Um…" She tried to discreetly run her finger under her lip to make sure she didn't smudge her lipstick. "I know that maybe this is early to say this…but…I just want you to know that…well, with me…I just…you need to have patience with me. I mean, I take time…I don't want to rush things."

His lips curved into a smile. "I know…I don't want to rush this either."

She raised her eyebrows. "Really?"

"Nothing we do will be good if you're not enthusiastic about it…besides…half the fun is the chase."

She smiled. "Good…but…when I am ready, I'll let you know. I may even put up a big flashing neon light." She blushed, picturing something seedy and unlike anything either of them wanted.

Goren smiled again at her defence mechanism of choice. "Good to know…" he leaned in to kiss her but hesitated. "Can I?"

She nodded cheerfully. "Kissing...you don't have to ask." She shut her eyes as his lips touched hers again. After a minute he reluctantly drew from her and asked hopefully. "Tomorrow?"

"Oh…"

He frowned and tried to get his bearings. _'She doesn't want to see me?' _He smiled the best he could. "O-or…whenever."

"No I'm not giving you the brush off or anything…its my boys. We try to make Sunday a family day. We usually do something in the afternoon and go out to dinner."

He relaxed and smiled warmly. "I see."

"Well, we can have lunch first? I mean, all of us…we can have lunch and then I'll spend the rest of the day with the boys…but I get it if you're not comfortable with that yet. I don't want to push, I mean-" She shut up for a second when Goren cupped her face. "Sorry I've never done this before."

He smiled and kissed her softly. "I want to come."

"But…?"

"No buts…where and when should we meet?"

The butterflies fluttered around in her stomach, trying to escape. She wondered how Bobby could be single for so long. Why anyone would let him go was beyond her. He was interested in connecting with her kids, which was more than a lot of men would do, especially so early in their relationship. He was by far the best man she had ever dated.

* * *

Note - just something to tide you over...please read & review. I love reviews... 


	24. Chapter 24

Disclaimer: Dick Wolf, NBC and other rich people own CI...hey, maybe if I get rich I could own CI too. Hmmm...

Note - I know this chappie is mostly fluff but I had fun writing it...I hope to add a little more to the overall plot later.

* * *

Goren studied himself in the mirror. He had a blue dress shirt on with no tie and a pair of semi-casual slacks. He looked good, but his overall outfit was more like what he would wear on a date. He didn't exactly know where they were going for lunch so he didn't know what it required. 

He fidgeted, feeling a knot in his stomach. He already knew that Max didn't like him and was probably just going to put on a nice front for his mother. He had no idea how to win him over and the more he thought of it the more he felt out of place. Why didn't he just say no? _'Because I wanted to please Hannah…and well let's face it, the kids do intrigue me and if things get serious between Hannah and me…' _Goren rubbed the back of his neck and shuffled his feet. _'What am I doing?'_

He nervously went over to the phone and picked it up. He stared at the buttons for a minute before making a decision. He was relieved that Hannah answered. He could almost see her smile as she spoke. "It's me…Bobby…uh, I just…w-wanted to know…what kind of…r-restaurant are we going to?"

Hannah's voice responded through the receiver. "Max mentioned the Olive Garden…so just wear something casual."

"Oh, okay…uh…that's…all." He scratched the side of his head.

"Bobby are you nervous?"

"I'm okay…but, well…" He trailed off, not sure if he should admit to how nervous he was or not, let alone his fear of never being accepted by the kids; and of course, he definitely did not want to tell her how worried about their own relationship he was. Already he was afraid she'd get sick of him and leave. Everyone left him. His dad, his brother, all of his girlfriends, and his mom...twice. First it had been when she started to pay more attention to Frank than to him, something that had progressed into full blown favouritism. Secondly, through no fault of her own, when she died. _'Everyone leaves...Hannah will too.'_

She could tell he was nervous. "Just be yourself…and don't worry if Max doesn't say much he's not a big talker usually."

"Uh, okay…I'll see you later…bye." He hung up and ran a hand through his hair, as if that would help him breathe. He couldn't help but think of all the stories how step parents never could win over their step kids, and how they were doomed to be outsiders in their new families. Goren wondered if he ever got to the point where they could be called a family, if this would happen. But then, knowing what he did about Max he doubted he'd get that far.

They met up at the restaurant and were seated right away. It was at a table instead of a booth. Hannah and Goren were across from each other while Max was next to him and Noah was next to Hannah. The little boy was on a booster seat so he could reach the table.

Goren fidgeted like mad but he tried to keep a cool head. He only started to relax once the food came, despite the tension between the teen and the detective. Max believed Goren held a grudge against him for keeping him from his mom and Goren thought Max only tolerated him because it meant something to Hannah. Still, they both pretended everything was alright and the lunch they all had together wasn't bad, despite the tension between the two.

When they were done and leaving the restaurant Hannah asked Max to wait with Noah while she said goodbye. Hannah and Goren went out front for some privacy. "Thank you for coming."

"I-it was the first time…I've done that."

She smiled. "Me too…but you did fine…and thank you." She stood on her tip toes and kissed him softly.

He smiled, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "C-can you get a sitter on Tuesday?" He asked because she still felt most comfortable having someone a little older than Max look over them. But if she couldn't find someone, the job would fall to her eldest son.

"I think I can arrange it."

"Good. Tuesday, seven o'clock. Casual. I'll pick you up." He kissed her cheek then left. It didn't occur to him until later that all his eagerness could be misconstrued as desperation. He hoped Hannah didn't think that about him. Goren wanted to spend time with her. As much as he could, because he loved her.

* * *

Hannah checked her phone. It read 7:33pm. She scolded herself for looking at it so often. She had been ready for their date for the past hour. She had chosen her favourite pair of black jeans, with her copper belt with the sunflower at the front, along with her t-shirt that had patterns of squares overlapping each other, all over it. There were a few white squares in the background and several large red and pink squares in the foreground. Her hair was down, half of it pulled back in a plain elastic. She had spent a half hour alone trying to get her hair just right. First she had thought about putting it up then she thought about curling it, and then she straightened it and did a simple hair do instead. 

She put her cell phone down on the table and decided to put her waiting time to good use and wash the dishes. She scrubbed the dishes frustrated, and hoped Goren wasn't standing her up. It didn't seem like something he would do. In the very least, he'd call to cancel. Noah and the sitter, Nancy, played at the table, putting different shaped blocks into different shaped containers. It was an old game but Noah decided he wanted to play with it.

"Juice please!" He put his blocks down and waited. Nancy went into the kitchen and poured some apple juice into a tall plastic cup and brought it over to the boy.

"What do you say?" Hannah asked over her shoulder.

"Thank you." He said before taking a sip.

"Good honey." She returned her attention back to the dishes. One thing that irritated her was tardiness. She could never be late and she half-expected everyone to be the same way. It went hand in hand with her neurosis, though, oddly enough she always calmed down once she arrived at whatever obligation or event she had planned. Hannah glanced at the clock. 7:37pm. She sighed, hoping Goren wasn't cancelling on her.

* * *

Goren quickly shut his binder and zipped it up, jumping to his feet. The debriefing had run longer than he expected and it was difficult to remain focussed on the discussion. 

Ross raised his eyebrows. "Did I say something?"

"I have a..." Goren started to the door and put his hand on the knob. "I gotta..."

"Go. I'll see you tomorrow." Ross went over to the hangers behind his desk and grabbed his own coat.

Eames got to her desk as Goren was making a phone call. He tapped his fingers anxiously on his desk. "What's up?" She asked curiously.

"Uh...waiting..."

"For? Are you going out with Hannah again?"

"Well..."

She smiled. "You move fast, you old dog."

Goren hung up after the sixth ring. "No answer...phone's probably busy." He dialed another number and waited, glancing at the clock.

* * *

Hannah called up the stairs. "Max is the phone free?!" 

"I'm using it!"

She sighed and started up the stairs. When she got to his room she hung anxiously in the doorway. "I need the phone for five minutes."

"I'm talking to Daj." He said annoyed. "Besides aren't you supposed be on your date?"

"Bobby's late..."

"That must be driving you nuts."

She came into his room and noticed the instant messenger name. "Isn't that Daj?"

"Yeah."

"You're on the phone with him and you're online with him at the same time?"

"Yeah."

"Why don't you just go over to his house?"

"School night remember? His parents won't let him out...hey what are-"

Hannah typed a quick message into the computer. _Sorry but Max needs to get off the phone now. _"But they let him hog up the phone and the internet?" She backed away from the computer.

"Well you do...yeah...she needs it for five minutes...yeah bye." He hung up and gave her the phone.

"For someone so quiet you talk a lot." She pressed the 'talk' button. The phone made a couple beeps. She put it to her ear. "Batteries dead."

"Oh...sorry." Max smiled, shaking his head. "Guess you should have caught me earlier...where's your cell?"

"I don't know. One second it was there then it wasn't. I wasn't really paying attention. I was hoping I could use this phone to call my cell..." She left the room in a huff and brought the portable back downstairs and put it in its cradle so it could recharge.

* * *

Goren hung up the receiver and glanced at the clock. He was already 40 minutes late and he knew it would take at least twenty minutes to get across town. It wasn't good. 'You could have at least called'. He knew Hannah would be upset and she might just say this exact thing. But could he really say that he tried and the line was busy? No. That was a childish response. They were adults and Hannah would expect more. He sighed anxiously as he left, undoing his tie before getting to the elevator. The quicker he changed into the clothes he brought with him, the better. 

Once he crossed the bridge into Brooklyn, he was feeling even guiltier. He had done this exact thing a few times before, through no fault of his own. He always made it to his dates but sometimes he was late. A half hour seemed to be the longest anyone was willing to wait before they got annoyed. Most left at that point.

He hoped he could convince Hannah to still go out with him. Goren pulled over at a flowershop and hurried into the store. He pulled out his wallet and checked to see how much cash he had. He mentally made a list of everything he had planned for their date then sighed miserably at money he would have leftover. He suddenly felt incredibly pathetic. What was even the point in getting any flowers at all?

"Can I help you?"

"Uh...yeah, I..." He rubbed the back of his head, spinning around to look at the flowers by the entrance. "I need...flowers for my...uh...someone." He fidgeted. _'Can I even call Hannah my girlfriend yet?' _He wanted to. Generally he waited a couple weeks before giving a woman that title. A sense of dread washed over him. Would they even make it that long? Did he ruin this already? He nervously fidgeted. "But I don't have much...money." If it weren't for those damn hospital bills and the loans he had taken out to help take care of his mom's medical costs, he would be okay.

"We have carnations...they're always a lovely choice."

"Uh, no." He was not resorting to the typical carnations if he could help it. "What else?"

"Crysanthemums." He motioned to a bouquet in the corner fridge.

Goren nodded. "They'll do...the purple ones." He took his money out of his wallet and went up to the counter to pay.

The employee rang up the cost. "That'll be twenty eight eighty five."

He frowned. "Twenty eight?" He looked at the money in his hand and felt even worse. "Uh...I only have eighteen...can I write you a cheque?"

"We don't take cheques, but we take credit cards."

He chewed the bottom of his lip. Too often he had charged things to his credit card over the past year. It had caused problems and was partly why he was in such a bind in the first place. Even eighteen dollars was too much to put on his credit card. He scratched the side of his head. "H-half a bouquet...how much?"

The employee typed it into the cash register. "$14.43."

Goren paid then took the pathetic flowers and hurried to his car, suddenly feeling sick to his stomach. _'Why do I have to be such a loser? I'm going to look completely pathetic.'_ He sighed_. 'I used to be good at this...'_

_

* * *

_

It was shortly after eight when Goren knocked on Hannah's door. He ran through the scenario in his head, hoping to say something sweet and charm his way out of the situation.

The front door opened and to his surprise Hannah nor Max answered. A blond twenty-something opened the door. "Uh...hi." He bent to the side a little, to see past her. "Is Hannah in?"

"You him?"

"Bobby." He put a hand to his chest. "Or Robert."

"Right." She stepped aside. "She's in the dining room."

Goren entered and took a deep breath to steady himself, bracing for an argument. The girl shut the door and went into the kitchen to make herself something to eat. Goren stepped into the living room and shifted his feet. Noah was hugging his mom, crying against her chest. Hannah looked up and gave a small smile instead of telling him 'hello'. She glanced back down at her son and tried to calm him. "It's okay...no harm done...it's okay." Noah sniffled, not yet sure if she forgave him or not.

Max came into the living room. "Hey." He gave a nod to Goren before going into the kitchen. He smirked at how uncomfortable Goren seemed, what with the crying child and all. "You don't spend a lot of time around kids do you?"

He shifted from one foot to the other, glancing down for a second. "Uh, no." His gaze lifted and he watched Max curiously. "It's...obvious?"

He shrugged. "The screaming runt...unless you're used to it it's as comfortable as getting your teeth drilled." He grabbed a soda and glanced at Nancy out of the corner of his eye. He quickly looked back to his soda and took a big gulp.

Goren tilted his head and raised his eyebrows at the young man.

Max glanced at Nancy again then at Goren. He cleared his throat. "Uh...so...why are you late?"

Goren blinked. _'So that's it...he can't talk to her but he wants to be around her...so he's talking to me instead...' _"M-my boss...uh...I lost track of time."

Hannah kissed Noah on the forehead then the cheek. "I love you."

"Love you too mommy." He wiped his eyes.

She smiled at him. "I'll give you a goodnight kiss later, but only if you're sleeping." He nodded and hugged her again.

Hannah stood up, grabbed her cell phone and walked over to the trash. She dropped the phone into it then went over to Goren. "Hi."

"Hi...why'd you..." he motioned to the garbage can.

"Apparently cell phones and apple juice don't mix."

He glanced at the table and noticed the cup on the table next to Noah. He smiled. "Oh." He looked at her and his smile faded. "I'm sorry, I'm..._really_ late." He fidgeted and handed her the pathetic flowers. "It's not much but the flower shop..." He shook his head. "I'm sorry I'm late."

She smiled. "Thank you...they're lovely." She stood on her toes and kissed him on his cheek. "We're good to go now though?"

"Uh...yeah." He blinked and relaxed. "Yeah, we're good...if you think we are."

She nodded. "I'm just going to-" She started into the kitchen.

Max looked at Nancy dreamily, "yeah mom I can put those in water for ya."

"Oh, okay...thanks." She blinked, confused. Her son offering to help? And she _wasn't_ incapacitated?

He nodded and went over to the bag of apples that hadn't yet been taken out and put into the large bowl where they normally sat on the counter. He grabbed the bag and tried to rip a small opening. "Nancy did you want-" He ripped one a little too big and all the apples fell out, spilling onto the floor.

Goren stifled a laugh and went over to help him clean up. Max scooped up as many apples as quickly as possible, avoiding eye contact, and blushing a little. Nancy seemed oblivious as to why they boy was so nervous. She took her sandwich over to the dining room and sat next to Noah. Goren told Max in a hushed voice. "Breathe...play it cool."

"Like you do with mom?" He glared at him evenly. "You look like you're going to chew your lip off."

Goren went quiet. He didn't know what to say to that. Was he so obviously nervous around Hannah? He hadn't thought so. In any case, he didn't mind Max's sudden attitude. It was understandable. The boy was embarassed.

Once the mess was cleaned up, Hannah and Goren left.

He looked at her concerned, approaching his car. "A-are you sure you're not...upset...about me showing up an hour late?"

"Not anymore." She had been about to go around the car to the passenger side, but stopped and turned to him.

"So...you were?"

"Well..." She sighed and put her hand on her hips. "Okay fine, you'll find out eventually so...well...I have this thing...obsession really, about being on time."

"Oh...so it _really_ bothers you?"

"Well no...I mean..." She smiled sheepishly. "One minute or one hour it doesn't really matter...it's like I can't tell the difference...it's not like I get more annoyed the later one gets...I'm evenly annoyed so the actual amount of time doesn't factor in. I try not to care but I can't help it...it's something I'm working on." She tucked her hair behind her ear. "I mean, as a mother, nothing goes according to schedule so you'd think I'd be used to it by now...actually, I am better. I used to be much worse several years ago...see its like...once I know someone's going to be late, beforehand, it doesn't bother me...if _I'm_ late, no matter the circumstances it drives me nuts...then once someone who's late shows up I don't seem to care anymore."

"Really?" He tilted his head to the side.

"Yeah..." She tucked her hair again.

"It's just...sometimes with my job...sometimes I'm late when I don't want to be...and sometimes I have to...cancel." He watched her seriously to see what her reaction was.

"I know. You're a detective, it's practically expected...so if I ever get a little irritated it's nothing personal. I 'm just a basket case." She paused then added self-consciously, "I know, it makes me seem uptight doesn't it?"

He raised his eyebrows. "Uptight? No. No you're not uptight at all...you're just...neurotic." He gave a small smile, his eyes glinting mischievously.

She smiled. "See, that's what I said." She went around to the passenger seat.

"Said? To who?"

She started to answer but thought twice about it. "Uh...what did you have planned for tonight?" She slipped into the passenger side.

Goren frowned, realizing who must have called her uptight. _'Jake_.'

* * *


	25. Chapter 25

Disclaimer: CI...if I owned it I'd be sitting on set, drooling over Vincent D'Onofrio like an idiot...but I don't and instead I'm here and it will likely be years before I can ever go to NYC again. Unless of course, NBC likes my story and decides to hire me... yeah so anyways, I own nothing.

Note - I just have to say I loved 'Endgame'...yeah that's all... :0) This story has nothing to do with that.

* * *

Goren smiled at Hannah cheerfully. "What?" She leaned against his car 

She shrugged, keeping the smug expression on her face. "It's just a new side of you…camping."

"I _have_ done this before."

"I know but I'm not used to seeing 'Rugged Bobby.'"

He smirked. "And now that you've seen him?"

"Meh."

He raised his eyebrows and laughed.

She smiled and put her hands on his chest. "Actually, I have to say I like it a lot."

"Really?"

She bit her lip and nodded slowly. She let her lip free. "Very much."

He grinned at her. She always had a way of making him feel wanted. His original surprise and uneasiness about that had worn off. Goren was starting to feel like their relationship might last and any fears he had were beginning to ease their grip on him. It allowed him to enjoy himself more and more around her.

He leaned in and kissed her. Hannah kept her hands on his chest comfortably as the kiss deepened.

Though he and Hannah were only dating a month, they had gone out about four or five times a week. Generally in the past he was only able to date a couple times a week. But luckily for him Hannah didn't mind a simple dinner at his place or meeting up for lunch if they could arrange it. She was also patient with him and understanding when he had research to do, and the one time he was called away so far, she had been disappointed but she hadn't blamed him.

The politics of dating was something he understood as a teenager, but nowadays everything was so grey that it got confusing. Goren knew that Hannah's ideas were a little more old fashioned than other people's, like; for instance, she considered having lunch with him, a date. Some people would say that since it was lunch, it meant nothing.

He was glad Hannah didn't play dating politics and he loved how flexible she was when it came to the type of activity they would do.

The only thing she wasn't flexible on was how often she had Max baby-sit. She didn't want him forced to do so more than once a week. It had only been a problem once. Max was out at his friend Ty's for the night and the babysitter that Hannah hired backed out at the last minute. No other sitter was available for the night so they had to cancel their plans and make new ones.

The couple ended up watching movies and ordering Indian food. Noah had eaten a couple hours earlier and he stayed with them during the first movie, which was child friendly. That had been a surprise to Hannah. Goren had specifically made sure to rent a movie that he might want to see, which ended up being the second Shrek movie. Not that Goren really knew what was good or not but the clerk at the video store recommended it. Noah had fallen asleep near the tail end of it.

That was how they spent last weekend. And this weekend, Goren was going on his annual get together with some old friends. He was going to miss her.

Groren cupped her face as he kissed her goodbye. He loved that Hannah made him feel like he was the only person on the planet, sometimes even when the kids were around.

The sound of a throat clearing caught their attention.

Hannah broke the kiss, blushing. Goren turned to see his friend Lewis smirking at him. "Did I interrupt?"

Goren looked down, grinned, and glanced at Hannah. "Uh, Lewis, this is Hannah."

Lewis smiled. "Hi."

She tucked her hair behind her ear and smiled sheepishly. "Hi."

"So uh…we should…" Goren fidgeted and rubbed the back of his neck.

She smiled. "Okay…call me when you get back?"

He nodded and motioned to her car. "I want to see you drive off." He wanted to make sure she was safe.

Hannah started towards her car. She turned to him. "Have a fun weekend."

"How can I if you're not there?"

"Always a charmer."

Goren stole a kiss and waited for her to get in. He went around to the curb and waited until she drove off.

Lewis went up to him and clapped him on the back. "Sorry but if I didn't interrupt I doubt you would be leaving at all."

He smiled and scratched the side of his face. "Yeah…"

* * *

Goren sat at the fire, roasting a marshmallow. A few of his buddies from high school made it as well. They were held up at a cabin in the woods outside the city. It was peaceful and they got to do everything one wanted to on a camping trip. 

Lewis came over with a fresh beer and handed it to him. "So how's detective Alex?"

Goren smiled but said nothing. He knew Eames wasn't interested in Lewis, and he doubted his friend would want to know that Eames had started to date one of the cops they had worked with a couple months before.

"Forget that. I want to hear about this girlfriend."

Goren removed the marshmallow and blew on it to cool it. Everyone was looking at him for a response.

"Well?"

Goren smirked but remained silent.

"Oh is that how it's going to be?"

"Lewis you saw her, what's she look like?"

"She's hot…for a brunette…and she's younger."

"Younger, Bobby you robbin' the cradle?"

"I-it's not like that…Hannah is a...a lady."

"She's got a great body too, if-"

"Hey." Goren scowled at him.

"Oooh, quick on the defensive…it must be serious." A couple of the guys laughed.

Lewis opened his beer. "They almost gave me a show. They were on the verge of making out on top of his car." The guys chuckled at how uncomfortable Goren looked.

Kevin asked curiously, "Is it serious?"

"Well it's…" he fidgeted. "It's been a month."

"So? Bobby none of us are exactly young here…one of us is divorced and two never married…and let me tell you from experience that waiting doesn't really mean anything. Staci and I were together 7 years before we got hitched and there was still a ton we were learning about each other…marriage isn't some big obstacle. It's simple. As my wife says, as long as you've seen each other at their worst then you're going in with your eyes open."

"Way to kill the fun Kev." Marcus threw a marshmallow at him and hit him in the forehead, giving them all a good chuckle.

"So how often do you see this girlfriend?" Jason asked, taking a sip of his beer.

"You know…i-it's none of your business."

"Answer the question Bobby."

Goren sighed and rubbed his face. It was payback. On more than one occasion he had been the one asking them questions just like this. Now he had to put up with it. It really was quite irritating. "4…on average, 4 times a week." He wished it was more to be honest but he didn't want to seem too clingy or desperate.

"Oooh!" A couple of the guys teased.

"He's got it bad."

Goren shifted uncomfortably and for the next little while he had to put up with the teasing his friends gave him.

It was a Friday night and here he was with his friends, something he was looking forward to for awhile; yet, he just wanted to be back in the city with Hannah. He had started to get used to spending time with her and Fridays was one of the nights he and Hannah spent just the two of them.

He missed her.

Goren zoned out a little, getting lost in his thoughts about the night he and Hannah went to the movies. He wasn't the best date that night, constantly commenting on the ridiculousness of the romantic comedy they were watching. He had come out of it, ranting in irritation at how the movie portrayed the topic of bipolar disorder as something comical.

It just wasn't funny, and portrayals like that movie were why there was such a stigma for that particular disorder.

_He waved his hands around, "…and bipolar disorder hasn't shown any link to multiple personality disorder as they were trying to imply and-"_

_"Bobby…breathe. It was just a movie."  
He looked at her uneasily and took a deep breath. "S-sorry I...I was…distracting wasn't I?"_

_"A little…but the movie was dull. If you weren't going on about it I'd probably be falling asleep."_

_"I shouldn't…it's a habit, sometimes I just-"_

_"Bobby it's okay." Hannah slipped her arm in his. "Besides if I ever get annoyed by it, trust me, I'll let you know."_

Goren blinked. There were so many reasons as to why he loved Hannah, but one of the best qualities she had was how understanding she was of him. She took care of those she loved and though they had never said 'I love you' she treated him like she did. He hoped she did love him and he couldn't wait to hear her say so. It was understandable that she was a little guarded. The only man she had been in love with, and intimate with had treated her like a maid as opposed to a wife and lover.

"Hey do you remember that party over at Lisa Wilkes' place?"

"Her dad wanted to kill me." Jason said, taking another sip of his beer.

"Didn't he chase you out of the house with a rifle?"

Goren chuckled. "It was a BB gun…and he tripped over his pants and f-fell down the steps…on the front porch…it was hilarious."

"Yeah and you were just standing there laughing your ass off while he shot me in the back."

Everyone cracked up laughing.

* * *

Hannah swept her hair from her face and sighed as she stared at the computer screen. "Penny for your thoughts." Goren smiled as he entered her office. 

She glanced up at him and smiled. "Bobby…hi." She got up and went around her desk and greeted him with a kiss. Or tried to. He dodged her lips and kissed her on the cheek.

She looked at him curiously. "What was-"

"Just in case." His voice was a little hoarse.

"You're sick?"

"F-fighting a cold…that's all."

"You must feel awful."

He smiled. "I'm okay." He lifted himself onto the balls of his feet briefly. "Actually, I was hoping…did you want to have lunch? I have a good…half hour free."

"Only if you let me treat you."

He bit his lip. Goren always liked to pay.

She smiled. "Bobby…"

"Okay…okay if those are your terms, then you can pay."

Hannah found it curious that Goren barely ate anything during lunch. "You look tired."

"I got in real late last night." He rubbed his face. "And I got called in at four thirty."

"I'd be a zombie if that happened. It can't be fun..." She paused, studying him. "You have the flu don't you?"

"Hmm?"

"It's not a cold otherwise you'd be eating."

"I'm fine."

"Can't you get Alex to cover for you so you can go home and rest?"

"I'm fine besides I h-hate… pawning work off on Eames."

"Well what about Logan?"

He smiled slightly. "I'm okay. I've taken something for it and I'll be better tomorrow."

"Noah's got a playgroup at our house this evening but if you wanted to come over…they should be gone by eight."

"No it's okay…I have some research to do anyways."

"You'll try to get some sleep tonight though?"

He smiled, trying to convince her to stop worrying. "Yes I'll try." He _was_ fine. Or rather, he'd survive. Having the flu wouldn't kill him even though he really felt like shit. Besides, he couldn't think of anything more awkward than asking her to take care of him. He just wasn't used to people fussing over him. Part of him wished she would though.

"Well okay…" Hannah took a sip of her water before placing the glass back on the table. "Let me know if you change your mind."

"I'm okay." _'Geez Goren how many times can you say it? She's being sweet, just take her up on her offer…but she'll think I'm weak and she shouldn't take time from the kids just to fuss over me. That's just more work for her.' _"I should feel fine by tomorrow. We can go out tomorrow night."

"Okay, but only if you feel alright."

* * *

Goren looked at himself in the mirror. If he wasn't so out of it he might have noticed how terrible he looked. 

He had spent all day covering up his flu symptoms as best he could but he felt like he had swallowed a jigsaw. Captain Ross had glared at him a few extra times today so Goren was certain that he had said something to displease the man. That or he'd been a little short with him. He couldn't really remember. _'What the hell are you doing? Just stay in and sleep…no. I won't cancel on Hannah, I __**will**__ make this work…I'll be fine.'_

He pulled off his suit jacket and hung it up in his closet. He sighed and sat down on the bed, trying to muster up the strength to change.

The phone rang. He reached across his bed and picked up the receiver. "Hello?"

"Bobby? You sound terrible, are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"Well you don't sound it. Did you want to do this when you're feeling better?"

"I am better."

"You sure could fool me."

He sighed. "I'm a little…t-tired but I'm okay…I probably shouldn't drive though."

"Well did you want to just stay in at your place? That way if you feel you need to you can just go to bed."

"No I'm okay."

"No we'll do this some other time."

"Hannah…I-I want to go out with you."

"I'll come over and we'll do something else."

"No I'm-"

"I'll be there in an hour."

"Hann-" Goren sighed heavily as she hung up on him. He hung up the receiver and stared at the closet. _'Stubborn…why is it irritating all of a sudden? Because I feel like shit, that's why.' _He felt really warm and was a little glad that at least he could wear something even more comfortable.

Before he knew it, Hannah was knocking on his door. He smiled a little at the sight of her, feeling weak and tired.

She smiled and adjusted the bag in her hands. "Hi."

"What's all this?"

"I'm cooking for you."

"You are?" He asked surprised.

She nodded. "Can I come in?"

"Oh." He moved aside, letting her in.

Hannah went into the kitchen. "I figured since you feel so terrible that it's the least I can do."

"W-why do you think I'm so sick? I'm not…we can still go out if you want."

"Nope. We're staying in." She started unloading the bag. "Which noodles do you want, alphabets or tiny squares?" She held one bag in her right hand and the other in her left.

He raised his eyebrows curiously, crossing his arms over his chest. "For what?"

"Chicken soup." She smiled. "I thought you'd pick up on that…you really are sick."

"You make me sound like an invalid. I _am_ capable of functioning you know."

"So you _do_ feel horrible?"

He scowled. "Are you trying to...to get me to confess or something? Because, under duress anyone would."

She smirked. "Are you saying my cooking is as welcome as a beating?"

He smiled slightly. "And if I say yes?"

She went up to him. "If you say yes I might have to spit in your food."

His smile broadened.

Hannah kissed him on his cheek and held up the noodles again. "Pick one."

He pointed to the left hand, which held the alphabet noodles. "You don't have to do this you know. We could just order something to eat."

She shook her head. "Nope. Not going to happen." She put the noodles aside and took his hand. She dragged him over to the couch. "Sit."

He tilted his head and gave her a defiant glare. "I'm not gonna…I can help you."

"No I said I would make you dinner and I will. Now relax. Watch a movie, by the time it's done the food will be ready."

"There's nothing on tv."

She rolled her eyes, turned, went over to the bag on the table and pulled out a couple DVD's and brought them over to him. "Anything else?"

He looked at her surprised then took the movies. They were two movies he loved. Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and the Clockwork Orange. "You…you didn't have to do this."

"I wanted to."

He raised his eyebrows and held up a Clockwork Orange. "I thought you said you hate this movie?"

"I do." She smiled and rolled her eyes. "BUT you said you like it…though I've no idea why."

He sat down. "It's…" He blinked, moved that she put so much thought into this. "T-thank you."

She smiled softly and ran her fingers through his hair. "Anytime."

He took her hand and kissed the inside of her palm gratefully.

Hannah gave a nod. "Okay I'm going to get started. Need anything? Water? A bucket to throw up in?"

"Uh, no." He smirked.

"Okay good." She turned and started to prepare dinner. It turned out to be a chore because Goren kept getting up and insisting on helping her.

She shooed him for the millionth time. "Get out of here…relax."

"But I'm hungry…and it smells great."

"I thought you said you felt queasy."

"I never said that. You deduced it."

"Whatever."

"And I haven't eaten anything today. I'm starving."

She stopped stirring the pot and looked at him shocked. "You haven't eaten _anything_ today?"

He shrugged. "I had to go to the m-morgue I doubt I would have been able to…i-if I ate…besides, I could do with a diet." He ran a hand over his face.

"Why? What do you mean?"

"Well I know I've lost a few pounds the past couple weeks but…come on…I'm big."

She frowned at him. "I didn't know you felt this way." She put down the spoon and went up to him. She put her hands on his chest. "I happen to find you incredibly attractive."

He slowly let his eyes meet hers.

"Robert…" She sighed. "I can't believe you're self conscious." She paused. "Is this because we haven't…you know…?"

"No I…" He sighed. "It's never been…a…a problem…for me before."

"I bet everyone goes through it eventually."

"I know a few who wouldn't."

"I mean real people…ones who actually eat and don't get liposuction or have the luxury of personal trainers."

"Well…" He fidgeted. "I doubt you have…look at you…you're perfect."

She smiled. "You think I'm perfect?" She blinked and tried to force the smile from her face. "I mean…of course I have."

He looked at her incredulously. "When? I-I saw your photo albums remember? You always looked beautiful."

She fought to keep from smiling at the comment. He really thought she was beautiful. Hannah put her hands on her hips. "It gained 27 pounds when I was pregnant with Max…though granted some of that was because I was still growing anyways, you know, 'cause I was still a kid, but still…it took about 4 months to get rid of it all. Then when I was pregnant with Noah I gained 18 pounds and let me tell you, when you're 9 months pregnant, can't see your feet and have to pee every twenty minutes you hardly feel attractive…and then afterwards I had to do about 30 ab crunches and 30 lunges a day on top of walking and it still took me 2 months to lose that weight."

He studied her then looked down and shifted his feet. "I…" He cleared his throat. "I hadn't…t-thought about that."

Hannah sighed. "Bobby, you could gain 200 pounds and I'd still think you were attractive." He was trying to figure her out. He had that look. If she didn't change the subject now he would likely keep going on about the topic until it ate at him.

Hannah stood on her tip toes and kissed him on his lips. For a moment Goren froze. She just kissed him again. Goren gave in and began kissing her back for a moment.

He broke the kiss. "No…you'll get sick."

"I'll risk it." She smiled and kissed him again. When she drew from it Goren was smiling. She gave him a nod. "Okay sit down and I'll bring the soup over to you and we can pop in one of the movies."

He finally listened to her and sat down.

They put in the Clockwork Orange. Goren couldn't help but laugh whenever Hannah made a comment about the movie. He explained why he liked it, mostly about the crazy style of the film, the brainwashing sequence and psychological effects of it, and the socio-political statements the film held. Hannah still hated it.

By the time the second movie was put in, they were done eating and Goren coaxed Hannah to lay down on the couch with him.

"I feel like I'm going to fall off." Hannah said uneasily. She wasn't used to laying side by side on the couch like that.

Goren slipped an arm around her stomach. "Better?"

She smiled. "Much…" She paused. "Bobby?"

"Yeah?"

"If you need to throw up, please give me a heads up…or in the least aim away from me."

He chuckled. "Okay…but I'm starting to feel better."

* * *

Note - Sorry for the delay in posting. I'll try to put up the new chapters a little more often from now on. 


	26. Chapter 26

Disclaimer: I do not own CI nor it's characters.

* * *

Goren glanced over at Hannah. She was reading one of his magazines. The National Geographic. Her hair was curled and she wore a short sleeved red button up blouse and a black skirt. Whether she was wearing a ballroom gown, a bikini, or a potato sac, it wouldn't matter. He wanted her all the same. 

Even when she had been sick he had found her beautiful; though, her face was puffed up, her eyes and nose red. Of course when she was sick, he had only wanted to take care of her the way she took care of him. Possibly more. He was after all the reason she was sick in the first place. Hannah had kissed him, out of a gesture of love, and contracted the flu from him. He had seen it coming but he wasn't at all sorry she kissed him until she had actually gotten sick.

His eyes scanned her face and he felt his stomach flip flop with excitement and he shifted in his seat. Unable to help himself, his eyes scanned her body. God he wanted her.

Goren wasn't used to waiting. The women he had gone out with in the past stuck with the 3 date rule and he hadn't minded one bit. However, despite his frustration, he was glad Hannah wanted to wait. At least he was at first. Now, he was finding it rather difficult sometimes. _'Relax man it's not like it's been a year, you've been together only for 7 weeks now…give it another month before you say something…you can't make Hannah feel pressured…but…even if Hannah wasn't making you wait a year, it's been that long since you were with a woman…at least…when was it? Before mom got sick…' _

7 weeks. They probably bickered more over the last 13 days than they had the entire time they've known each other. But then, they were both cranky from being sick. First it was him, then both of them, and then just Hannah. Despite the bickering, or perhaps because of it, Goren felt even closer to her.

He had seen a side of her she hadn't shown him before and he was glad. It was the irritated, cranky, and pouty side of her. If she hadn't been sick it probably would have been a turn on.

On and off over the past couple weeks, Goren was called away a few times to work on a case. Every time he left Hannah got upset with him, wanting some sort of special treatment, like he promised, because of her flu. Then he'd come back and she had forgotten all about it.

There were also a couple days where Goren was forced to do extra research for the case. Instead of doing so at the library or his apartment, Hannah had convinced him to come over to her place. Originally he had been concerned about not having any peace and quiet to concentrate, or that he would be imposing on the family. But it actually felt comfortable.

He would play with Noah for a few minutes before dinner, help wash the dishes afterwards, then he'd tackle the books for awhile. He even got to spend a little time with Hannah after doing the research.

It surprised him really, because an arrangement like this hadn't crossed Goren's mind in years. And now he was with a woman who was okay with it. For the first time in his life he felt like he was in a healthy, and strong relationship. He would never dream of doing anything that could sabotage it. So, as sexually frustrated as he was, Goren would do everything in his power not to pressure Hannah in anyway. A little tension wouldn't kill him.

Goren cleared his throat and went back to his book. "I uh…should only be a few more minutes…then we can go."

"Okay, no rush. This is pretty interesting." Hannah tilted her head to the side hoping to show off part of her neck and cleavage. From the angle she was sitting in it wasn't difficult.

He looked at her curiously. "Which article?" He glanced at her chest and forced his eyes back up to her face.

"Deconstructing Atlantis." She looked down at it quickly. _'Seriously, Bobby do I really need to strip to get you to make out with me?' _She had thought she could easily turn 'fooling around' into something more. She wasn't one to be very obvious about sex. Hannah was more comfortable with her subtleties.

"Oh…that one's been done before. Nothing revolutionary." He studied the way she was biting her lip and felt himself getting turned on even more. Goren was a little worried at the intensity of how much he wanted her. He didn't want to get too frustrated or he might say something that would make it seem like he was pressuring her.

"I know but I always wonder how the myth got so big if the only real source that mentions it is by Plato. And even that was only a few lines wasn't it?" She paused. "And I guess I like the idea of hidden civilizations." _'I thought he said he was attracted to a thirsty mind and I __**am**__ talking about something intelligent…'_

He smiled. "There's one in…Z-zimbabwe. Hundreds of villagers disappeared, practically overnight…" He went on to tell her about it, forgetting about his book and the notes he was taking. Goren mentioned the theories about what happened and all that was discovered about the society so far.

Hannah watched him, her elbow on the back of the couch and her head resting in her palm. She smiled softly, loving the sound of his voice and how excited he was about the topic. The way he gestured his hands and stumbled over or stressed certain words, and even the smug self-confidence he held…it was so…Goren. She loved it. It was such a turn on. Several minutes went by, with Goren deep into the topic, before Hannah gave up. _'That's it! Mister I'm-a-big-shot-detective, if you can't take a hint then so be it!'_

Hannah put the magazine down, uncurled her legs and slid over towards him. He looked at her curiously, kept talking, but slowed his pace a little, wondering if she was just trying to listen better, or if she was trying to cuddle with him.

She leaned over and kissed him, bringing the discussion to an end.

When she withdrew Goren smiled, amused. "W-what was that for?"

She smiled and kissed him again, and again. Hannah pushed aside the book and notes Goren had been making and straddled him, deepening the kiss. The pull in his gut increased even more.

"H-hannah-" He felt like he was going to lose his mind.

She ignored him and pressed herself against him losing herself in how he felt against her and how great a kisser he was.

After a minute Hannah broke the kiss and told him seriously, looking deep into his eyes and hoped more than anything in the world, that he felt the same as her. "I love you."

He blinked and his eyes softened. "I…I l-love you too." Her face lit up and hiis heart leapt. Hannah kissed him again and began unbuckling his belt, making her intentions very clear.

'_Thank god!'_ Goren pulled her against him and got to his feet, carrying her, and tried to make it to the bedroom. They stumbled in the doorway, then flopped onto the bed.

He slipped off her blouse and skirt and looked her over. "You're so…_so_ beautiful." He smiled and put his hands on her hips and allowed them to slide over her. "So soft…" He whispered, barely audible as a fog of desire swept over him.

Hannah drew in a breath as he began kissing her chest.

He stopped and asked her, "protection?"

"Just a condom." She'd explain later how uncomfortable she was with a few of the other methods of birth control, and about how pills caused her hormones to be too out of wack that no matter the dosage or the brand, she always felt sick. "My purse."

"Too far." He reached over and opened the bedside drawer. There was an unopened box of condoms inside. As soon as he got one, he started to pull off his clothes. He stopped, realizing something.

Hannah was wearing an expensive lace bra and thong. He blinked. "You…you planned this?"

She smiled. "I _was_ trying to get your attention ever since I got here."

He smirked. "You were? You were…_are_ hot…I was trying to ignore you."

"Well, you don't have to anymore."

He leaned down and kissed her hungrily before ridding himself of the last piece of clothing.

Hannah drew in a nervous breath as Goren finished with his own clothes and prepared himself. Her cheeks burned for a few reasons.

He then kissed her again before pulling down a bra strap.

"Wait."

He stopped and studied her face desperately hoping she wasn't serious.

She smiled nervously and stroked his cheek. She would never forget the look in his eyes. There was so much desire and love that she wondered if he was really here, looking at her. She bit her lip for a second. "I've only ever been with one man, I might not be-"

"It's okay." He whispered and kissed her softly. "It's okay…I won't hurt you, I promise…I'll never hurt you…" He didn't just mean physically.

Her eyes stung. "Robert I love you so much." She kissed him and slipped her arms around his neck. He smiled against her lips, leaned back a little and worked the hooks on the back of the bra. Once he got it off her he happily chucked it across the room, his playfulness made Hannah giggle, and it put her at ease a little.

* * *

Goren drifted off to sleep peacefully. Hannah relaxed against him, her arm draped over his chest. Her heart was beating at a normal rate again and she thought about how wonderful being with him was. She watched him for a few minutes after his breathing took on a slow deep rhythm, letting her know he was in deep sleep. Hannah carefully slipped out of his grasp and out of bed. She grabbed his shirt and slipped it on. She smiled, catching its scent. 

She lifted the neckline up and drew in the smell of soap, cologne, and Goren's natural scent. Her smile spread into a grin and she thought about what had transpired between the two of them.

For Hannah, that was the second biggest step she could take in a relationship. The first one being marriage, which was a direction she hoped their relationship was headed in.

She left the room and studied herself in the mirror in the bathroom. She couldn't wipe the smile off her face. She had never doubted that she and Goren would enjoy themselves more than she and Jake ever did; but she had no idea.

As a lover Jake was selfish, which was no shock to herself or Goren. He was a selfish man so it made sense. And as a woman who had been searching her whole life to be loved by someone, Hannah never felt obligated to ask for anything. But over the years, Hannah had learned to speak up and in some cases, even become opinionated and independent.

As a lover, Hannah felt shy and insecure. Sure she had learned many things in her marriage, mostly how to please a man, but she knew she had plenty to learn. It hadn't even occurred to her how much Goren could teach her about herself and her own body.

He had taught her a lot today already. Mainly, how great making love could be. Of course she had experienced pleasure before, but nothing close to this and what made it better was the fact that Goren so obviously enjoyed himself.

Her cheeks were still a little flushed.

Hannah turned on the tap and splashed some water on her face.

After freshening up, Hannah went down the hall and into the kitchen. She doubted she could sleep right now. Her smile faded as she thought about the possibility that she could just be another girlfriend of Goren's. He loved her; she knew that much, but sometimes things just didn't work out.

She stopped herself from scrounging for some food, and instead went over to the dirty dishes in the sink. Goren liked the dishes out of the way but he had intended on tackling them after their date was over.

Hannah plugged up a sink and filled it up with soapy water. _'What if things don't work out?' _Her heart seemed to shatter at the thought. She loved him so much it scared her, and now that they had made love, she could barely stand the thought of them apart.

She scrubbed the dishes, upset, worrying that for one reason or another they might break up. It finally hit her how serious everything was. Not that she didn't know, but Hannah had mostly thought about her boys, and worried that Goren might one day hurt her the way Jake did.

Hannah knew the latter wouldn't happen, and she finally accepted and believed that, which was part of the reason she felt ready to be with Goren. He was in no way a terrible man and he would never do anything to hurt her.

_'But sometimes relationships go wrong…'_

She was almost done the dishes when the floor creaked behind her.

"W-what's wrong?" Goren fidgeted, clenching and unclenching his fists.

She glanced at him, tears streaming down her cheeks. She looked away and wiped her eyes. Goren was really worried. "Nothing." She said pathetically.

"D-don't…" He tilted his head, his eyes studying her, his heart racing anxiously. _'Didn't she like it? Did I hurt her? Oh god, I did…' _He had thought that both of them were enjoying themselves. He certainly had. In fact, though he might be biased, Goren thought Hannah had been the best lover he ever had. They had chemistry and compatibility, enthusiasm, stamina, passion, and love. It had been amazing and all he wanted to do right now was repeat that act.

Hannah was always a terrible liar. She turned away and dried her hands on the towel. She put her hands on the edge of the counter and fidgeted with it. She could feel Goren approaching from behind.

"Did I…did I hurt you?" He asked weakly. If he did he'd never forgive himself. "I know I was eager, and…and it's been awhile but…I didn't mean-"

"No…" She wiped her face again. "I just…" He came over to her side, letting out a breath and drawing in another, bracing himself for whatever bad news she had to say.

"Y-you regret it?"

She glanced at him worried. "No, do you?"

"No, I had…" He cut himself off. He wasn't sure how much to tell her and how much this meant to him.

She looked down at the counter. "When you made love to me…I felt things… how much you love me…and I know the physical stuff was incredible but it was so much more than that and-" She talked so quickly she barely could even breathe. "And I never felt so…" She put her hand on her chest and refused to look at him, it was all so overwhelming and she was a little embarrassed at how emotional she was. "What if things don't work out with us? I can't lose you and…and I love you. I know I shouldn't be so clingy but I can't help it."

He tilted his head to the other side. "Hannah-"

"No I'm serious, I know this is probably a faux pas and maybe I seem juvenile but I can't help it. I don't want to lose you."

He took her hands. "You won't." He studied her face then kissed her once, then twice. He pulled her into a hug. "We'll make it."

"But what if-"

He drew from her and cupped her face, giving her the puppy dog eyes. "You think I felt this…f-for anyone else? Not like this…not like us. I love you." He kissed her again, deepening the kiss. It was refreshing and comforting to know that he could be vulnerable with Hannah and she wouldn't laugh. Hannah was right now as vulnerable as him, if not more. She had been hurt badly, by the only man she had ever been with. That had to leave a big scar and Goren knew it.

Goren also appreciated how she wasn't guarded the way other people were. She tried to be but he saw right through her.

Hannah sighed, burying her face in his neck. His arms were so strong and warm. She loved his arms. She felt the pull in her gut and the warmth spread through her body. She whispered in his ear, as though it was a secret. "I want to be good for you, so if there's anything you want…"

He watched her emotionally. "I have everything…" He pulled her closer again, resting his hands on her hips. He looked her over and couldn't deny the fact that he was deeply turned on again. He kissed her and swept her up into his arms quickly. Though he could be a gentleman sometimes, he was still human. Goren was going to take her up on her offer.

* * *

A couple hours later... 

Hannah tossed the lid of the ice cream onto the counter and scooped some up. She turned the spoon over and put it in her mouth, to eat the ice cream.

Goren went up to her, smiling happily, in his boxers again. He slipped his arms around her and kissed her cheek.

She beamed, scooped some more ice cream and held it up to him. He took a bite. "Mmmm." He licked his lips and pulled her closer. She was small compared to him but their bodies fit perfectly.

Everything was perfect.

He kissed her neck softly. Hannah beamed and turned around. She held up another spoonful of the Cookies N' Cream ice cream Goren had bought and he devoured it, chuckling lightly.

Sometimes he didn't understand Hannah. At times she was so strong and independent, while others she was delicate and emotional. He knew how she was, he just didn't always understand it. Right now she was the latter. It only made him more protective of her, which he rather liked. He liked taking care of her. He needed to. It was just who he was.

Like Hannah, his identity had been created around the idea that he was to take care and look after someone he loved.

He played with her, trying to get a reaction from her. He wanted to see her smile.

Hannah giggled and pushed him away slightly. Goren pulled her into his embrace.

He thought about the events of the past year. He knew that if he hadn't met Hannah he would have likely become more withdrawn, and focussed only on his work. Doing that would have only allowed the dark abyss to engulf him. Even though it still hurt to think about his mom's death, he wasn't consumed by the pain anymore. He knew it had everything to do with Hannah. She had rescued him from the darkness and even taken things a step further. She had brought in more light than he thought was possible in his life. She made him laugh, made him feel such powerful and beautiful things he didn't think were possible.

Loving Hannah was the only thing he wanted to do now. To be with her, love her, take care of her and her boys...to hopefully be seen as a friend, and even better, as a father-figure to them, it was all he really wanted. All of it, and to hold Hannah, smell the floral scent of her perfume, and to feel her impossibly soft skin beneath his hands and his body...that was his definition of happiness. And today, it was the happiest day of his life.

He felt amazing. Goren tickled the back of her neck.

She squirmed. "Bobby!"

His fingers continued on the small spot.

Hannah squirmed and shrieked. "Bobby!"

He pulled her against him and laughed into her neck. She giggled and snuggled against him. He stroked her back and sighed, letting out a breath.

Hannah lifted her head up and looked at him surprised. "Again?"

He smirked. "Do you blame me? You're gorgeous."

"Flattery will get you everywhere." She kissed him softly and he deepened it.

* * *

Later that night... 

Hannah was curled against him, asleep in the dark. They hadn't gone out at all. From early afternoon until now they had taken the day to make love, order in some food, and make love again, until they were spent.

Goren was on his side, his arms around her, asleep.

The pink phone on top of dresser next to the bed started ringing to the tune of 'Let it Be' by the Beatles.

For the next couple rings neither woke up. Finally Goren did and realized that Hannah's phone was ringing. He picked it up and asked hoarsely. "Hello?" He blinked. "Oh, yeah…uh, she's here…I'll tell her. Yeah…we'll be right there." He hung up. "Hannah."

She snuggled against him and moaned tiredly.

Goren grinned. "Hannah, wake up. You need to go home."

She blinked then sat up quickly. "What happened?"

He sat up and put a hand to her shoulder. "Nothing…nothing happened. It's just…nearly three. The sitter called…she was told she's only working until two thirty."

"Oh." She rubbed her eyes. "Right."

"I'll drive you."

"No you're tired…stay."

"Not a chance." He got out of bed and started getting dressed. Hannah threw the covers off and started towards the dresser, where she had piled the clothes neatly on top next to her purse.

She pulled her thong and skirt on under the oversized t-shirt. "Well…did you want to stay at my place?"

He turned to her surprised. "But…the boys…I thought…"

"I don't know…but I like waking up next to you."

He tilted his head. "Uh…you're confused…about the boys and w-what they will think."

"A little."

He gave a nod. "I can…sleep on the couch?"

"Really?"

He shrugged. "Your couch is comfortable."

"But it's small, your legs will hang off the end."

"I'll be fine."

She smiled. "Okay, only if you're comfortable with that."

"I am." The idea of being torn away from her tonight was not good. He smiled at her. "I need my shirt."

She pulled it off and tossed it at him. He made no effort to stop it as it landed on his head and covered his face. He chuckled and pulled it off but was disappointed to see Hannah already covered by her bra. She worked the hooks and smirked at him. "So what are you doing tomorrow?"

"You I hope."

Her eyes widened and she grabbed a pillow off the bed and threw it at him. He laughed heartily, catching the pillow. "So you like to throw things…I'll keep that in mind if I ever piss you off."

* * *

Note - more to come. Hope you like. 


	27. Chapter 27

Disclaimer: I don't own Goren, Eames, Cptn Ross, or any other character from CI, nor do I own CI itself. I don't pretend to and I don't make any money off this...blah blah blah...please don't sue, all you'll get is a bunch of dirty laundry and books I've never read.

* * *

Goren took a pen out of the drawer in the desk. He paused, seeing the photo of Hannah hidden there, laying on top of everything. He picked it up and studied it, smiling to himself.

Logan approached from behind, sticking his head out. He whistled.

Goren quickly put the picture into the middle drawer so no one else could come across it. He didn't like other people in his business. Unfortunately, people liked to gossip.

"What? I'd show her off if I were you." He smiled at Goren.

"Isn't there an…" Goren motioned to the interview room.

"Wheeler's got it…girl talk." He stuffed his hands in his pockets.

Goren sighed, getting the sinking feeling that Logan was going to start asking questions about Hannah. He had told him a little about her but there was only so much he was comfortable revealing about her just yet. By nature, Goren was a private man.

Eames looked up from her desk, half studying a file, and put down her turkey club sandwich. She wiped her hands on the serviette. "Bobby."

_'Thank god, Eames has work for me.'_ He was grateful for a reason to get Logan to back off about Hannah. He turned to her. "Hmm?"

She nodded towards the elevators, swallowing her lunch.

Goren turned his attention to her line of sight and blinked. A uniformed officer approached, his grip on a young man wearing blue jeans and a grey t-shirt with some blood on it.

"Detective Goren?" He looked around, to figure out who this detective was.

Goren's mouth fell open slightly. "Max?" He got to his feet and went over. "W-what happened?"

"He and his buddies decided to take a car for a joy ride."

"What?" Goren glanced down at Max and grew even more concerned when he noticed the split lip and the bruises on his face. "That's not…" He looked around, rubbed the back of his neck then pointed out the free room nearby. "W-we need to talk." He told the officer.

Goren turned to Max seriously and pointed to his chair and spoke firmly. "Sit."

Max put a hand to his swollen lip and snapped moodily. "Why should I?"

Goren spoke louder, his eyebrows raising. "Sit."

Max grumbled and went over to Goren's chair and sat down carefully, his body aching a little. Goren glanced at his partner, silently asking her to make sure he stayed put. She nodded. He then went to speak with the other detective.

He shut the door. "W-what happened, exactly?"

"He and his friends attacked a teenager only a few years older than him then took his car for a joy ride."

"But Max…he…who were the others?"

The detective listed them off then added, "we suspect the kid was just caught up in it. The witnesses say he was pretty shocked when he realized what was happening and he wanted to stay behind…that's when his friends beat him up."

"To…make sure he wouldn't…squeal?"

He nodded. "He still didn't call the police and he waited around for his friends to come back."

"They came back to the scene?"

"They had a meeting place a couple blocks nearby…in front of the arcade. They didn't really think it out that much."

"And…Max?"

"We're not going to charge him but I thought you could talk some sense into the boy. The last thing we need is more reckless teenagers out there."

Goren gave a nod. "Uh…t-thank you...uh…how did you know to bring him to me?"

"The kid told us…he didn't want us calling his mom but he gave us your name."

Goren blinked in surprise. _'Why would he do that? He must know I would be just as disappointed with him…but…he trusts me enough to help him out of trouble? That means…he's learning to trust me…'_ It was a huge step for Max and it made Goren feel really good. "T-thanks."

He offered his hand to the officer, respecting the fact he was giving Max a second chance, when he could easily have Max charged with obstruction for allowing his so-called friends to get away with the crime and not calling the police.

* * *

Max fiddled with the drawers before opening the middle one. His eyes fixed on the photo of his mom. He picked it up and moved it aside then looked around in the drawer curiously. Eames was distracted on the phone. 

He found a folded up page from the yellow pages. Max grabbed it and unfolded it. There were actually three pages, all about jewellers. Max stared at the pages. Some of the ads were crossed off with an 'x' while some were circled and a few had question marks next to them along with the symbol '$'.

Before Max could even process the idea of Goren looking for something other than a pair of earrings or a necklace for his mom, Eames spoke up.

"You know, you could see that better if you just used his magnifying glass." She gave him a stern look.

He got the point. Max quickly put the pages away and shut the drawer. It was a good thing too because Goren started over to his desk. He gave a look at Max, walked past him, towards Captain Ross's office. He went inside and didn't come out for a minute.

When he did, Goren went up to his desk. "Come on."

Max looked at him vacantly.

Goren waved his hands up, like a conductor. "Up."

Max sighed and got out of the chair silently.

Goren glanced at his partner. "I-I'll be back when I can…taking my lunch break." The only time he usually took his lunch break was when he planned on getting together with Hannah...or if he needed to go to the library. He motioned towards the elevator and Max gloomily started towards them as though he was a dead man walking.

* * *

Max looked around suspiciously. It was a nice delicatessen on Broadway, about ten blocks from Time Square. It wasn't very busy since it was after the normal lunch rush. "Why are we here?" 

Goren unbuttoned his suit jacket and rested his hands on the table. "For lunch. I haven't eaten yet…you are hungry aren't you?"

He narrowed his eyes. "You're not going to yell at me?"

"F-for?"

"The car, this." He motioned to his face.

"I'm not angry." Goren said, opening up the menu. He ran a hand over his tie and glanced at Max who hesitated before opening his own menu. "What happened to your glasses?"

"They fell into the street. Got run over."

"Can you read the menu?"

He continued to try but then pushed it away. "No." Technically he could but he needed to squint and it gave him a headache. The last thing he needed was to add to the pain he was in.

Goren listed off a few things and Max muttered about a particular soup being 'doable'. He waved the waitress over and they ordered their food. Once she was gone, Goren confronted him. "So…why did you skip school today?"

He looked down, played with the edge of the table and shrugged.

"Were you bored?"

"It's the last week of school…all we do is watch movies."

"Really?" He mentally sighed at the thought of all those teachers just showing their students how to slack off instead of teaching them to become responsible adults. But then, he also thought of how exhausting it probably was being a teacher in the first place. "And you didn't like that?"

He shrugged. "They were okay I guess."

Goren tilted his head to the side. "It was those boys…wasn't it? Maybe they said they wanted to…hang out with you and you were just excited about that?"

Max glared at him. "I'm not an idiot." He ran his hand through his hair, revealing more of the bruise around his eye and jaw and the split lip.

Goren thought for a second. "You were suspicious of them?"

Max grabbed the serviette off the table and started fiddling with it, tearing the edges slightly. He didn't look at the detective. "I wasn't sure."

"So…you thought you all were going to do something fun…or maybe they would have some fun at your expense?"

"I guess…I sort of knew they didn't want to hang out with me…they wanted me to make it so the car alarm wouldn't go off...to deactivate it."

"And you refused…that's a good thing. It was a…good decision."

He still avoided eye contact. "I only refused 'cause I was pissed."

Goren tilted his head down so his face was inches from the table. He stared at Max until the boy looked at him then he lifted his head up. "You mean you…you would have gone through with it in another…circumstance?"

"I guess…maybe…if…"

Goren blinked. "If they _wanted_ to be your friends?"

He shrugged. "I dunno…does it matter?"

"Uh, yeah." Goren swallowed. "You're a good kid. I'd hate to see you…start something that can only bring trouble…and pain."

"No one was supposed to get hurt. If the owner just gave up their keys-" He glanced up slightly.

"No." Goren waved his finger at him. Max blinked and lifted his head more. Goren continued. "That's not the point. You know better than this…" They were both silent for a minute. "Your school…do you have _any_ friends there? Your mother, I wasn't sure if she was…exaggerating."

He shook his head. "They all hate me." He glanced down again.

Goren sighed and ran his hand over his face. Back when he was in high school, he was bored and wanted more of a challenge, so his boredom led to other things. One of which was becoming a smart ass, and the other was hanging out with his friends.

He couldn't imagine what it would be like not to have friends during school. Of course, Max had 2 friends in New York he hung out with as much as he could, but with Ty's job and Daj's parents' strict rules, he couldn't see his friends all that often.

Max was lonely. Of course, Goren knew that all things considered, if Jake was alive Max might not be so reckless to start with. He was still grieving.

Goren studied him for a moment. "You know…eventually you and I could become friends?" He paused. "I'd like that."

Max was quiet for a few seconds before he shrugged. "It couldn't hurt I guess."

Goren smiled slightly and gave a nod. That was as good a response as he could expect.

* * *

Goren stepped into the house and shut the door behind him, holding his leather binder in his arm. "How are you feeling?" 

Max sighed. "I'll live."

Goren followed him into the kitchen and put his binder on the counter and hung his suit jacket over the back of the chair. "How'd Hannah react?"

"Not good. You talked to her…" He sighed. "She's making me see a shrink."

"Really?"

He nodded. "Same as the one she made me see a couple times after dad died."

"Right. She told me about that." He paused. "It couldn't really hurt."

He shrugged, turning to the fridge, opening it. "Guess not. But it'll interfere with my social life." He smirked at Goren quickly before grabbing a soda.

Goren smiled, pleased that Max was starting to loosen up around him a little. Their talk earlier seemed to have done a lot of good.

"Bobby!" Noah screamed excitedly hurrying down the stairs, his hand holding the banister for support. His hair was wet and tousled, and he was wearing his blue two piece pajamas that had baseballs, mitts, and baseball bats all over them.

"Noah careful!" Hannah yelled after him.

Goren went over to the bottom of the stairs, grinning at the boy's enthusiasm. "Care-" He was cut off when Noah leapt from the fifth step from the bottom, at the detective.

Goren caught him and chuckled slightly nervous. What if he hadn't caught him? He pushed the thought from his head.

Hannah came down the rest of the steps, with a hand on her chest. She smiled at him. Goren adjusted the boy in his arms and waited for Hannah. When she reached the bottom step, she kissed him like he expected and wanted.

"He's a little hyper tonight. He refuses to let me even read him a story."

"I want Bobby to read to me."

They both looked at him surprised.

"Oh….uh…" Hannah glanced at Goren with a smile.

He smiled back nervously. _'Is it possible for me to screw this up_? _No…it's just a story.'_ "Sure." He studied Noah. "I-I haven't…done that before though."

"I'll help." He smiled at Goren.

"Uh, okay." Goren started back up the stairs with Noah in his arms and Hannah followed.

Goren entered the boy's room and lay him down on the bed before pulling the blanket up to his chest. Hannah watched from the doorway. Goren went over to the small bookshelf. "So uh…which book?"

"Wild things." Noah responded, grabbing his stuffed dinosaur around the neck and getting comfortable.

Goren skimmed a few of the titles and found it. "Where the Wild Things Are?"

"Uh-huh."

He gave a nod and went over then sat on the edge of the bed. He nervously opened to the first page and started to read. He stopped, cleared his throat, then started again.

When the book ended, Noah was really tired.

Goren studied him emotionally and ran a hand over the boy's arm. Noah sat up and hugged the big detective. "Night Bobby."

Goren blinked and his eyes stung. He hugged the boy back. "Good n-night Noah."

Noah kissed the man's cheek then slid back under the blankets.

Hannah wiped her eyes again at the sight before her. Seeing the man she loved and her son bond was more than a little emotional. She went over to her son and kissed him on the cheek. "Eskimo kiss?"

He smiled tiredly and they rubbed their noses together.

"Goodnight sweetie."

"Night mommy." He rolled onto his side, pulling the dinosaur against his chest and closed his eyes.

When she turned around, she saw Goren wiping his eyes. She smiled, just as emotional, and gave him a hug. He buried his head in her neck and held on. The fact that Noah was beginning to think of him as a father was not quite something he had been ready for. He figured it would take much longer for either of the boys to love him. If that ever happened at all, but he didn't want it any other way.

* * *

Max was under the car, tightening a screw trying to earn a little spending money. Thanks to Goren, his mom caved on her rule about him not working until he was 15. Besides, he needed something to do over the summer besides the two week stay at camp he was going to attend for the first time at the beginning of August. "Fuck!" He yelled as oil sprayed all over his chest and face. 

"You okay?"

He pushed himself out from under the car. Several people started laughing. One of the big blurs came over with a cloth and gave it to him. Max took off his oil-covered glasses and wiped his face.

He realized the 'big blur' was Goren. "Thanks." He muttered.

"Looks like the car needs…m-more oil." He chuckled and helped Max to his feet before clapping him on the back.

Over the last month Max had shot up nearly an inch but he looked scrawnier than ever despite eating a ton of food.

Lewis explained what went wrong.

Max frowned. "This isn't coming out of my pay is it?"

"No." Lewis smiled. "It might chase ya off…" He leaned forward and spoke quietly so the other, _certified_ mechanics wouldn't hear. "And you're better than half the guys here."

"Really?"

"Well not today."

"T-thanks again..." Goren was grateful that Lewis could help give Max a break and put an end to his first ever job-hunt. He thanked him probably about four times now over the past few weeks.

"Hey no problem, I know I wanted my first job to be something cool, not like the one I ended up in."

Goren smiled, leaned forward slightly and gave a nod at Max. "Seamstress."

They both snickered.

"It was a Tailor's, there's a _big_ difference." Lewis said unimpressed. "Besides I got fired after a week."

Goren stole Max away from Lewis and rubbed his face as they walked over to the sinks so the boy could wash up. "So…uh, have you decided? A-are you going to Avondale?"

"Oh. That…um, yeah, just for the weekend though." He had been planning on going to Avondale for a week or so before he would go to camp but he liked his job and he didn't want to be away from it for longer than the 2 weeks.

"And…" He rubbed the back of his neck, uneasy about asking him such questions. It felt oddly personal. "Pete…is his dad going to be there?"

Max studied him seriously. "His dad still lives there but Pete says he's been sober for a couple months now."

Goren tilted his head, looking at the boy sadly. 2 months was not what he considered impressive, addictions were hard habits to kick and 2 months was barely more than the beginning steps to recovery.

Max frowned. "I haven't seen Pete in 2 years. I'm going." He raised his voice and it got louder and louder as he went on. "He was the only friend I had in elementary school and I barely ever see him. I can't even email him 'cause they can't afford a computer and-"

"Hey. Easy…I just wanted to know. Just…" He sighed. "If there's any problems…"

Max dried his hands on the paper towels. He nodded. "Yeah whatever."

Goren ran a hand over his face. _'How does Hannah do this?'_ Teenagers, Max in particular, were certainly moody.

Max sighed. "Sorry." He paused before adding, "Pete doesn't have many friends either…'cause of his dad."

"I-I understand." Goren nodded. He didn't want the boy to suffer for his father's mistakes, but he was concerned about Max getting hurt.

As it turned out, there was nothing to worry about. At least not that time.

* * *

Note - thanks to my loyal reviewers! I luv you! Now anyone else? ;0) 


	28. Chapter 28

* * *

A month later…

Goren glanced at the clock and quickly gathered up the dozen or so books scattered across his desk. The psychology books he put back onto the little table next the desk while he tucked the other seven under his arm. He grabbed his suit jacket off the back of his chair. "Oh you're leaving too?"

Eames smiled slightly. "I _do_ have a life you know."

"I just thought…" He cut himself off, knowing very well he'd say something stupid.

It was an important case, as they all were, but it did require some research. So of course Goren had paid a trip to the library on his lunch break.

He was now used to seeing Hannah and the boys often, and hated going back to his apartment alone. Whether it was after a date, or straight from work, he hated it. Everything was just a reminder that his mom was dead, and his brother was nowhere to be seen, and that Hannah wasn't waiting there for him.

He now hated everything about his apartment except for the fact that it was big and had room for everything. Thankfully, he wasn't going to go back there tonight.

He and Eames shared the elevator down to the seventh floor, where Eames got off to meet her date.

When he got to Hannah's place, he just about died. She was wearing a short black 30's style cocktail dress. Her hair was pulled back slightly and curled.

His eyes widened and he opened his mouth to say something, when all the books he was carrying fell from his arm. He tried to catch them but failed. "Uh, hi." He smiled sheepishly and started to pick them all up.

Hannah giggled and squatted, helping him. She smiled warmly. "Happy Birthday Bobby." She leaned forward and kissed him softly.

He dropped another book and drew from the kiss, smiling. "Uh, thanks."

Hannah stood up and stepped inside. Goren picked up the last book and followed, partly nervous, and partly excited. It was the first birthday since his mother had died, and the first one with the woman he hoped to spend the rest of his life with.

He put the books next to the couch, then followed the intoxicating aroma into the kitchen. "Mmm this smells…scrumptious."

Hannah smiled at him brightly. "I love that word."

He went up to her and slipped his arms around her. "You're scrumptious too." He kissed her neck and slid his hands over her.

She giggled and pushed his hand off her butt. "Keep it PG for now…the boys will join us for dinner, they're just upstairs."

He smirked. "You said…'for now' does that mean I get the…privilege of-"

"Max! Noah, look who's here."

Goren turned, to see the boys coming into the room. Noah ran at him. He was ready and bent down to receive the hug. "Happy Birthday!" The boy exclaimed happily, running into his arms.

"Hey. Happy Birthday." Max gave him a nod and started to help his mom scoop up some of the food.

"What are we having?" Goren asked after letting Noah go.

"Chicken Parmesan of course." It was his favourite.

Goren had to stop himself from getting emotional. It was already the best birthday in a long time. He drew in a deep breath and excused himself to change, though some of that was to pull himself together.

Once he was in Hannah's bedroom he opened one of the middle drawers to the dresser and took out a pair of semi-casual slacks and a nice sweater. It was _his_ drawer. After a few nights staying over, Hannah cleared out a drawer for him to make it easier. Goren changed and hung his suit up next to the blue dress shirt and tie of his that were already in the closet.

To make more room, Hannah had gotten rid of the old desk that had been sticking half out of the closet. She barely ever used it anyways so it wasn't much of a sacrifice. However, now there was a lot of empty room on the left half of the closet. It gave the detective some ideas.

Goren smiled, thinking. _'I can afford it now…'_

He checked himself out in the mirror quickly, pleased that he only had a few more pounds to lose to get back to his ideal weight. He then went downstairs to find the dinning room table all set for them.

Goren took his time eating, savouring the meal, the conversation, and the company.

"_Mom_." Noah whined and covered his mouth, trying to keep THE secret.

"Hush. Be patient."

"But mom…"

She gave him a stern look and went quiet.

Goren studied the boy. "You need something? I can get it for you."

Noah looked hopefully at him then at his mom. He couldn't keep IT a secret any longer.

Hannah smiled at Goren. "I think he's going to burst soon if we don't do this now…" She got up. "Wait one minute."

"Do what?" He started to get up. "I can-" He reached for his plate.

"No. Don't touch a thing." She disappeared down the small hallway leading to the laundry room.

Max waited until he heard footsteps then got up and turned off the lights.

Goren looked around then stared at the doorway. _'She didn't…' _She did. He saw Hannah carefully appear in the hall, carrying a cake with a few candles on it. Goren blinked in disbelief.

Noah let out a breath excitedly, glad he didn't have to keep quiet about how much he wanted to eat the cake, or to let Goren know the cake even existed.

They sang Goren 'happy birthday', Noah belting the song at the top of his lungs happily. Hannah put the cake in front of him.

Goren's eyes stung and he looked at them all emotionally. Cleared his throat then took a deep breath.

"Make a wish."

Goren stared at the cake for a second then blew out the candles. "T-thank you." He drew in another deep breath.

Hannah took the candles out and put them aside. "It's marble cake. I remember you mentioned that once."

"It's my…my favourite."

Max got up and went into the kitchen to get plates and utensils. He brought them to the dinning room and was in time to hear Goren ask, "It's a beautiful cake, where'd you get it?"

"Mom made it." Max answered for her.

He looked at her surprised. "Y-you made this?"

She blushed. "It wasn't really that difficult."

Goren studied the cake. It was round with what looked a professionally sculpted form, with icing that didn't have the slightest ripple in it. It looked almost like snow. It also had 'Happy Birthday Bobby!' Scripted across the top, and a fancy design around the edges. "But it's…amazing."

She smiled softly. "It doesn't seem good enough…you deserve so much more."

He watched her emotionally and this time couldn't help the tears at the corners of his eyes. He tried to wipe them away discreetly. All but the 4 year old noticed.

Once he got his bearings, they had some cake and he opened his presents. Max got him a new archaeology book and Noah drew him a picture. The picture was of all of them, as a family. And if that didn't make him emotional already, he opened Hannah's gift to him. It made him speechless.

He stared at the painting and put a hand over his mouth, his eyes watering.

"I hope you don't mind but I borrowed a few of your photos so I could get the likeness right."

Goren stared at the painting which was of him and his mom. "It's…"

"I can redo it if you want something else." Hannah said self-consciously, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"No it's…it's…remarkable." He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, a couple tears falling onto his cheeks. He wiped his face then got to his feet and pulled Hannah into a hug.

Afterwards, Noah was put to bed and Max gave them their privacy. He stayed up in his room for the rest of the night, which he pretty much would have done anyways.

* * *

Hannah locked the bedroom door giving him a little push. Goren stepped away from her and watched her seriously. Hannah reached up behind her and unzipped her dress. It fell to her feet, revealing a fancy half see-through lace and mesh bra and matching underwear and garter.

He couldn't speak as all blood rushed from his head. Goren took a step forward, kissed her, and pressed her against the door and let his hands roam her body.

"Anything you want." Hannah whispered in his ear as he started kissing her neck.

He drew back. "I love you."

"I love you too."

He kissed her passionately, pulled her against him, lifting her up a foot off the ground and carried her over to the bed.

* * *

Hannah sat up, pulling the blanket over her chest, as Goren walked into the room, carrying a tray with two pieces of cake and two glasses of milk. He put the tray down to shut the door. Once it was closed, he then took the tray into bed with him. They both had their cake happily. 

"So how did you like your birthday?"

"It was…perfect. Thank you."

She smiled and kissed him on the cheek. "Anytime."

Goren felt blissfully happy and for once didn't care that he hadn't gotten around to his research. It was the happiest day of his life.

* * *

1 week later… 

Goren studied the ring seriously. _'Will she like it? What if she doesn't? It seems so much like her style though…what was her other ring like? Oh yeah, she didn't have one…what if she says no?' _He blinked, his stomach tightening in knots. _'What if she says no…'_

Finding the right ring was damn near impossible. He had checked dozens of stores for the past few months, keeping an eye on prices and styles. He had known when he met Hannah he wanted to marry her and this was a necessary part of that. He had at one point thought finding a ring would be fun. But then, that was before he actually went around to all the stores, which took forever considering he had to fit it in between everything else he had to do in his busy schedule.

Apparently different types of gold mattered, as did platinum. He didn't really understand the difference between gold and platinum but one of the jewellers told him about how platinum was much stronger than gold. Well, it's not like the ring was going to be used to lift big rigs or anything so Goren didn't really see the point.

So he had decided on gold.

He rifled through Hannah's jewellery box once and discovered many types of stones, beading, or silver jewellery. There was nothing gold so it didn't make things easier.

If he wasn't so intent on keeping his proposal a secret, he would have asked Max. Though, he doubted that would make a difference because the boy didn't care at all about his mom's wardrobe or her accessories.

So, he went to option number 3.

He took Hannah to a jewellery store under false pretences.

"What do you need here?" She asked curiously.

"Your birthday present."

She blinked. "But it's not for another five weeks."

"I know…I just…want to get an idea of what you want."

"But…" She glanced around. "Really?" Pretty much all her jewellery was bought from little bodega's and they generally were under twenty dollars a piece.

"So…how about…" The first thing he saw were a set of bracelets. "A bracelet?"

She walked over. "They're pretty…well except _that_ one…but I tend to get annoyed with bracelets, they always slide up and down and get in the way. I broke one once 'cause it got caught on a door jam...though, I like anklets."

He smiled and chuckled lightly. "What?"

"It's true."

"Only you…"

"Implying I'm clumsy?"

"Who's implying?"

She gave him a playful shove.

"Okay so…maybe earrings? You like earrings."

Hannah went over to a set of earrings and pointed out a few. "Oh those are beautiful…oh and I like these."

"How about these ones? They would look great with your complexion." Offered the sales person.

"No…but do you have it in white gold?"

"No."

"Why not?" Goren asked.

"The manufacturer only makes earrings like that in yellow gold."

"But-"

Hannah interrupted. "That's okay, I like these ones more." She pointed to simple diamond studs.

"They're…simple."

"Classic, and they'll never go out of style. Can you imagine spending all that money for something and in two years they'll look hideous?"

_'Shit, she's right. What if I get her a ring that looks ridiculous once the trend dies?' _

"Can you keep these ones out? I want to look around some more." She went around the store and Goren followed so he could try to deduce what she liked and disliked.

Hannah hated yellow gold, or big fancy loops or oversized stones. She loved diamonds and gemstones. But then, that was a given. She also talked of practicality. What would break easily, what wouldn't, and if anything got in the way of her everyday life.

"I can't decide."

"I'll pick one for you."

"Don't pick anything expensive or I'll feel like someone might jump me when I go outside."

He shook his head. "L-let me worry about that."

She kissed him. "Thank you…but you don't have to do this. I can-" He silenced her with a kiss. He didn't get her gift that day, but he went to a jewellery store and decided on a ring. THE ring. He knew Hannah would like it despite his usual fears he had about keeping her happy. While he was there, he also bought her her 'birthday gift'.

Truthfully, he didn't mind getting her something extra because it wasn't expensive at all. Not really. He bought her a necklace which was a small heart-shaped diamond pendant hanging on a thin silver chain. It was simple and with the sale the store had, it came to $98.

His first thought that had come to mind about the price was his mom. Goren still kept an eye on his finances, despite paying off the loans a little while ago. It was all because he was in the habit of making sure his mom got everything she needed and now that she was gone, he didn't know what to do with his habit.

As for the engagement ring, Goren had decided on a white gold band, with three round diamonds next to each other. The diamonds were on the average size, and sparkled beautifully, but according to the jeweller, there were better qualities of diamonds. Of course, Goren couldn't afford that so he just got her the standard diamonds. The style itself was similar to about a million other rings but there was just enough different about it so Goren knew that it just seemed perfect for Hannah.

If it was up to him, he'd get her all of King Solomon's diamonds. However, he made do with what the store, and his budget restricted him to.

Still, the ring itself was probably one of his favourites out of all the rings he saw, expensive or otherwise.

When he got back to his apartment, he put both the engagement ring and the box with the necklace in it, in his sock drawer. He nervously fidgeted, staring at the closed drawer for sometime afterwards.

* * *

Hannah brushed her hair in front of the small mirror in the bathroom. Goren bent over the side of the sink and spit out his toothpaste. If it weren't so crammed and hectic in the morning, he would like the morning routine. 

Once her hair was up in a ponytail, Hannah cleaned the brush, put it away and started brushing her own teeth while Goren cleaned under his fingernails.

They weaved and dodged each other until they were both done with the washroom. Max hurried in after them.

They headed downstairs comfortably. Hannah yawned a couple times. If she could help it, she wasn't really a morning person, despite having to wake up early for her kids and for work. "Coffee."

"I'll make it."

"Your coffee's not strong enough."

"Yeah but if I had your coffee I won't sleep for a year."

"It's not that bad."

"Uh…yeah, it is."

"Well I only put in-"

"4 cups."

"So?"

He smirked and shook his head. He went into the kitchen and began to make it. "So…tonight…could I come over? To do…research?"

"Is that what we're calling it?"

He smiled sheepishly and shifted his feet. "Uh…for work."

"Okay, but you have to take a break for dinner…not like last night."

"Sorry about that. I didn't mean…"

"I just want to make sure you mix it up a little bit." She kissed him on the cheek and went over to the cupboard to grab some cereal.

Goren studied her, pleased. She had a way of pointing things out without making him feel bad or guilty about it. He loved that about her.

He had the urge to propose to her then and there, but resisted, wanting to wait until her birthday so she least expected it. After all, she was expecting earrings or a necklace. If he surprised her with both gifts, she would be twice as shocked, and twice as excited. Or at least, that's what he hoped. Part of him wasn't sure if it would just be too much. Either way, he knew now wasn't the time.

"What?" Hannah smiled at him, taking in a couple bits of Count Chocula's cereal, from her hand and into her mouth.

"Hmm?" He blinked. He was staring.

She pointed at her handful of cereal. "It's only a little…I'm not _technically_ stealing from the boys. Besides, I did pay for it."

He smiled. "I was just…" He leaned forward and flashed a smile. "Perplexed by how envious I am."

"Envious? Of what?"

"The cereal."

Her face brightened and she giggled lightly, giving him a playful swat. He moved closer and she gladly kissed him.

* * *


	29. Chapter 29

_Thank you to MaryT and BoyyM for your continual reviews. I appreciate it **so** much. Thanks!_

* * *

Goren bent over the body and smelled the young woman's suit. "Almost… musty?" He muttered to himself, half-forgetting his partner wasn't watching over his shoulder. 

Nothing obvious to him came to mind. He glanced over at the body nearby, which was a woman about ten years older. One was slumped over the table, and the other next to it on the ground. As far as they could tell there didn't seem to be any reason for their deaths. They were both young and healthy looking, and there was no attack. Witnesses described it as both women simply having lunch t the tables out front of their work, along with dozens of other people. Then they simply fell over and died.

Eames spoke to the witnesses while Goren ordered the crime scene photographer to take pictures from nearly a dozen different angles of the two victims.

After Eames was done talking to the witnesses she went back over to her partner. He stood staring at the woman slumped over the table, with one arm across his chest and his other arm resting against it, bent, his hand under his chin. He was thinking. "No one saw anything…as usual." She looked at him curiously. "Got something?"

He motioned with his hand, in the direction of the older victim. "Well, she went first…she didn't move from her spot. So…whoever killed them must have surprised her then went directly after…after her friend." He tilted his head. "We'll have to wait for Rogers to find the entry point."

"You're thinking poison?"

He nodded. "I can't…I don't see an injection mark but I'd assume it's…in the back some place?"

Eames studied the scene again then looked up at him, a thought coming to mind. "CSU's going through the trash, I bet they'll find some food containers with the poison in it."

"Ingestion? Both of them?" He asked confused. He pointed to the remnants of the food that was still on the table. "But…she had fast food…_she_ had vegetarian…what food would they have in common?"

She smirked. Sometimes she was surprised at him. "They may have shared."

He met her with a blank stare. "Shared what?"

"Some fries maybe?"

"Why would-" He paused, seeing Eames' smirk. He gave a nod. "Right. A woman thing."

Women just tended to share food more often then men, and if one or both were worried about calories sharing would help ease their fears. Or they simply couldn't eat all their food and didn't want to waste it.

* * *

The Morgue… 

Rogers handed the file to Goren, knowing he would insist on seeing it first anyways. "Cause of death…poisoning."

Goren flipped past the first page.

"What kind of poison?" Eames asked seriously.

"Hemlock. We found significant amounts in each of their stomach contents."

"Really?" Goren asked, his interest peaked. He turned to Eames. "Socrates' method of execution was hemlock poisoning…it causes paralysis?" He asked Rogers, making sure his information was correct.

She nodded. "Yes, but these two had 3 times the lethal dose in their system. Death would have been instantaneous."

"But…" Goren pointed to the deceased woman on the table behind him. "She had time to get up and take a few steps…"

"That's probably because she had a substantially smaller amount of the poison in her system than her friend."

"W-what food was the hemlock found in?"

"Their salad most likely. If mixed properly, the dressing would mask most of the taste and smell."

"Hemlock…t-that's not very…common to find…is it?" Goren tilted his head ever so slightly, deducing that if hemlock was common than more killers would use it.

"That depends. Hemlock looks a lot like fennel so it can be overlooked to the casual eye…but to distinguish between the two one can just crush the leaves. Hemlock gives off a musty smell."

Goren shared a glance with his partner. "We should…their families. We need to speak with them."

She nodded in agreement.

* * *

Hannah sat impatiently at the table, trying to appear as patient as possible. She bit her tongue. Her hair was up in a clip and she wore a sleek black dress. 

Goren poured her the wine, amused.

She noticed his smirk. She raised her eyebrows. "I look completely ridiculous don't I? As impatient as a fruit fly…"

He snickered lightly. "I could just do this now."

She smiled brightly, excitedly. "Oh you don't have to."

He shook his head, grinning and pulled out the flat rectangular box from his pocket. "How did you know….t-that…it would be tonight?"

She shifted in her seat, wanting to know what he got her as an early birthday present, as she had been wondering for over a week. "A lot's been going on recently and you're busy at work…yet you had a whole evening planned, not just dinner….not that dinner isn't great because it is, it's very nice here and…" She put a hand to her mouth. "Okay I'm starting to babble."

He chuckled and put the box in front of her. "Open."

She opened it slowly. Goren studied her face as she did so. "Robert it's…"

She didn't have to say anything else. He knew she liked it. After all she called him 'Robert' instead of 'Bobby' which generally meant she was emotional over something.

Hannah's eyes stung. "It's so beautiful."

"Here." He got up and went to her side of the table, took out the necklace from the box and undid the clasp. Then he put it around her neck. It hung down to about an inch above her cleavage. She kissed him gratefully then studied the necklace around her neck. It sparkled beautifully from the candlelight coming from the lone tealight centrepiece.

Goren went back over to his chair and sat down pleased. There was a lot of pressure when it came to giving gifts to those you loved. Screwing it up could easily lead to misinterpretation. Especially with a girlfriend. "So you like it?"

"I love it." She wiped her eyes. "So beautiful and my first diamond too." She took her handbag and opened it before pulling out her compact. She quickly glanced at her face to make sure nothing was smudged then admired her necklace for a second before putting it away. "Thank you so much. I love you."

He blinked, stuck on something she just said. "Your…_first_ diamond? Well…you were married…didn't…" He trailed off, not sure if he should bring of marriage just yet. He had it all planned...well, not _all_ of it, but he knew when and where. It would happen on her actual birthday, so she could never forget the date and it would be extra special.

"The only jewellery I ever got from Jake was my wedding band." She smiled. "You are _so_ sweet." She grabbed her wine glass. "You're chances of getting lucky tonight have just gone up."

Goren nearly split a gut from laughing. He hadn't expected her to say that then and there, right in the restaurant.

After dinner, the couple went for a nice walk in the warm summer night.

"You said that there was…a new woman starting at the gardens last week…" He led Hannah over to a bench so she could sit down and rest her feet. He had only just remembered that she had mentioned the new employee to him a couple days before.

She sat down and Goren took a seat next to her, slipping his arm around her. He liked walking through Central Park with her. Well, any place, but parks were especially nice to walk with her. It was just more romantic this way. "Yep. Lydia Evans." She made a face.

Goren smiled. "What? You don't like her?"

"No, she gives me the creeps."

"Really? Why?"

"I don't know. I just get this feeling…like I should watch my back or something." She smiled slightly. "She's probably going to be the nasty-gossipy type…and I've already seen her be a little passive-aggressive…and she flirts with Jeffrey a lot."

"Jeffrey?" Goren tried to think for a second. "He's…the head of human resources?"

She nodded. "But it's totally inappropriate. I mean, right there in front of all of us, to flirt with him? She could have at least waited until they were alone, I mean _really_."

"Well…I'd flirt with you in front of everyone." He flashed a smile at her.

She snickered. "Okay let's see it then."

His smile faded for a second then spread into a sheepish smile. "I uh…" He rubbed the back of his neck, not sure what to say to that.

Hannah giggled and took his hand that was draped over her shoulder and let her fingers play with his. "You're so cute when you don't know what to say."

* * *

Goren studied himself in the mirror and ran a hand through his hair. "I need to cut my hair." 

Hannah wore a purple short sleeved dress that came just past her knees with tone on tone patterns all over it. There was a white camisole underneath that was sewn to the dress and the purple material came nearly down to her waist so the camisole attracted some attention. She went up to him and slipped her arms around him. "I love your curls."

"Another couple months and….and it could look like an afro."

She smiled. "I'd love to see that."

He turned to her with a smirk. "I bet you would." He ran a finger across the thin chain of the necklace she wore. She hadn't taken it off since he gave it to her a week before. "So uh…I guess I'll see you sometime tonight then?" The detectives had to go upstate to check out a lead and they weren't sure how long that would take.

She nodded and spoke with a sly smile. "If it's late and you want to talk…or anything…you can wake me up."

He grinned and gave a nod. "Count on it."

Hannah began adjusting his tie, which was a habit of hers. She liked to make sure it was just right. Goren loved it because it was a sign of affection.

It was just before lunch, when Jeffrey Alcott, one of her few bosses came into her office. "Hannah? I need to speak with you."

She hung up the phone. "Sure."

As it turned out, it was a conversation Hannah was not ready for, nor did she think it would ever take place. She was good at her job.

* * *

Goren put down his sub and answered his phone. "Goren." The seriousness melted when he heard Hannah's voice. "Hi…no, Eames and I are just having lunch…" He frowned. "What's wrong? You sound…upset." He paused. "What? Really? But…why? I thought…" He got up from the table and held his hand up as if to say 'I'll be right back' and left the diner where he could talk in private. 

Eames finished her lunch, watching her partner through the window, pace slowly back and forth.

Eventually he stopped, ran a hand over his face, let out a heavy sigh, gave a nod, and hung up. He took a second before coming into the diner. He slid back into the booth.

"Is everything okay?"

"Uh…no."

"Is it Max or Noah?"

"No, they're fine…but Hannah…her boss just fired her."

"Why?"

"Something about the dress code." He picked up his drink and was about to take a sip when he added. "It doesn't make sense. She never…she never wears anything…inappropriate." He shook his head and took a sip. Hannah may not have dressed like a blazer-wearing lawyer as he often saw many professional women dress, but there was never anything wrong with her clothes. She also always acted completely professionally at work. It just wasn't right.

* * *

Goren used his key, unlocked the front door and went inside. The alarm beeped with a warning. He quickly typed in the password, shut the door, locked it, and reset the alarm. He turned around to find a light on in the living room. He went into the room and found Hannah sitting on a stool at the island. 

She had her hair up messily in a bun, she was wearing a matching pajama shorts and top under her robe which was left open, and she was eating one of Noah's chocolate pudding cups.

She wiped her mouth when she saw him.

He sighed, put his binder down and went over to her. He pulled her into a hug. "It's…it's going to be okay. I promise."

Her eyes stung again. "I swear if I knew he thought I should wearing something more business-y I would have bought something."

"He never told you…ever?"

"No." She shook her head and drew from him, wiping her eyes. "I don't understand…and…Max…" Her eyes burned more. "He called Lewis to ask for more shifts and now he's talking about dropping out from that play he was so excited about just to make ends meat and what if I have to use his or Noah's inheritance? I don't want to do that because it's theirs…and what kind of mother am I? I can't provide for my kids…" She put a hand over her mouth and started crying despite how much she tried to stop, it was no use.

Goren pulled her into a hug again. "You're a great mother. You love your kids, you protect them, you sacrifice everything for their happiness…this isn't your fault. It was…a…a miscommunication. We'll figure this out…m-maybe there's still a chance to…to get your job back."

She shut her eyes miserably. "It'll be a waste of time."

"M-maybe not."

She sighed. "I'm so glad you're here."

He blinked emotionally. He loved to hear that. Goren kissed her forehead and just held her for some time.

* * *

Note - I hope this doesn't sound all thrown together quickly. I do have a plan for everything so you'll just have to see where I'm taking this... 

Also, I would love your opinions on the progression of my story so if you feel up to it please R&R. Thanks!


	30. Chapter 30

Goren came downstairs and it was nearly ten o'clock. Max was in the kitchen making a sandwich for his lunch, to take to work. After consoling Hannah, neither of the two could fall asleep for awhile.

"Hey." Max muttered.

"Hey…" Goren poured a mug of coffee. He was grateful it was already made for him. "Thanks."

He shrugged. "I needed some too."

"N-not about this…about…well, your mom said you offered to work more hours?"

"I guess."

Goren gave a nod. "Thanks…it was very…good of you. Your mom's lucky to have such a...responsible kid." He paused. "But…well school just started and…you're excited about the play. Don't quit. If your mother needs any help…I'll loan her some money."

"No offence, but you're a cop…we both know you don't make a lot."

"I still can help…a little…and your mom will find a job…don't worry. And don't give anything up. Hannah would hate that."

Max was quiet.

Goren noticed what the teenager was making and winced. "Is _that_ what you're going to eat?" The sandwich, if that's what it could be called, had a ton of chips stuck between the slices of bread and some other sort of junk food. "What _is_ that?"

"Ruffles chips, peanut butter, and skittles."

Goren blinked. "That's…different."

"It's good."

"And y-you…intend to keep that down?"

"I have before."

Goren blinked, tilted his head and gave a nod. "At least eat something healthy with it." He grabbed a banana from the fruit bowl and tossed it to him. Max caught it easily.

"Ooh banana. Right." Max pulled the top layer of bread off, peeled the banana and started to slice it up onto the sandwich.

Goren raised his eyebrows at the boy. He heard of peanut butter and banana sandwiches but none that included skittles and potato chips. "Any chance you're pregnant?"

Max smiled. "Not that I know of." When he was finished, he squished the sandwich and put it into a zip-lock bag. "What?"

Goren held up his hands, smiling in amusement. "Uh…Hannah said…" He changed the subject, going over to a chair and sitting down to have breakfast. "You…you have a girlfriend?"

"Huh? Oh…her. No. Cosma's an exchange student…a friend."

"Just a friend?"

He nodded.

"So you don't…_want_ to be more with her?"

"No. It's not like that with her…besides I barely know her. School just started and it's her first year here."

"What's she like?" He sipped his coffee.

"She's a junior."

"And? Where's she from? Her name…is it Italian?"

He nodded. "She's from a small town just outside of Rome. She's going to teach me Italian."

"What does she look like?"

"Umm…right now her hair's pink, blue, and blond…it's short and…she's got braces…and her glasses are a thick red and um…she only wears black…and…well she's a little chubby I guess. But she's nice…and funny."

Goren nodded. "Well…whatever you do…NEVER comment on her weight…unless she asks you, then just say she looks good…don't say things like 'you look good today…leave out the 'today' part…a-and if she ever asks you…i-if she looks bad for any reason…just say no. Lie if you have to."

Max studied him. "So you want me to lie?"

Goren held up his hand. "Trust me…it's one time you would need to lie…the only time. Women can be…well their weight, even if they're perfect like your mother, it can be a sensitive issue." He smirked. "Just trust me. Friend or girlfriend…eventually someone will ask you if they look fat…the answer is **always** 'no'." He thought of another piece of advice, smiling, remembering another instance he had gotten himself into some trouble. "And if you don't like something they're wearing…say something like 'it doesn't do you justice' or anything…as long as it's not 'that looks terrible on you'."

"Why? I thought girls liked honesty."

"Yeah…but not with their appearance."

Max sighed. "Okay…"

Hannah came downstairs, with Noah following her. "How do I look?"

Goren and Max exchanged a smile then he told Hannah the truth. "Beautiful."

"No seriously. Am I business like?"

"Very much so."

Hannah smiled at him, adjusted the suit jacket. It was her only one and she never wore it. "If things go well then I suppose I'll need to buy more of these."

"Well…you don't look very comfortable…unbutton your jacket."

Hannah did so and felt a little better. "Okay, I'm going to go drop Noah off, go the gardens and speak with Megan and Jeffrey to see what I can do about getting my job back…if nothing comes of that then I'll spend a few hours sending out resumes then I'll pick Noah up and come back here." She pointed to Max. "Did you set up the computer for me so I can use it while you're out?"

He nodded. "I put you under your own username so you can do whatever you want without it screwing it up my stuff."

"Username? I thought that was only for emails or something."

"Turn on the computer and two choices will pop up. My name and yours. Just click on yours."

"Oh okay. Thanks." She went over and kissed his cheek. "You're acting so grown up lately…I'm so proud of you."

Max tried to hide his smile but failed.

Hannah turned to Goren. "Thank you for everything...and helping to calm me down." She kissed him softly on the lips. She turned to Noah, not wanting to seem like she was neglecting him and added with a smile. "And thank _you_ for being such a sweet little boy." She gave what she liked to call the chipmunk kisses. Several kisses, quickly, one after the other, on his cheek.

Noah giggled and wiped his cheek when his mom drew back. The chipmunk kisses always made him giggle.

"Okay. Have a good day." She motioned to Max. "Call if you need a ride later." When he responded, she took Noah's hand, the file folder with the resumes in it, her purse, keys, and then they left.

* * *

Unfortunately, she couldn't get her job back and Hannah felt like going back to talk rationally with her bosses was a big waste of time. A little humiliating too. But, she did as she had told Goren and her boys, gone ahead and sent out resumes. She spent 3 full hours, going from one building to the next, covering as many places in Brooklyn as she could think of. The following day she had gone to Manhattan, and spent a few days just handing resumes out on foot. When she came home, she'd spend some time sending some out online too.

She got a few calls from jobs she expected would call anyways. Places like bars, bookstores, and other merchants that were barely more than minimum wage. But she also got a few calls from more promising companies and got some interviews out of them.

Hannah huffed with irritation. "It's not legal is it? Clearly that guy wanted to hire some young bimbo instead of me…that's discrimination. I can't believe people still do that sort of thing…" She rambled on, neglecting the rest of her lunch.

It didn't surprise Goren at all that discrimination still existed. The problem was it was harder to prove than ever. People weren't as vocal about stuff like that as they used to be. In Hannah's case, he doubted it would be proven at all. "You have another interview tomorrow...and it sounds like a good job too."

"That's not the point…and I can't believe you're so calm about this. I needed the job and it goes to some tart who may or may not sleep with the boss and she only got the job because she has long legs and big boobs and looks like she's twelve."

He smirked. "You want me to arrest him?"

She sighed. "No…" She stabbed her salad and grumbled, shoving the food into her mouth.

Goren put his hand over his mouth to hide his smile. He had to admit that sometimes he liked when she got worked up. "You'll get the job tomorrow."

"Taff boff buh poinff."

"Huh?" He smiled, his eyebrows raised.

She swallowed and wiped her mouth. "That's not the point."

He tilted his head, studying her. "There's always going to be bad businesses and terrible bosses out there. Unfortunately you're at a…disadvantage because…it seems…there's more power to the higher educated."

She studied the rest of her salad and sighed. "I'm sorry." She frowned at him. "I'm not great company today…and I'm not really hungry."

"That's okay."

"No it's not. You went through all this trouble to make me a nice lunch and I have to ruin it."

He waved his hand. "Looking for work is…stressful."

"But you've been so sweet and I've been such a whiney bit-"

"No you haven't."

"Yes I have. For the past couple days I've done nothing but go on and on about this. You really should tell me to shut up sometimes."

He blinked and frowned. "Why would I do that?" It struck a deep cord with him.

-_ Flashback -_

_Goren rubbed his eyes, hearing yelling coming from somewhere outside his and his brother's bedroom door. He must have been five or six. "Frank?" He sat up and rubbed his face again. "Frank!" He hissed at his older brother, who was sleeping on the lower half of the bunk bed. _

_"What?!"_

_"What's going on? Why's mom and dad so mad?"_

_"Go back to sleep, it's nothing. Probably mom just nagging him again." Frank rolled back over and let himself fall back asleep._

_Goren glanced over the edge of the bunk bed and gripped the side of it. It was a long way down. He nervously climbed down the ladder and crept out of his room. Once he made it to the end of the hall he took a peek into the living room. His parents seemed even louder now._

_"Why do you always have to bark at me about stupid perfume. I'm around women at work alright?! Of course some of that smell will get on me." _

_"That's a lie and you know it! It's like with that...that horse track of yours. You spend so much time there and so little with the boys and me that you're practically a stranger here!"_

_"Just shut up! You don't know what the hell you're talking about. The boys adore me! We get along just fine."_

_"You're so blind you can't even see what's staring at you in the face! Frank only wants to get you to stop putting so much pressure on him and Bobby just wants you to notice him! You're not much of a father and barely even a husband!"_

_Mr. Goren slammed his fist into the face of the fridge. "Shut up! Just shut the hell up!" _

_Little Robert Goren stared wide eyed at his parents, scared to even breathe. His mother noticed him. "Bobby." She took a deep breath and came over to him, forcing a smile to her face. "Did our little disagreement wake you?"_

_- End Flashback - _

"Because I don't know when to shut up."

He blinked and leaned back in his chair for a second then got up. Goren ran a hand over his hair, his temper flaring. "Do you really think I would say that to you? That I would…" He took a couple steps closer. "Be so cold to you?" He would never be so callous with her. He would not turn into his father.

"No I-"

"I can't believe this, I've never said anything that…harsh…to you before and you think I'd actually say something like that?"

She got up and took a step forward. "Bobby you're getting worked up. Just-"

"Don't tell me not to do or what to feel. You don't know what I feel right now!"

"Bobby I-"

"Just…maybe you should go."

"What? But two minutes ago-"

"That was then. If you actually think I'd be so cruel then just go. I'll talk to you tomorrow." He turned his back to her and already hated that he had done that. He wanted to spend his life with her and he was yet again, more worried about his heart being broken than he was with hers. _'It's not right...fix this Bobby...you son of a bitch...turn around and apologize...she doesn't know why it bothers you so much...just tell her...'_

"Damnit Robert! You can be so damn infuriating!!" She walked around him and stopped in front of him. "Stop it! I happen to think you're the best man I've ever met so stop pushing me away! I hate it when you do that and if you think I'm just going to let you find excuses to get rid of me then you obviously don't know me very well! Now whatever your issue is with people thinking you're insensitive or heartless…get over it! I love you damnit and if you think-"

He pulled her into a kiss, then another, then another. He wasn't going to leave her, he just thought a few hours apart might have been good, but already he knew that was a bad idea. Goren did want to marry her, he loved her more than he loved anyone; however, that didn't make his issues go away.

He fell against her, leaning against the table. Goren swung his arm, shoving the plates, glasses, and everything else off the table and onto the floor. Then he lifted her up onto the surface.

She laid down and tried to breathe.

Goren pushed up the bottom of her dress and slipped her underwear off then worked his belt. Despite Hannah's concerns about whether the maple table could hold or not, it didn't stop them.

He smiled against her lips as he lived out one of the fantasies he had been too guarded to share with anyone in the past. Maybe it was because of the adult films he had seen in the past, between girlfriends, but having sex on the kitchen table was something he had always had the desire to do. And it was definitely worth the wait.

Afterwards, they talked about why Goren was so sensitive earlier and why he didn't want to ever tell her to 'shut up'. It was also the first time he ever told anyone that he suspected that his mom may have been beaten by his dad once or twice, or perhaps even more than that. They talked for awhile before they moved to the bedroom.

* * *

She played with his chest hair and affectionately kissed his shoulder.

"I love you."

"I love you too." She lifted her head up and kissed him on the cheek.

After a couple minutes Goren ran a hand through his curly hair, smiling contentedly, thinking about Hannah's birthday in four days. To think in four days they could be engaged, put a smile on his face. His smile faded a little as she got out of bed. "Where are you going?"

"I'm hungry." She threw on his t-shirt and blew him a kiss from the doorway before leaving the room.

He could faintly hear the radio, and Hannah singing along to it. Goren grinned, listened for a minute, then got out of bed.

He found Hannah dancing in the kitchen as she began to make some pancakes for them. He leaned against the wall, crossed his arms, and grinned happily.

When she spotted him, she just flashed a smile then danced her way over to him. Goren took her hand and they started dancing together, bouncing around to the song 'Aint too Proud to Beg' by The Temptations.

* * *

Goren's hand stroked Hannah's thigh as they started kissing again, on top of the blankets on her bed. After most of the day spent just the two of them, they came back to her house where Goren did some more research and Hannah spent some time with the boys. After the kids went to bed, the couple had a little time together before going to bed themselves.

He was very happy with how things were progressing. Goren was becoming more and more certain that Hannah's response when he goes to pop the question would be 'yes'. After all, he practically lived at her house anyways, it was already a little like they were married. Except of course, having to go back and forth to his apartment, and trying not to be seen sneaking in and out of Hannah's bedroom by Max or Noah.

Of course, Max knew all the same, but he didn't want to be caught in the act. It was just better that he try to be discreet.

He withdrew from the kiss. "Why do you like wearing…m-my shirts?"

She smiled brightly. "They smell like you."

"I smell?" He smiled, amused.

"Yes. You smell great. Besides it's not _all_ the time and when you think about it-"

Goren kissed her, knowing she might start off on a rant.

Hannah sighed and let him pull her closer.

The black cell phone on the bedside table started ringing. Goren broke the kiss and sighed before picking it up. "Goren…another one? Yeah…where?" He gave a nod then hung up. "I have to…"

She smiled and stretched on her back. "I'm just going to have to keep the bed warm for you."

He groaned. "Now I won't be able to…" He ran a hand over his face. "Are you trying to get me…excited?"

"Only a little." She smirked before sitting up. "Why is it working?"

"A little." He went over to his drawer and opened it. "Where are my clothes?"

"Oh, sorry. Laundry room. I tried putting your shirt away yesterday and I accidentally spilt my perfume all over your things…but don't worry it didn't ruin your clothes they just smelled, so I washed them and now they don't."

He blinked, smiling. "Okay…can you get them for me?"

She raised her eyebrows.

He held up his hand. "I don't want…we're trying to be…tasteful…me walking around in my boxers isn't exactly-"

"I think that's tasteful."

He smiled and rubbed the back of his neck. "Uh…the boys?"

She got out of bed, smiling at his discomfort. "All right I'll get them for you…" She grabbed her robe and pulled it on, tying it closed. "Do you want me to put on some coffee for you?"

He chuckled. "Uh, no. I'll pick some up on the way."

"It's not _that_ bad." She muttered, defending her coffee-making skills.

"Yeah it is." He responded just as she was leaving the room.

* * *

Goren looked over the crime scene photos seriously, moving them around like a puzzle on his desk. It felt as though something was out of place.

He ran a hand over his mouth and studied how the old woman was laying on the ground. This death was different than the other murders yet they were connected. She had Hemlock in her system but she was also asphyxiated. Mrs. Gertrude Patterson was in her late sixties and found dead in her home just hours before. Unlike the other two women that were found dead, Mrs. Patterson was a wealthy woman. Something struck Goren curious about that. He had a feeling that her wealth was a factor but that it wasn't the main reason for the woman's death.

He couldn't put his finger on it.

It was also curious that all victims were women. Of course that didn't necessarily mean that the killer wasn't going to target men at a future date.

Really, they didn't know much at this point.

Eames lifted her gaze from the computer screen. "Guess who Wendy Phillips is related to?"

Goren looked up at her. The first murder victim, the woman who had slumped over the table and died out front of her office building, went by the name 'Wendy'. It was instead of her given name 'Gwendolyn'. He blinked. "Gertrude Patterson?"

Eames nodded and handed him the file. "I pulled this off the net…growing up Wendy apparently used to go with her grandmother to charity events. She stopped doing that when she hit her 20's."

Goren looked over the file curiously. "Any other relatives?"

"There's mention of two grandsons. Captain says Mrs. Patterson's most recent will should be brought over by the end of the day."

Goren nodded. "I still think…there's more."

"It's possible this could be a simple case of greed."

"No…why use Hemlock then? It doesn't make sense."

"Maybe it was used to throw us off?"

"Um…no. I don't think so." He tilted his head, studying the crime scene photos. "Something…"

Eames hung up the phone. "Rogers wants to see us."

Goren gathered all the photos and put them back into his binder before zipping it up. He followed her towards the elevators.

Once they got to the morgue, they were filled in on the reason for being called down there.

Rogers went over to the body of Mrs. Patterson and pointed out the bruising around the neck.

"She was strangled?" Eames asked surprised. "So it wasn't the poison that made it difficult for her to breathe?"

"No…she was definitely strangled alright. But take a look at this." She motioned to another set of bruises around the neck.

"Hesitation marks." Goren stated. "So she was…poisoned…and that would have paralyzed her…then she was strangled."

"Why not just kill her? Why do both?" Eames thought aloud.

"Because…" It was like a light switch being turned on. Goren knew why everything felt so off. Why these murders didn't feel like any other murders. "It's not about the victim. It's about the killer…or killers."

"Two? How do you know?"

Goren put his fist to his mouth, feeling sick to his stomach. "One is teaching the other….teaching him…or her…about death, murder…and poisons."

Eames' eyes widened. "You don't think…?"

Goren's eyes clouded over darkly and gave a nod. "She's back."

* * *


	31. Chapter 31

The wind outside whistled a little as it pushed against the windows, giving the impression that it was a serious threat and might actually break the glass…breaking the warm, safe cocoon that Hannah had fought so hard to make. This house was theirs, and as imperfect as it was, it was the only home they had. She didn't like the sound of the wind and was a little nervous that it would pick up a branch or rock and somehow hurl it at the window. It struck her suddenly how odd windows were. They were really not that strong and they left one exposed and vulnerable for the world to see.

Hannah sighed, blinking. She was unsure of how to bring up the subject that was bothering her since Goren came home. He was acting strangely and for the past several hours she was pretending everything was fine. Really, that was because she suspected how the conversation would go. She didn't want to rock the boat.

However, she knew she couldn't ignore this. Something was bothering Goren and burying her head in the sand was cowardly. In fact, it was something she had done a few times here and there in her marriage…which was why she was on some level, unsurprised when she had discovered Jaked was cheating on her.

Hannah brought the glass of scotch over to the table. She put it next to Goren, who was staring intently at a file. She didn't like the look on his face, which was something between disgust, fear, and determination. She knew that whatever it was affected Goren differently than most other cases.

"Bobby? Did you want to talk about it?"

He glanced sideways at her, not quite looking at her. "No."

"I think you should. You're upset and maybe talking will help."

"Hannah."

"We don't have to talk about everything, I know because of confidentiality and everything we can-"

"Hannah." He said louder, a littler more harshly than he intended.

She flinched, gave a nod and went into the kitchen and started to become fascinated with how unorganized the cupboards were all of a sudden.

Goren picked up his glass, staring at the file on Nicole Wallace. She had gotten away with so many murders. She was responsible for more than 20 murders, and that was just what Goren knew about. It ate at him that he couldn't catch her and pull her off the streets for good.

He took a big swig of the scotch and flipped to some images of the most recent crime scene photos. She was behind these deaths, but it was possible she might not have actually administered the poison herself. Nicole may have just orchestrated it all and had a lackey do all the killing. It was sometimes hard to tell with her. Now if that was the case, then she could weasel her way out of a conviction once again.

He hated when someone as evil as her could roam free to do so much damage…to cause so much pain. Nicole Wallace didn't just murder people, she also turned some of them into murderers and manipulated them into harming others. It was a step beyond most other multiple murderers, and perhaps that was one of the reasons she got under Goren's skin so easily.

That and the fact that he couldn't beat her. Sure he and his partner could catch Nicole, but that didn't mean they had won. The woman had won in the courts, which was something Goren didn't have much to do with.

He went through all the files, crime scene photos, and his own notes for awhile. He lost track of time, but felt himself being sucked into the dark world of murder and death, thinking only of that. It made him feel cold and even a little afraid. What if he couldn't stop Nicole again? What if they couldn't find her?

"Bobby?"

"Hmm?" He asked, not taking his eyes away from his notes.

Hannah went up to him and put her hand on his shoulder. He lifted his gaze to hers. "It's past midnight. Why don't you come to bed?"

He blinked. _'Midnight already?'_

"Come to bed. Maybe you need a break…it might come to you when you least expect it…you could have an epiphany."

He shook his head. "You go. I need to…" He looked back down at the file and realized all the pictures were out on the table. Hannah didn't like seeing that sort of thing. He gathered up the photos to hide them from her.

She studied him for a moment, a knot forming in her stomach. He was shutting her out again. "Maybe if you just try to get a little sleep. Maybe a couple hours then you could-"

"Hannah!"

She flinched.

Goren looked down and shut his eyes. He drew in a deep breath.

Her eyes stung. He might as well have smacked her because it felt the same to her. "Fine. But if you're going to stare at that all night and let it get to you like this then do it at your own place because I won't watch you do that." She declared, her voice breaking with emotion. She left the room quickly.

Goren sighed and put his head in his hands. _'Way to go Bobby…'_

He debated for a couple minutes what to do. Give Hannah a few minutes to calm down, and that way he could also go over the file again, or go apologize now.

He sighed, got up and started for the stairs. With each step a sense of dread washed over him. It felt as though he had huge weights on his ankles. After the previous day's argument, it wasn't good that they have another one so soon. Especially since Hannah was just being sweet and there was no reason to scream at her like that.

When Goren entered the bedroom, Hannah was laying on her side, her back to the door. Goren's eyes swept over her. She wore her short black silk nightgown. It came to mid thigh. If ever there was a definition to a 'perfect body' she was it. He could see all her curves generously though the nightgown.

He sighed, remembering that they had both made plans that morning and Hannah had kept up her end of the arrangement while he had not.

He heard her sniffle. Goren let out a heavy sigh. _'Shit…she's crying…' _He hated it when she cried. He would do anything to keep her happy and he always felt horrible when she was reduced to tears.

He shut the door then went over to the bed. She rolled over, turning her back to him as he sat down on the edge of the bed. "Hannah." He put his hand on her arm.

"Go away." She sniffled, pulling her arm away.

"Hannah…I-"

"You don't care about me do you?"

"What? Of course I do…I love you."

"No you don't."

_'Oh for God's sake…'_ He sighed. "I'm sorry…I just…it's an important case…"

"I'm not an idiot."

"What? Of course you're not. Why would you think-"

"You could at least just say that a case is difficult or that it's disturbing or something…I don't need details…" She wiped her eyes. "I just want you to talk to me."

He tilted his head, watching her sadly. He put a hand on her arm. "Please, look me." She hesitated, then rolled onto her back to study him. Goren met her gaze and told her seriously. "I-I'm sorry…I love you. I love you so much sometimes I-I can't breathe."

Her eyes watered again and she sat up and gave him a hug. He slid his arms around her and held her for a moment before drawing back a little and studying her face. Goren kissed her softly once, twice, then a third time.

Hannah kissed him again. "I love you…" She whispered and let herself relax in his arms.

It was as if nothing existed but the two of them and yet as though the world would end if they weren't together.

The detective found himself intoxicated by the faint smell of her perfume, which made him realize she had reapplied it. Otherwise it would have worn off by now. He loved her perfume, it was so…her.

His arousal was obvious and he broke the kiss to hurriedly discard his clothes before pulling off Hannah's nightgown. She then laid down for him, watching him hopefully, her cheeks flushed already. Goren then crawled over her and watched her hungrily as their bodies connected and Hannah bent to his will. Through their passion, the only thoughts they had were how much they loved the other, and how much they enjoyed making love.

When morning came, he felt great physically, despite the fact that his insecurity had returned, regarding his abilities to solve the case and to put Nicole Wallace behind bars.

Goren sighed, staring at the wall across from the bed.

"Don't worry. You'll solve the case."

He glanced down at her. "She's smart…she's gotten away before."

"She'll get cocky and then she'll screw up."

"I don't know…"

"I do." She lifted herself up and kissed him softly on the cheek. "You're great at what you do…you're the best. You can do this."

He studied her and smiled softly. Her words, as simple as they were, filled him with confidence.


	32. Chapter 32

* * *

Goren tucked his shirt into his pants neatly, grinning at Hannah while she rolled onto her side to face him. "Next time lets do this _before_ I take a shower okay?" 

"You assume there will be a next time." She smiled, sitting up and holding the blanket to her chest.

He went over and kissed her softly on the lips, drew back, paused, then kissed her quickly again before grabbing at tie and slipping it on.

"Robert?"

He looked at her seriously, at the mention of his name. "Yeah?"

She studied him and asked nervously. "Do you want any children? I mean…of your own?"

He stared at her, wondering where that came from. "Are you pregnant?"

"No."

He gave a nervous nod. "Y-yes, do you?"

She nodded. "How many?"

"Doesn't matter." He sat down next to her on the bed and looked at the floor while he thought about it. "It could be one or six…as long as I…we…can take care of them...and love them."

She smiled and hugged him. "I love you."

He smiled softly and put a hand on her arm. "How m-many do you want?"

"A couple more...at least." She looked at him seriously but smiled when she realized he looked pleased.

"Max mentioned once…that you used to like the Brady Bunch." He smiled.

She snickered. "I watched it only when I was pregnant with Noah…I blame the hormones...but yeah I've always wanted a lot of kids."

He rubbed the back of his neck. "I uh…" He didn't know what else to say, or if he should voice his concern about his age. He doubted he should wait much longer to start having kids. No one could predict if there'd be complications, and if there were he didn't want to be in his 80's when a child of his would be graduating high school. He had thought about this a lot lately, especially after meeting Hannah.

She tilted her head a little and her hair fell in her face. "What is it?"

"N-nothing." She gave him a look that told him she didn't believe him so Goren added, "It'll wait." He kissed her cheek then stood up and finished getting ready. "So…what time is your interview again?"

"Three."

"You'll get it."

"No I won't. I don't even know how I got the interview."

"They'll see how smart and capable you are…don't worry."

"Me? Worry? Never."

He smirked at her and grabbed his binder from the dresser. Hannah got her nightgown from the floor and slipped it on then got out of bed. She went up to him and adjusted his tie affectionately before patting him on the chest lightly. "Have something to eat before you go."

"I don't really have time."

"Bobby if you don't eat then you'll end up starving all day like last Wednesday, remember?"

"I usually have lunch before four. It was a special circumstance."

She put her hands on her hips and stared him down.

"Okay, okay, maybe a bagel." He held up his hands in defeat.

She smiled. "Thanks." She kissed him on the lips quickly then left the room. He smiled softly and followed her out of the room.

* * *

The hallway was a cream coloured wainscoting with strange but expensive looking sconces on the walls. The ground was covered in slabs of granite tiles. 

"This is nice."

Goren raised his eyebrows. "It's too cold. Not enough…warmth." He spoke with a boyish grin on his face as they approached the door. He gave a rap against it, knocking five times quickly in succession, pausing, then twice quickly.

Then they waited at the door to Hank Patterson's loft.

"What's got you so excited?" Eames paused, with a slight smile. "Scratch that. I don't want to know."

He smiled sheepishly and shifted his feet. His morning was already off to a great start and he had difficulty keeping his focus. The gorgeous woman he had slept with earlier kept popping into his head.

The door opened and the detectives presented their badges. "Detectives Eames and Goren."

Hank nodded. "This is about my grandmother?" Hank wasn't particularly tall, nor was he very good looking, though he was well-groomed. He had shaven his head, and judging by the slight stubble on top which revealed a little of where the hairline should be, Goren knew this man had already started losing his hair. Shaving his head was probably his way of covering that little fact up.

He stepped aside and the detectives walked into the loft. A smile crept across Goren's face as he took in the décor. There was a lot of black and red leather furniture, a zebra printed carpet lain across the living room floor, and big gaudy chandeliers. The lights were like oversized large upside down lamps, complete with lampshades.

"Well. This place is…interesting." Goren went over to the marble statue of a jaguar and picked it up. He snickered, amused. "Heavy."

Hank went over and took the statue from him and put it down. "What did you want to ask me?"

"Where were you Saturday morning?"

"Here."

"Alone?"

"No. I was with my partner."

"Partner?" Goren asked.

"My _life_ partner?" He looked from one detective to the other then went over to his desk and took a card off it, then walked back over to them. He handed it to Goren. "He's an interior decorator. He's rarely in the office but his cell number's on there."

Goren studied the card before pocketing it. He glanced around the room again, unimpressed. If Hank's partner was an interior decorator, Goren doubted he would be for long. Not with that man's taste.

The loft was very sterile and cold and in Goren's opinion, definitely needed a woman's touch. But it probably cost a few thousand dollars a month and he didn't doubt it was professionally cleaned on a regular basis.

They went over the usual questions. Hank's relationship to the victims, how he felt about them, if he knew anyone who would want to do them harm… As far as Goren was concerned, it was just going through the motions. They had to cover all their bases, and possibly they could find out some information that may lead them to Nicole. Anything could be a clue.

"Of course we got along. She was a little abrasive but she was my grandmother you know? We loved each other."

Goren gave an uncomfortable nod, thinking of his own family. "Y-you didn't...resent her at all? For putting so much...pressure on you to take over the family business?"

"No...I wanted to. I mean, not working the financial aspect of it, but one of grandmother's stores she owns has the most exquisite linens. It's simply wonderful."

"So your brother J.J…where can we find him?" Eames asked while Goren studied the extensive collection of the Dickens first editions briefly on the shelf before he gravitated to one of the artworks.

"He'd be at work about now." Hank mentioned, giving Goren a strange look as the detective played with a strange looking iron work sculpture in the corner of the room. "But he goes by another name for work…you know, to sound more professional….and he changed his last name years back to get away from the family name."

Goren turned to him interested. "What's his name?"

"Jeffrey Alcott."

Goren flinched, his mouth dropped open slightly and he spun around to his partner. She furrowed her brows curiously. "He…" Goren turned to Hank. "He works at the…Botanical Gardens…in Brooklyn?"

"Oh so you already knew?"

Goren glanced at Eames with a panic-stricken and sad expression. His heart raced, he felt queasy, and it was difficult top breathe. Panic started to overwhelm him so that once they left the apartment, he was barely making sense.

"Hannah, she…and…Alcott…work…Evans-"

"Bobby. Breathe."

"I…" He walked down the hall towards the elevators, pulling out his cell phone. He hit speed dial 2 which went to Hannah's cell phone. When Hannah picked up he let out a breath. "You okay? Yeah…no I'm…just checking…yeah…I uh…I gotta go." He hung up without saying 'bye' and ran a hand over his face.

"She okay?"

He started to say something, but found himself unable to speak. He shut his mouth, staring darkly at the ground, his lips pursed together, and gave a nod. The doors opened and he walked into the elevator like a zombie. _'She really isn't alright…Nicole knows about her…she lost her job because of me…she's in trouble, because of me…what if Nicole hurts her? Or the boys? Oh god, what did I do?'_

Eames tried to reassure her partner that everything would be fine. That Nicole wouldn't hurt Hannah or the boys, and that they would finally put Nicole away. But that was just wishful thinking. She didn't know anymore than he did but she really wanted to see Nicole pay. She, like her partner, wouldn't stop until Nicole was behind bars. Unfortunately, Eames knew there was a chance that Goren might be dragged down with Nicole. She would help him any way she could but she doubted it would do any good.

* * *

Note - I had hoped to update this sooner but oh well, I'm doing this now. Hope you like. 


	33. Chapter 33

* * *

Hannah glanced sideways at the door as it opened, then went back to helping Noah with the violin. She knew since Max a few blocks away at his friend's, it must be Goren who was coming home. 

She was attempting to teach Noah the basics, as he was around the age that he could start understanding how to use musical instruments. He was standing in the living room and she was knelt next to him, placing his fingers on the strings. "Like that…now gently move the bow over the strings." She put her hand on his and moved his hand for him. It created a single, drawn out completely in tune note.

"Great honey."

Noah smiled at her. "How'd I do that?"

Hannah started to explain to him about sound and harmonics but stopped; realizing, she was talking to a four year old and he didn't understand. So she gave up and just told him to keep his fingers on the string when he moved the bow.

She got to her feet and turned around. Goren was standing in the doorway uneasily. She went over to him. "Hi." She kissed him softly on the lips. She studied him for a second. "What's wrong? Bad day?"

He nodded weakly and averted his eyes.

She frowned. "Did something happen to Alex?"

He shook his head. "It's…" He glanced at Noah who walked over to the couch and put the violin and bow onto the couch, giving up, and grabbed one of his toys and began playing with it on the floor. Goren's heart broke. He already had Noah's Christmas present bought and waiting at the back of his closet in his apartment.

"Robert?" She asked concerned.

He studied her, his heart racing, and he couldn't do it. He simply gave a shake of his head and pulled her into his arms. "It's…nothing."

She hugged him tightly, unconvinced. "You can tell me you know…when you want to talk."

He sighed, burying his head in her neck. When he finally let go, he still felt shaky, maybe even more so than before. Noah was standing nearby, waiting. He knew something wasn't good. He fidgeted. "Mommy?"

"It's okay sweetie. Come say hi."

Noah hurried up to Goren and gave him a hug like always.

Goren tilted his head, his eyes stinging, looked down at the boy. He forced his tears back and tried to be strong.

Hannah didn't know what was wrong, just that Goren was upset about something. She did the best she could with that.

It was a quiet dinner, relatively. Noah chattered on about this and that, nothing important really, but Goren remained silent, picking at his food. He wasn't really hungry. When dinner was done, he just hung back and kept quiet and was a non-participant to everything that happened around him.

Hannah came downstairs, having just put her son to bed, and found Goren sitting in a chair at the dining room, staring at the table. The dishes were left untouched and remained where they had been. Some on the table and some on the kitchen counter, which just wasn't like him.

She went over to the dining room and came up behind him. She slid her arms around him from behind and rested her cheek against his. "Whatever it is…we'll get through it."

He shut his eyes, fighting the urge to cry. He lifted up his hand and rested it on her shoulder.

Hannah let go, came around to his front and sat in his lap and hugged him.

He was moved by how much she cared for him, as he often was, but right now, he was angry. Angry at himself, because as upset as he was, he couldn't help but be turned on. He could feel her supple breasts as they were pressed against his chest, and the way she had slid across his lap had affected him greatly.

'_Shit…Bobby you idiot you can't…god she feels so…'_

Hannah drew back and studied him. "Will it help?"

'_Sex? Will it help me feel better? To forget? Of course…but only briefly…god you're beautiful…and…'_ He remembered the feel of her skin that morning. How soft she always was. He gave a non-committal nod.

Hannah stood up, took his hand and led him upstairs. He cursed himself the entire trek to the bedroom, then again as she took off her clothes and got into bed.

He hated himself for it but she was ready and willing, he loved her, and he was a weak man. He felt weak.

As soon as he had got into bed next to her, Hannah kissed him again. He found himself reacting despite his conscience telling him to stop. A voice in the back of his head kept reminding him that what he was doing was wrong. It was wrong because of what he wanted to talk to her about, the reason he came here in the first place.

The voice became quieter and quieter the longer their lovemaking was. After awhile, he flipped them over and took control. He started to hate himself for it. He tried to will himself to stop but Hannah was enjoying it as much as he was. It was like a drug. Eventually the voice disappeared completely and he was left with an intense lust that didn't seem to fulfill.

* * *

Finally, when he finished the blissful daze faded quickly, as his conscience became once again, audible. He had barely recovered when he removed Hannah's arm from his chest and sat up. Goren got out of bed and gathered up his clothes. 

"Just leave them." Hannah stretched, glad she could help him even if it was just physically. She knew there was something else going on with him, likely with the case, but if he could only ask for help regarding sex, she'd give it to him.

She frowned, seeing him start to get dressed. Hannah sat up. "Where are you going?"

"We should…" He trailed off, not looking at her, as he pulled on his clothes. His dark curly hair was wet from the sweat and clung to his forehead.

"Robert?"

"Just…" He grabbed his tie and shoes. "Downstairs." He opened the door and left.

Hannah got out of bed, confused, and pulled on her robe and met him downstairs.

He was ashamed of himself and he couldn't look at her.

"Bobby what is it?"

"I…" He swallowed the lump in his throat. "We have to…break up."

She flinched, her heart began to pound in her chest. "What? W-why?"

'_If you tell her then she'll just push…she'll want to be with you…if she does, she's in danger…her and the boys…Nicole could hurt them.' _He cleared his throat. "It's just not…working out."

"What? Of course it is…Robert…our relationship it's…" Her eyes watered. "I love you…why would you just give up? Everything's good…we're good…a couple fights…that's all. We made up…we're good now."

He didn't look at her, he remained quiet.

"Don't you love me?"

He lifted his head, his eyes burning. He fought the urge to cry and to blurt out the real reason why he felt he had to break up with her. But he couldn't tell her. He had to be strong otherwise she'd stay with him and put herself in harm's way.

She saw something in his eyes that gave her doubt. Guilt. Her eyes widened and she covered her mouth. "Oh god…"

He took a step forward, wanting to tell her that he did love her. That he was trying to protect her, but he kept his mouth shut.

"So…all those times you were making love to me you were just…using me? When I thought I saw that look in your eyes…the one that made me feel safe and…that was all just…my imagination?" A couple tears fell onto her cheeks. "You were using me? Is that all I'm good for?"

"No." He took a step forward, reaching out to her.

Hannah took a step back. "Don't touch me."

Goren's heart crushed. She had never looked at him this way before. It was excruciating. "Please…"

"You just…we just…so what was that? Just one more freebie before you go?"

"No I…" His face began to twitch from his attempts to keep himself from crying. He didn't want to do this, he was being forced as it was this or risk endangering the most important people in his life. Nicole had already pushed her way into Hannah's life and Goren couldn't risk her doing further damage. _'Damn you Nicole, I'll kill you for this!' _Goren couldn't breathe. "Hannah…" He loved her so much, more than he ever thought he could love anyone. "Please…"

She shook her head and spat, barely above a whisper. "You…you bastard."

He froze, as though she had punched him. He looked at his feet, clenched and unclenched his hands. "I'm…I'm sorry."

"Go." She whispered, as thought the word brought great pain.

He lifted his head slightly, knowing any second he would break. She started to become blurry. He gave a nod and left.

Hannah locked the door behind him and slid down to the base of the door where she cried, feeling worse than she could ever remember feeling.

Goren climbed into the driver's seat of his car and shut the door. He punched the dashboard a few times then rested his head against the steering wheel and let it all hit him. He sobbed for the hell he had gone through the past year, for his mother, for the complete frustration he had whenever dealing with his brother, but most of all he wept for Hannah. She was _the_ _one_, and he had just thrown her away. He had thrown away his one chance for happiness and he had hurt Hannah worse than anyone else could hurt her.

He was no better than his father.

Goren sobbed for some time. He didn't really know how long it was but when he finished, he wiped his eyes, started his car, and drove off to the apartment he had grown to hate.

* * *


	34. Chapter 34

Note – Forgive my Spanish, I couldn't remember all of my high school Spanish so I used the Microsoft translator here.

* * *

Goren knocked on the door and fidgeted. He didn't know what he was going to say or do but he hoped he'd come up with something.

The smoothly finished mahogany and glass front door opened and a Porte Rican woman in her late twenties stood in a black and white uniform. Goren smiled slightly, "Buenos Noches." He held up his badge and identified himself and his partner before asking where the woman's boss was. "Soy Goren detective y éste es Eames detective. Es Sr. Alcott casero?" His Spanish was okay but he had to speak slower to pronounce the words right, which only made it more obvious that Spanish was not his first language.

The woman nodded and let them in.

Goren motioned to the tiled floor while the maid left to get Jeffrey Alcott. "You notice how the wealthy always have marble floors?"

"Because it's nice and they can afford it."

"It's cold and…predictable."

"I'm sure they'd much prefer linoleum."

Goren kneaded his hands, waiting in anticipation. They couldn't be completely sure that Nicole would be here but odds were that she was. It was part of her pattern that she'd stay with her newest partner in crime.

Footsteps on the marbled floors caught their attention.

A man of 5'6, 220 pounds, with glasses walked into the room, with a woman at his side. A blond woman who the average person would think looks harmless, but the detectives knew otherwise.

"Hello Bobby." Nicole smiled at him.

He bit the inside of his cheek briefly before giving a nod. "N-nicole."

"Lydia do you know him?"

"He's an old friend." She smiled at Jeffrey. "But don't worry, he was never my type. Too many mommy issues…and Detective Eames. Good to see you both."

"Why did you call Lydia, 'Nicole'?"

"Because that's her name…Nicole Wallace, **not** Lydia Evans."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"I'm sure you don't."

"We're here about Gertrude Patterson."

Jeffrey sighed. "Yeah I heard. How did she die?" He gained a sudden, sad expression that seemed plastered to his face. Like he had been rehearsing it.

Goren tilted his head, not at all believing that Jeffrey felt any remorse for his grandmother whatsoever. He wasn't sure if that had anything to do with the fact he was an accomplice to her murder or if he simply didn't give a rats ass about the woman. Right now the detectives couldn't even know if Alcott was being used by Nicole. It was possible that someone else could be the accomplice. It was too soon to tell.

"She was poisoned." Eames answered, shooting Nicole a look.

"Which just so happens to be Nicole's specialty." Goren walked over to a long rosewood table and picked up one of the colourful paperweights. He tossed it up in the air and caught it, like a baseball.

"Hey! Careful with that!" Jeffrey hurried over to him.

"You know, I'm surprised at you Mr. Alcott…your grandmother's dead and you seem more concerned with this?" Goren held out the paperweight and tossed it up in the air again.

"My grandmother and I haven't talked in years. She was practically a stranger to me."

"So that makes her…what? Worthless?"

"Oh really Bobby, trying to get him to point fingers? Confess even? Harassing me and those I love is getting quite old."

Goren turned on her. He kneaded the paperweight in his hand, wanting nothing more than to throw it at her. "Love? A scorpion knows more about love than you do…"

"Watch it Bobby you might hurt my feelings."

"You don't _feel_ anything…do you?"

Eames jumped in. "Mr. Alcott, are you aware that your grandmother was killed with Hemlock?"

"Hemlock? What's that?"

"A poison…it's what was used to kill Socrates…" He glared at Nicole. "Interesting how…a former literary scholar chose to use…a poison that was often written about…when discussing that particular philosopher…isn't it?"

"Honestly, you could look at any crime and find a book written about it…and this little pursuit of yours is getting tiresome. I have not now, or in the past, killed anyone. I'm sure my lawyers will be happy to prove my innocence. Better yet, because of this obsession you have with me, I'm sure they won't mind filing a harassment suit against you and your department." She turned to Alcott. "This is why I changed my name. They charged me with murder…to which a jury found me innocent and they would not leave me alone." She glanced back at Goren and said cautiously. "They're _insane_." She was careful to keep from smiling but she knew the words got to him.

Alcott told the detectives. "Clearly you're less concerned with what happened to my grandmother, and more concerned with putting Lydia behind bars…you're not investigating anything. This is a witch hunt."

"Nicole is a killer. Make no mistake about that. She will use you, kill you, and never lose a moment's sleep."

"Detectives, I want you out of here now and I don't want to see you again unless there's a warrant. My lawyer will keep in touch."

Goren blinked, irritated, and put the paperweight back on the table. He gave a nod and he and Eames left. He didn't expect any other reaction but he hoped to find out a little more about Alcott and Nicole first, and to plant doubt in Alcott's mind in hope that he would turn on Nicole.

But it was only the first attempt. He knew it'd take a lot more than that.

* * *

Like the other times Nicole Wallace showed up in his life, she had a way of making herself present even if she wasn't in the room or building. The department was hung up with dealing with her lawyers as well as Alcott's; which made investigating even more of a pain.

The case also seemed to drag on, while the detectives went over every bit of evidence they had and tried to find anything that would allow for a search warrant of Alcott's apartment.

Hannah took her hair from its bun and ran her hand through it. She waited in the car, with the engine off. She picked her notebook up and rested it against the steering wheel. She opened it to the page marked with the blue tab and grabbed her red pen. She went through each page carefully, editing. She had spent 4 hours earlier, after dropping Noah off at daycare, job hunting, and a couple hours at the library working on her novel. It was the routine ever since she got fired.

Even though she didn't like the fact that she was let go, it did give her some time to herself. Something she had been seriously lacking before.

She got through to the end of the third chapter and shut the notebook, capping the pen and sticking them into her purse. She waited for another five minutes before the school bell went off. Hannah got out and waited until she saw her little boy step out of the building. The supervisors made sure that no child left the fenced in area unless they were sure who they were being picked up by, or got onto the school bus.

Hannah waved at the supervisor, who knew her by now and waved back.

Noah then hurried up to his mom and hugged her tightly, a big smile on his face. He was always happy to see his mom. She kissed his cheek and took his back pack off before throwing it into the back seat. She helped him into the car set and fastened him in safely. "Are we going to see Bobby?" He asked hopefully.

She looked at him surprised. "Um…no honey, we're not."

"Why? I wanna see Bobby." He whined.

She sighed. "No honey, not today." She shut his door then went around to the driver's side and got in.

"I wanna see Bobby!"

"Noah, no…maybe some other time." She prayed it wouldn't be a lie.

"When?"

"I don't know."

"I wanna see him **now**."

She sighed. "Noah please-"

He started crying. It broke her heart. Consoling the poor boy didn't help, he just kept sniffling and crying on and off. It was becoming too much of a habit and it made her angry.

When they got home, Hannah picked up the mail and as she went through it, she noticed, one simple white envelope, with her name simply written across the front. She opened it curiously.

It was a letter in familiar handwriting.

_Hannah,_

_I am so sorry for everything. Please know I never meant to hurt you and all I want is for you to be happy and safe. You're a kind, beautiful, sweet, intelligent woman and you deserve much better than me. I hope you find it._

_I owe you everything, but for now I've just sent you a check that might help you until you find a job that you like. I'll send more with every pay check so that you and the boys can rest easy and be taken care of._

_Robert_

Hannah sat down on the couch and studied the letter for a couple minutes. _'Rest easy? Taken care of?'_ She wasn't sure if she should be touched or insulted. Considering how angry she was in general, she took it as an insult. _'How dare Bobby think I'm this desperate? How can he actually think I won't be able to put food on the table for my boys!' _If she hadn't been so furious with him or thinking so irrationally, then it might have seemed like a sweet gesture.

She found the attached check, which was $450. Goren had mentioned sending her more later and it surprised her. It was like sending child support, even though Noah and Max weren't his kids.

There was something about the check, and the fact that he made sure to drop it off when he was certain she wouldn't be home that pissed her off. The check made it all impersonal for him. She wanted him to know how upset her little boy was and how Goren had broken Noah's heart too, not just her own.

* * *

She waited until it was the evening, until her eldest son was home and they were done dinner…until Noah was tucked soundly in bed. Then she left. Her resentment built up with every hour until she wasn't sure why she was angry anymore.

Hannah pounded loudly on the door to apartment 9F, not caring in the least that it might irritate Goren's neighbors.

"God what is it?!" She could hear the detective yell in annoyance through the door. It suddenly swung open. "Oh."

His heart began to race and he looked around, panicked, hoping that Nicole Wallace was not keeping tabs on him at the moment. He couldn't have her thinking he and Hannah were still together.

She drew in a deep breath and held up the check. "What's this?"

"Uh…a check."

She pushed past him. "I know that but why'd you give it to me? As a payment for services rendered?!"

"What? No! How could you think…no. Not at all…I…" He rubbed the back of his neck, his eyes taking in everything.

"Well then what is? Trying to buy my gratitude? Paying me so I won't regret being with you?"

"No! Hannah I was trying to help! Just…just until you get a job." He said sincerely.

"So you don't think I can take care of my boys." She said seriously.

"No. Look, I just wanted to do something nice. No strings attached." Goren reached out to her.

Hannah smacked his hand away. "You are such a…a…a jerk you know that?!"

"What did I do now?!" He was confused and upset.

"Everything!" She didn't know why she did it. She could use the money, but it proved some point. At least it seemed like it did. Hannah tore up the check into little bits and threw it on the floor. "That's what I think of that!"

Goren glared at her irritated. "Fine, tear it up. I'll just write a new one." He started over to the drawer where he kept his bank information and check book.

"Don't you dare!" Hannah gasped and hurried after him, somehow trying to win whatever this argument was really about. She was quicker. She knew where it was kept and swiftly took the check book from the drawer and held it behind her.

"Hannah give it to me."

"No. Not if you're trying to write it out to me."

"Fine I'm not going to write it out to you."

"Liar. I can't believe you just lied, it's so obvious it-"

Goren pulled her close then stole the check book from her hand. He stopped though, comforted by how close she was to him. His eyes closed and he leaned in slightly, taking in a whiff of her hair subtly and unconsciously. He couldn't help himself. He sighed. He loved her smell.

"What was that?"

"Hmm?" He asked, opening his eyes.

She blinked and moved out of his grip. "You just smelled my hair."

"No I didn't."

"Yes you did. You smelled my hair then did that…that quiet half-sigh half…I dunno…but you do that sometimes when we make out. It's like you're…content or something."

He blinked. "I didn't do anything." He lied. He knew he _had_ done just that.

She frowned and asked quietly. "Robert what's going on? Did you break up with me because of weird commitment issues? Trust issues? Other issues? Or is something else going on? Is there someone else?"

"No."

"Well which one?"

"There's no one else."

She let out a breath she didn't realize she had been holding. "Then what is it?"

"Nothing. Just…go."

"Bobby…" Hannah studied him. "I know you well enough to know when something's up. So, what is it?"

"N-nothing." He went over to the front door and opened it, staring at the floor, trying to get her to leave. She frowned and started to leave. Goren stopped her. "H-how are the boys?"

"They're fine." She wanted to tell him how upset Noah was, how often he cried for Goren, but she couldn't. She knew his only reaction would be guilt, shame, and sadness. And, she could never see Goren upset and not feel horrible. "Noah asks about you."

He nervously asked. "And Max?"

"He knows better."

Goren blinked and swallowed the lump in his throat.

Hannah sighed. "His play is in six weeks. The 12th of November."

"So soon?"

"Yeah. He's terrified."

"He'll do fine."

"I hope so. He likes it."

"Well maybe he could-"

"Robert."

He stopped, realizing what he was doing. He was trying to act like nothing happened. To pretend they were friends when they weren't. Goren knew better than that. They'd never be friends even if it was safe for them to be around him. He gave a nod, biting on his lip to stop himself from telling her the truth.

"Bye." She whispered and left.

Goren watched her go. She reached the elevator and pressed the button. Hannah glanced in his direction and he shut the door.

* * *

Note - after a severe case of writer's block and a hectic life lately, I've been trying to get an appropriate Goren-Nicole scene added. But of course, nothing seemed good enough. I'll have more later but hopefully this was enough for now. 


	35. Chapter 35

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the OC's - who are everyone but Ross, Rogers, Logan, Eames and of course...Goren. I also would like to give the writers of Law & Order:CI a personal shout out. "I LOVE YOU!" If it weren't for the writers I'd have nothing to obsess over...and no really great show to watch on tv...

* * *

"Here's the list of all known areas in the state of New York that might have access to Hemlock or could harvest it." Eames put the sheet in front of her partner.

"It's a big list." He said, surprised.

"Yeah, Rogers said she came across some skin care products which try to use it to cleanse and numb the skin…like Botox does."

Goren shook his head. "People poisoning themselves…I'll never get that." He skimmed the page and stopped at one company's name. "What's this place?"

"Oh it's a clothing manufacturer…so is this one here." She pointed to another name on the list.

"Clothing? I heard of hemp…but Hemlock?" Goren got to his feet and grabbed his jacket. They left to start their search for the source of the toxin, which they hoped, led a trail straight to Nicole.

* * *

There were about 12 different places on the list, and so far, about 2 which seemed good possibilities for sites that the Hemlock was taken from. However, they needed to cover all of their bases so they kept looking. One of the places that captured Goren's attention was the lingerie factory. 

The Hemlock was apparently an ingredient in which was used to make the material in the lingerie softer. At least, they were _supposed_ to do that.

The factory was massive. Goren had no idea before how complicated the process to make a simple bra was; not to mention the more upscale undergarments. They were given a little tour of the building and shown just how the Hemlock was being processed. It was in a locked area, with a safety inspector and a chemist hard at work. A security guard was on call on that floor at all times.

Goren ran his fingers along the cup of a red bra and compared it to the standard white bra. According to Lilah, the assistant manager, the red one was softer. Nevertheless, after playing with some of the sample bras, he didn't notice any difference. He grabbed a couple of the other ones on display and ran his hand over the materials. "You pay extra…for _this_?"

"It's better quality than most out there." Lilah stated.

Goren tilted his head at it. "Doesn't seem like it. Eames, would you pay for this?"

"Would I pay good money to wrap myself in poison? I think I'm going to have to say no."

Lilah tapped her foot on the ground impatiently. They were testing her nerve. It was after all, one of _her_ ideas to use the product in the first place. She got frustrated with Goren and snatched up all the bras.

Goren frowned. Eames simply smirked at him and moved on.

They came to a room where a woman was modelling the lingerie for a couple of the business men who were having a discussion about the material. Eames was a little irritated that the model had to keep prancing about in her stiletto heels, half naked, in the drafty building.

The detectives hung back with Lilah, waiting until they were able to speak to the Head of Operations, Simon Sanford.

Simon waved his hand. "Portia."

The model stopped, and tried to remain still. The men talked some more.

Eames sighed, uncomfortably, noticing even from their distance, that the model had some goose bumps on her skin.

Goren was also irritated. He went up to the model, took his jacket off, and draped it over her shoulders.

She looked at him surprised before smiling gratefully.

Goren blinked, realizing the model that was the eye candy to the businessmen couldn't have been more than 16. It lowered his opinion of the businessmen. "Mr. Sanford, are you almost finished?" They had been there an hour and he still hadn't made time to talk to them yet.

He glanced to his business associate, who nodded. They shook hands and the other man left the room.

Simon Sanford turned his full attention to Goren. "Yes detective, did you see what you needed of the factory?"

Goren nodded, kneading his hands. "It's quite…large. H-how did you come up with the idea of using Hemlock?"

"Oh that was Lilah here. She suggested it. I had a scientist look into it and they saw no reason we couldn't use that to create our latest design."

"And has there been any of the product missing or has anyone stolen any Hemlock from your supplies?"

"No. Everything's kept under lock and key. Just myself and Jonah…the chemist, have the security code to get into the supply room where the Hemlock is kept and we do inventory. None's missing."

"You mind if we take a look at the inventory?"

"No go ahead. Lilah?"

She went up to them. "I took the liberty of fetching it already." She gave the detectives the inventory lists for the past few months.

"Good job Lilah…way to think ahead." Simon smiled cheerfully, encouraging her.

Mr. Sanford's attitude seemed to change as soon as Lilah neared him. It was as if he was more considerate to those around him. It was obvious to both detectives he was probably sleeping with her.

The new line of lingerie seemed to be what was running the factory. The other styles and designs were put on the back burner to free up more workers to get the new line completed. Goren wondered what the big deal was about those particular bras were. Why would any woman pay $200 for 1 single bra? They'd have to be insane…not to mention suicidal. So far, this company sounded rather ludicrous. Who would shell out that much for a bra instead of buying a few good ones that didn't have a risk of absorbing poison into the skin?

He didn't care what he was told about safety levels of the material. If it looked, smelled, and seemed like a terrible idea, then it was.

* * *

They came to a cosmetic company that also had dermatologists on site. The detectives were shown to Dr. Bennett who was also a co-owner of the company. It was clear after a few minutes of talking with him that Dr. Bennett didn't pay much attention to what was going on in the company around him. 

Goren bent over and squinted. "I still don't see the wrinkles." His face was a mere two inches from the 32 year old Asian beauty who currently wondered if the detective was nuts.

"Anyone can see the wrinkles…here and here." The dermatologist motioned to a few spots on her face. He refused to talk to the detectives in his busy schedule so Goren was demanding his attention by directly interfering. It worked.

"Those are laugh lines, and they're supposed to be there. They're not wrinkles."

The plastic surgeon glared at him. Eames struggled not to laugh. "You're mistaken detective…" He turned to the woman. "And this new cream will make those wrinkles disappear."

Goren took the jar of cream from her and read out the ingredients. "Propylene glycol…benzoyl peroxide…panthenol, allantoin, simethicone, Resorcinol-" The dermatologist swiped the jar from him.

Goren motioned to it. "Did I see on there the side effects are rashes…peeling, and scarring?"

The dermatologist bit the inside of his cheek and glared at Goren like he wanted to deck him.

"Well she deserves to know the truth before she slathers on a…a _poison_ that will leave her looking like a…flaking old hag."

"Um…maybe I'll come back later." The woman got to her feet and hurried off.

"It's quite safe!" The dermatologist called after her before turning on Goren, irritated. "That was not necessary."

"Now that we have your full attention." He took out a picture of Nicole. "Have you seen this woman?"

"No." He said quickly, not really looking at it.

"Look again." Eames told him.

He sighed and studied the picture. "No but she could use some of this." He put the jar on the table.

Goren raised his eyebrows and shook his head, surprised. _'No wonder there's a lot of women worried about aging…with pricks like this guy around…' _"We were told you make some of this cream on-site?"

"Yeah so far we sell this only to a select few customers who really need it."

"In other words, you sell it to your richest clients and take a cut from it." Eames pointed out.

"We…do make a profit…but it's a reasonable price for the results."

Goren rolled his eyes, hugging his binder against his chest. "And…do you keep track of the products?"

"The products?"

"Yeah…where they're shipped from…where they go?"

"Oh right…yeah…you'll have to speak to William Tang, our scientist, he and his associate keep track of all that." He went up to the phone and pressed the button on it for the intercom. "Lee Anne, could you come in here please?"

A short blond haired, middle aged woman came in. "Yes sir?"

"Please escort the detectives down to see Mr. Tang."

"Right this way." They followed Lee Anne out of the office.

They were led to the factory out back of the building and met Dr. Tang, who was a short, plump, jolly looking man. They questioned him about the product and the ingredients.

"But the Hemlock…that still doesn't sound too safe."

"Only 2 of the test subjects got any flaking or rashes and an eighth of them became scarred from this. It's all in how the hemlock is processed. It's perfectly safe."

"Where do you keep the hemlock?"

He motioned for them to follow him. "We have a licence…it's perfectly legal…" He stopped by the refrigerated storage. "It's kept in here."

"Is there any hemlock missing?"

"As a matter of fact, yes there is. How did you know?"

The detectives exchanged a glance. Eames then asked, "When did you realize you were short?"

"When I was 17, I looked in the mirror and realized I wasn't going to get any taller." He chuckled at his own joke.

Goren smirked while Eames pursed her lips in annoyance. "Dr. Tang, people were _murdered_ using your hemlock."

His smile faded and he became serious. "A couple months ago. Only 6 people have the security code, its different for each employee so it was easy to narrow down. We discovered that it was Marjory Ryan. She was relieved of duties and we agreed not to press charges.

Goren opened his binder and scribbled it all down. "Do you have contact information for Miss Ryan?"

"Yeah. Hold on." Dr. Tang motioned for them to follow. He led them to one of the back rooms where his office was and pulled up some information on the computer. Goren noticed Dr. Tang had a large family photo of he, his wife, three kids, and two dogs. Then there were two other photos of his kids playing, and a separate one of just his wife. He could tell already that Dr. Tang was a family man. He printed the contact information off and gave it to the detectives.

"Thanks." Goren slipped it into his binder. Finally they caught a break on the case, but part of him anticipated that Miss Ryan wouldn't be sticking around for them to question.

* * *

Goren and Eames were led into the house. It was a 1 floor bungalow that carried a strong aroma of potpourri. Marjory Ryan was in tears already and she had been crying for some time. Asking her questions about the theft at her former place of employment caused her to sob loudly, acting as though someone she loved just died. 

Goren didn't blame her. She was in her late fifties and losing the job she had at her age meant that she probably couldn't get any good job from now on. Ageism was on the rise, or so Goren read in the Ledger. But that wasn't the only reason for her tears. Marjory was also very upset about her good name being tainted. She clearly was not the type that Nicole Wallace would team up with. If she had any involvement with her, than Marjory would likely be dead. Nicole would have seen to it.

It was clear to both of the detectives that she was set up.

* * *

Note - Hi all! I' m still here...still alive and kickin'. Had this here and ready to go. I just had to edit it so I finally got around to that today. I hope I'm not losing some people here. I had **no** idea how to explain the chemistry aspect of the poison so I just left that out...sorry for any of you who were looking forward to that...but there _is_ a reason I did horribly in Chemistry in high school. 


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